The KliniK

Two Weeks Crammed Into One Blog Because I've Been Too Lazy to Post

2010-08-17T20:53:00.006-05:00

Don't worry, I haven't abandoned my blog completely. I've had a lot going on lately and haven't felt the blogging bug much over the past two weeks. But I'm back! Thank you to those who voted in my polls. I have inducted three posts from last month into this blog's Hall of Fame, which you can see in the sidebar. "Back in Black!" was obviously a Hall of Fame worthy post, but I also chose two posts which were voted on by you, the readers: "Back at CVS!", commemorating my official return to working at CVS, and "Fuck tha Police", with the funny (in hindsight) story of my backyard wrestling event being broken up by the police.

When I last blogged, Mark had just left for a couple of weeks due to a personal emergency, causing some chaos, especially with the fact that we suddenly went 24 hours on August 2, when we thought it would be delayed due to a problem with the liquor license. So far, the overnight thing has been pretty good for the store. The overnight crews have really been doing a good job of helping clean up the store, especially getting the stockroom organized for inventory this Monday. Mark came back about a week ago and was working overnights for a week to get the stockroom ready.

The fact that we have a separate overnight crew (including two overnight shift supervisors) means that the daytime management (including me) will rarely have to work overnights. However, one of the overnight supervisors is on vacation , so I will have to fill in Thursday night. I'm not looking forward to it, as nowadays, I go to bed before 7 AM. I hope I can get to sleep when I get home after work in the morning, but I don't know. Nevertheless, it should just be a one time thing, so I'll just suck it up and deal with it. But while Mark was gone, I almost had a sudden overnight shift thrust upon me...

One night, a shift supervisor from another store was supposed to come work the 10 PM-7 AM overnight shift. I had been scheduled 3 PM-10 PM that day, and by 10, she still hadn't arrived. I waited a little while longer to see if she was just late, and by 11, I started to get worried. I had no contact info for this person, so I kept calling everyone I could: Eddie (the manager filling in for Mark), Mark, the district manager, and a couple of other corporate people. I got no answer from anyone, until finally, I called "asset protection" (the number to dial for things relating to the alarm system), and they got in touch with our regional loss prevention manager. He had me stay there while he tried to get someone, and at about midnight, he called me and told me that he couldn't find anyone and to just close the store for the night. I called Eddie (who was scheduled to work in the morning at 7) and left a message on his phone letting him know that he'd have to unlock the door and deactivate the alarm when he comes in. His wife heard the message and woke him up, and he called me back and had me stay until he could come in, which would be about an hour. So I stayed, and a little before 1 AM, he came, and I was finally able to leave. I don't know what happened with that person who was supposed to come in, whether her store didn't let her know, or if she just blew it off, but neither Eddie nor I were very happy about the situation! But I'm just glad I didn't have to stay there until 7 AM!

The week that Mark left, due to the craziness, I ended up working about 46 hours, getting about six hours of overtime! CVS insists that no one work over 40 hours (besides salaried managers and pharmacists), so that they don't get overtime, but there was no choice in this case. I definitely liked that check though! Although I wish I could get some overtime all the time, I do kind of like being limited to 40 hours, since it means I won't have to be stressed out from being there all the time. If I was a salaried assistant manager, I'd probably be there more like 80 hours a week! Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point.

Then this past Saturday, there was an incident at work reminiscent of the infamous Louis Houston incident, which, like that incident, I was (un)fortunately not there to see. One of our cashiers was mad about her schedule, so she demanded to go in the office and see the schedule... while there was a line of about 8-10 customers. (She was clocked in, so she should have checked out some of those customers.) The shift supervisor was busy checking out customers, so she said she'd get the schedule for her afterward. The cashier demanded the keys to the office, which the supervisor didn't give (since we can't give our keys to non-managers). So this cashier grabbed the photo lab keys (which did not include an office key) and tried to get in there. They obviously didn't work, and when the supervisor tried to get the keys back, she actually threw them at her, hitting her hard in the back. (All of this in front of customers!) This whole thing included plenty of yelling, screaming, and cursing by our crazy cashier, after which she went outside and started throwing patio chairs around, almost hitting a passing vehicle. The police were called, but she left by the time they got there. I saw a little bit of it on the security cameras, and it was indeed a crazy sight. She's obviously getting fired (and hopefully arrested), so we are literally down to one non-overnight clerk. The supervisor from this incident also ended up quitting two days later!

Right now, we have Mark, me, our photo lab supervisor (who is also a shift supervisor), one daytime clerk, two overnight shift supervisors, and one overnight clerk. Mark's interviewing some new hires, but if you want to come work at my CVS, now's your chance! I know a few people who have always dreamed of working at CVS with me and who I'm sure will be running to CVS.com to fill out their applications!

Besides what's been going on at work, I have some bad news to report. State Farm (the other driver's insurance from the accident) declined our claim. They took forever to make a decision, but they said that since there's no proof in the police report or the insurance statements that it was the other driver's fault, that they're not liable. Obviously, this is bullshit. A punk kid joyriding with his friends making a LEFT TURN (of course, when making a left turn, you're responsible for making sure you can safely go) crashing into a car driven by someone who has had a very clean driving record for years? Come on now! I called Progressive (our insurance) today to see if they can help us fight this, even though we only have liability insurance with them. Depending on what Progressive says, I'm also planning on getting a copy of the police report and, if possible, the other driver's statement to State Farm. Needless to say, I will never, ever be using State Farm for any of my insurance needs. And on all future cars (I think it's pretty safe to say that mine will be replaced pretty soon if I can recover the money for it), I'm going for full coverage rather than just liability!

On the backyard wrestling front, it's been pretty quiet, but this Sunday is our next event: UWA Screw the Rules! We're doing this event at The Criminal's brother's house in Church Point, LA, our first time holding an event in that city (which is not too far from Lafayette). Already announced is The Criminal defending the UWA World Heavyweight Championship against Lawrence Alfred, which should be a very interesting match. And, in an exclusive bit of news for you, the blog readers, I am currently scheduled to face Derrick Night in a Mid-South Death Match! I hope our staffing problems won't force me to work Sunday, as I definitely don't want to miss this event!

Going a bit more in the pro direction of wrestling, Lawrence, Gaby, and I got together at my house to watch SummerSlam on Sunday. The first two hours were pretty blah, but the main event was awesome, even with the stupid John Cena Superman ending. Daniel Bryan was an awesome surprise, and he totally stole the show! Bret Hart looked great in his brief time in the ring too, and most of The Nexus really looked like they belonged in their spot. I enjoyed the drama of the main event, and though it was a one match show, that one match was definitely worth it! The one big disappointment from SummerSlam was that The Miz didn't cash in Money in the Bank, even though Sheamus was totally knocked out after the match. But I think they're waiting for The Miz to finish feuding with Daniel Bryan (with Bryan hopefully winning the US Title) first. Unfortunately, I missed RAW the next night due to work, but it looks like I didn't miss very much. I'm off today though, so I'll be watching NXT in about half an hour!

Also this month, I added some new additions to my WWE Mattel action figure collection. I got a little RAW ring to put figures in, which I put Triple H and Randy Orton in. They really look like they're having a staredown!

I also got the San Diego Comic Con exclusive figure of The Undertaker from WrestleMania XV, which they sold a few of online after the con. It really looks awesome! Here's some pics of the Undertaker figure:

I also went to my bank today and opened a rewards checking account (I previously only had an old, non-rewards one) and a savings account. I started my savings account with $25, and I plan to put $25 a week into it. It will be my fund for WrestleMania XXVII in Atlanta next year! Several of my online friends are going, including a certain someone, so it should be a pretty awesome weekend!

By the way, the reason why my blog tagline says "As seen on NBC!" is because Gaby and I made it onto the NBC broadcast of highlights from WrestleMania XXVI (during the video package covering Shawn Michaels's retirement speech the next night). My good friend Chris Dunshee commented on my Facebook post about it with that, and I laughed so hard, I had to steal it!

Well, that's about it for the past two weeks. I'll try to blog more regularly from now on, so please keep checking back, and feel free to leave me a comment! Thanks for reading!

Clash of the Champions... and Exploding Pepsi!

2010-08-02T16:12:00.001-05:00

AWE/MSW Clash of the Champions is now up on YouTube in full! Below is a video playlist of the entire show. It's definitely well worth watching, with several historic events taking place, plus some great matches! After you watch the show, please vote in my poll letting me know which of the six big matches was your favourite!

Last night, I became the final person to close the store at work. Not because the store is closing down, but because it went 24 hours as of this morning! Last night, I stayed until almost midnight getting the store straightened. Usually I'm not there that late, but I've often stayed until about 11 doing that, when I'm supposed to get off at 10. But I shouldn't have to do that anymore, as now the overnight shift will be taking care of a lot of those duties, which is a big relief for me! I also bought some 12 pack beverages last night, including two Pepsis and a Dr Pepper, which came as part of a special 3/$10 deal that also included a free bag of Doritos. (Visit your local CVS this week to take advantage of that offer!) I also bought a 7UP, since I like to have non-caffeinated beverages at my house to drink at night. That wasn't on sale, but I did get my 20% employee discount. I brought a Pepsi and the Dr Pepper to the apartment and left the other Pepsi and the 7UP in the car to take home today.

Sadly, today, tragedy struck. When Gaby and I got in the car to bring her to work and me home, we discovered that the Pepsi had exploded everywhere due to the heat. I mean EVERYWHERE. It even ruined a WWF cardboard sunshade, circa 2000, that seems to be pretty rare now, as I can't find it anywhere. I hope I can find another one. Even the 7UP got in on the act, as it started leaking everywhere, so I just threw the whole thing away in frustration. So basically, I totally wasted money on the Pepsi and the 7UP. At least my mom has a bunch of wet wipes that we can use to clean the car, so we won't have to waste more money buying wipes. Unfortunately, this incident has pretty much ruined my day. If you take nothing else away from this blog, heed this lesson: NEVER LEAVE SODAS IN A CAR ON A HOT DAY. IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.

In better news, it's a new month, which means it's time for the July 2010 Hall of Fame inductions! "Back in Black!" will definitely be inducted, but I'm having a bit of trouble deciding one or two others to induct. So I'm looking to YOU, the readers, to help me out! Please vote in the poll on the side of the blog, letting me know which post(s) you think are the most memorable. You can pick as many or as few answers as you want. After the poll closes (in about a week), I will induct one or two of the most popular choices. I'd love to get your opinions in both of the blog polls over the next week, but I'd also love some comments from you, on this or any post! Knowing you read this blog cheers me up after my Pepsi tragedy!

A Week of Work That Was Not Weak

2010-07-31T21:33:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the lack of blogging, but I've had a very busy and tiring week at work, full of schedule changes and craziness! It started with a couple of average days at work Sunday and Monday. I was supposed to have Wednesday off, which Gaby also had off, so we were going to have a day off together. Unfortunately, one of the other supervisors had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday, so I switched with her and was going to work Wednesday and be off Tuesday. But on Tuesday, I got a last minute call asking me to work at another store to fill in for that store's manager, and in return, Mark would work all day on Wednesday, so I'd be off then. It actually ended up working pretty well for me, despite the last minute notice, as Gaby and I ended up having our Wednesday off together after all.

The store I worked at is a new one about ten minutes from my house, in a small town called Youngsville. It's very laid back, since it's not a busy store at all, and it's much more well organized than my usual store. I didn't have that pressure of having a million things to do like at my store, and in fact, I almost had nothing to do the whole night, though I was able to help them out by doing some "push overstock", where we scan overstock in the backroom and send out to the shelf however many the scanner says to. I ended up being out just a few minutes after the closing time of 10, whereas at my store, I'm usually out more like 10:30 or 11. I even bought some stuff there, including a small wooden two-shelf "storage cube" (which doesn't hold much but looks cute in Gaby's apartment) and John Cena action figure from Mattel's Elimination Chamber series!

After that, Gaby and I enjoyed our Wednesday off. We didn't do much of anything that day (besides buying a bookshelf at Walmart for my Mattel WWE action figures), but it was still fun to have a day where we didn't really have to do anything. Then came Thursday, where I opened the store and unloaded the truck. I was going to work until 4, but at about 11, Mark had a personal emergency and needed one of the supervisors to leave and come back at 5 to close. Neither of the other two who were there was able to do that, so I did. I went home for a little bit, then Gaby picked me up and we went to the apartment, where we built the bookshelf. Then when I came back at 5, I found out that Mark will actually be out for two weeks!

He was supposed to open Friday and yesterday, so that produced some craziness, since we needed to find someone to open for him. I was scheduled 10-7 on Friday, so I just moved that up to 7-4 and opened, but I ended up working until 6 on Friday, since the closing supervisor was busy with a lot of stuff, and we still needed someone to open yesterday, so I was busy making a bunch of calls to other stores. That was unsuccessful, so I called the district manager and asked for help. Finally, at 6, I left, since I was really tired, plus I was getting very much over 40 on my hours, and CVS hates paying overtime, so they want everyone to avoid getting any overtime. I don't know what they ended up figuring out, but nobody called me for help, so I figure they must have worked something out.

Another thing that produced some craziness is that the store is going to 24 hours a day starting Monday night. We had thought that the 24 hours thing was going to be delayed due to a problem with the store's liquor license, but we ended up getting clearance to go 24 hours. The schedule for next week was originally made with the regular store hours rather than the 24 hours, so it had to be completely redone to put our overnight crew on overnights rather than during the day. Two managers from other stores (including one who's going to be working at ours for the next two weeks, basically replacing Mark) came and rearranged the schedule, and it ended up all working out. Going 24 hours should help us out a lot, since the overnight crew can handle the mundane stuff like cleaning, giving the daytime crew more time to get other things done. They can also help with putting out the stuff from the truck. I close tomorrow night, so I'll be the last person to close the store and lock the door before the store goes 24 hours, after which we obviously won't have to lock up at night anymore.

I've been off today, and after all this, it's been a much needed day off! I edited the main event of Clash of the Champions and am uploading it tonight, so the full show will be available very soon! I'm also late on the MSW Weekly Update, so I need to do that tonight, though it'll probably be a very short one, just announcing that the full show of Clash of the Champions is finally up. By the way, we still haven't heard back from State Farm. I guess they're still waiting on the police report, but I guess we'll call them next week if we don't hear anything back from them.

But before I go, here's a little picture for y'all (how we Southerners say "you all") of my Mattel WWE action figure collection, currently displayed in a bookshelf at Gaby's apartment (the Bret Hart figure is Jakks, not Mattel, and it's Gaby's, signed by Bret in Phoenix the weekend of WrestleMania XXVI):

I hope you've enjoyed my first month back of blogging! Expect the July 2010 Hall of Fame inductions very soon, plus a post with the full video of Clash of the Champions once it's finished uploading. If you have a particular post you think should go in the Hall of Fame, or any other thoughts on the blog, please leave me a comment and let me know!

Random Randomness

2010-07-23T20:41:00.006-05:00

Since my last blog, I put in a few more days of work, closing on Tuesday and Wednesday and opening on Thursday. Closing one day and opening the next sucks, but despite not being able to get much sleep, I didn't really feel bad on Thursday. I was more energetic than I usually am early in the morning.

I don't really have much to say about Tuesday or Wednesday, but Thursday was my best day at work yet. It was truck day, and I got a lot done. The previous night, I had gotten the stockroom ready for the truck, leaving plenty of room for the delivery, and I led the unloading of the truck (done by just me and a fellow shift supervisor), organizing all the totes of merchandise as we unloaded them, so they could be efficiently delivered to their sections of the store. We got in a shitload of Gatorade, like 40 cases or so, probably for a future sale. But in this hot weather, Gatorade will sell even when not on sale!

Also at work on Thursday, I bought a parsons table, which CVS has a few of for $14.99 each. Gaby wanted some as part of the furniture she wants for the apartment, and originally we were going to get them from Walmart at some point, but then I noticed we got some in last week at CVS. So I bought one as a surprise present for her, since it was her birthday. She really loved the table! After work, we had a great day. My mom gave her a few presents, and we had pizza for dinner and brownies for dessert. Then we drove around to a few places for some shopping.

We went to Toys R Us first, where she didn't really want anything, but I bought three Mattel WWE action figures. They had an awesome Ricky Steamboat from the Legends series, which was a must-have for me, so I got it. They also had a special sale this week, with two regular figures for $12.99. They didn't have as big of a selection as I wish they would have had for that sale, so I picked up CM Punk (Royal Rumble) and Shelton Benjamin (Basic Series 3). That Shelton is one of only two Sheltons likely to be released by Mattel (they're putting one in the upcoming Toys R Us exclusive WrestleMania XXVI series), since he was released by WWE a while back. And I already have a Mattel Punk (Basic Series 2), but I really like the colour scheme of the Rumble one, as well as the beard and chest hair, which is lacking on my other one. Sadly, the Rumble one does lack his "DRUG FREE" knuckle tattoos, which the Basic 2 one has.

Then we went to Target. I saw a few new Mattel WWE figures from Elite Series 4 there, including a cool Kofi Kingston with removable workout pants, but I didn't get any. But I did buy Gaby two presents: "Tony Starch" (an Iron Man Mr. Potato Head, which was on clearance for half price) and a little stuffed toy of the alien from Toy Story, which talks when you squeeze it. We also picked up toilet paper, Cottonelle wipes (for the sensitive anus), and four Jimmy Dean Breakfast Entrees (which were also on clearance). I tried one of the breakfast things today, and it was pretty good, except for stupid gross apple slices.

Then we got some delicious food from Checkers. Gaby loves the burgers from there, and I love the fries from there, so it was a delicious late night meal, even though they screwed up our order. Gaby asked for tomatoes on her burger and didn't get them, and I asked for no onions on my hot dog, but I got them anyway. Isn't it funny how people bitch about immigrants not knowing English, but apparently, a lot of Americans don't either? After our Checkers meal, we went to Walmart to pick up some sodas for the fridge, and we also found eight $1 Pirates of the Caribbean books. Gaby loves those movies, so she got those too.

I'm very happy that Gaby had a great birthday, especially after all she's been through last year and this year. She really deserved her great birthday! I enjoyed the day a lot as well. I've been enjoying my day off today too, though I haven't been doing much. I'm watching SmackDown right now, and I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Some pretty good matches have been on tonight.

To update on a few other things... Gaby called State Farm, and they said that they're waiting on the police report. It sounds like they're still going to reimburse us, but they're just waiting on the police report to make everything final. As for Clash of the Champions, I'm almost finished uploading the show, with only the main event left. When I get that main event up, I'll post the whole show right here in the blog for you! Also coming very soon is this week's MSW Weekly Update, featuring the last few minutes of LawrenceMania, which I described in my previous blog. So keep an eye out for all that, and please feel free to leave me a comment right here!

Fuck tha Police

2010-07-20T02:31:00.009-05:00

I had two more long days at work this past weekend. Nothing much of note, just trying to get the stockroom cleaned up and finish putting out the stuff from the truck. But I had the day off today for LawrenceMania, and it was a very interesting day indeed!

The original card was supposed to consist of four one-on-one matches (Derrick Night vs. The Criminal, Eternal Darkness vs. Ozzy Lions, The Advocate vs. The KliniK, and Drake Carnage vs. Lawrence Alfred), with the winners moving on to a "King of Wrestling" battle royal, and the losers getting to wrestle a tag match. But this past weekend, we learned Night and Darkness can't make it, so we had to rearrange the card. We came up with three battle royal qualifying matches (Ozzy Lions vs. The Criminal vs. X, and the last two would remain the same), with the three winners and the person who was not pinned in the three-way moving on to the battle royal, and a bonus tag match of Advocate & Drake vs. Criminal & Lawrence.

But today, we weren't able to get in touch with Ozzy Lions and ended up having to go to Arceneaux Park, where we held the show, without him. (Arceneaux Park is a very historic site for us, since it's where we held several MSW events in 2002 and 2003. This is the first time in six and a half years that we did a show there.) So with no Ozzy, at the last minute, we came up with just having Criminal vs. X one-on-one, going to a double countout, after which both would advance to the battle royal.

During the show, everyone came out entering like an old school wrestler and acted kind of like that wrestler in their promos and matches. Lawrence and I have been watching wrestling longer than our newer guys, so we were the best at doing our characters (Lawrence as Sting and me as The Undertaker). After the three qualifying matches, Ozzy arrived. He had "overslept" and decided to come to the show anyway, so we replaced the tag match with a 3-on-2 handicap match: Drake Carnage & The Advocate & The Criminal vs. Ozzy Lions & The KliniK.

Ozzy and I have been feuding for months, so this match was basically intended as punishment for Ozzy for being late. The stipulation was that if Ozzy and I lost, that Ozzy would be kicked out of Lawrence's group, Catalyst. So I made Ozzy wrestle the whole match, then I finally tagged in and intentionally just laid down for the loss. But then I was pretty pissed at Ozzy's lateness, so I used my power as GWA President to do an impromptu punishment for Ozzy: "Two Minutes of Hell". It's something I made up on the spot where he had to be in the ring with me for two minutes, and if he fought back at all, he would be fired. I laid some stiff shots in on him for the first minute and a half, then something very shocking happened... the cops showed up!

There was someone in a truck watching us for a little bit of the show, and apparently they thought we were fighting for real and called the cops. Three cop cars came driving up! I guess they were expecting a bunch of violent people viciously fighting and just got a few random people backyard wrestling. The park is in a small town called Broussard, right outside Lafayette, so the cops probably didn't have much else to do. They asked everybody how old they were. I'm 25, and Lawrence is 26, but the other guys were 18 and under, so they said we could be charged with "contributing to the delinquency of a minor". However, the whole thing about backyard wrestling being illegal is bullshit, since we're not actually fighting.

Nonetheless, I was pretty scared that they were going to arrest at least Lawrence and me. They didn't, but they took everybody's name and info, then told us we needed to leave the park and get out of Broussard. So we packed up all our stuff, and since we were going to have a meeting after the show, we then met in my backyard (the original MSW Arena, where we held many of our shows in 2001 and 2002, including our very first show), and had our meeting, after which Lawrence and The Criminal (very fitting name, considering our situation today) stayed at my house to watch RAW with me.

Interestingly enough, the show ending when the cops came actually made for a pretty awesome ending to the show, even though we didn't get to do the battle royal. Unfortunately, the cameraman turned the camera off right when the cops showed up, and the cops aren't shown on the footage, but it did catch Lawrence shouting "Police! Police!" and the sound of a cop shouting "Come over here!" Maybe we can edit in some sirens or something. But it's a pretty cool "shocking" ending for the show, and it adds to the feud between Ozzy and me, as I can claim I was beating Ozzy so badly that the cops had to come save him! By the way, Ozzy and I talked in the meeting, and there's no hard feelings over anything. Now we're just focused on continuing our feud heading into our big match at Starrcade!

In other news, Gaby and I still haven't heard from State Farm (the insurance company handling the accident). We'll call them if we don't hear from them soon. I go back to work tomorrow, for the first of two days of easy shifts, 4-10. But then I open Thursday 7-3, right after closing on Wednesday, leaving only nine hours between shifts. That always sucks, but I can handle it. I'm sorry that long days at work have caused me to not be blogging every day, but I hope my posts when I do blog make up for it!

Clash of the Champions should be done uploading soon, as I only have The Walk-In KliniK and the main event left to upload! The Criminal will be handling the editing and uploading of LawrenceMania, but I might post that here in the blog too when it's done. Clash of the Champions is definitely a must-see event, as is LawrenceMania, especially our unplanned surprise ending!

Thanks for reading, and please feel free to leave a comment!

Time for a Day Off!

2010-07-16T16:14:00.000-05:00

After working Wednesday and yesterday, I have my first day off from work! I worked noon to 11 PM Wednesday and noon to 10:30 PM yesterday, so I've already logged 21.5 hours! I close tomorrow, though I'm not sure what time I'm supposed to come in. I'll call Mark tonight and find out. Here's my schedule for next week:
Sun. 1 PM - 10 PM
Mon. OFF
Tue. 4 PM - 10 PM
Wed. 4 PM - 10 PM
Thu. 7 AM - 3 PM
Fri. OFF
Sat. 7 AM - 3 PM

One thing I discovered upon returning to work is that I was really desperately needed at the store. They've had a lot of managers/supervisors come and go, with some not doing much, and others being taken by corporate for some of the new stores they've been building. Mark has been working heavy hours, including a lot of days where he's had to work all day. Mark seems pretty happy and grateful to have me, and so far, it's been pretty good. The stockroom was very messy when I went in Wednesday, so I've been working a lot on getting it cleared up and more organized, as well as helping put out the stuff delivered on the truck yesterday.

Starting August 1, the store will stay open 24 hours a day (pharmacy will still work their usual hours though). This will help us out a lot, since the overnight shift can do the mundane stuff like cleaning the store and other regular tasks, leaving more time for the regular crew (including me) to get other stuff done. There's going to be a separate overnight crew, so I'll rarely, if ever, have to work that shift.

I'm at home right now while Gaby works. She gets off at 10 PM tonight, after which she'll pick me up, then we'll stop by Wendy's to pick up noms! Today is our four year anniversary, and we love Wendy's, so it'll be our anniversary dinner. Cheap (since we's po'), but cute. Then I'll stay at her apartment (when I'm not at work) this weekend and come back home Sunday after work to prepare for LawrenceMania on Monday.

I've gotten a lot of Clash of the Champions up, with only two matches and The Walk-In KliniK left to upload. I recorded this week's MSW Weekly Update at Gaby's apartment earlier today, so I'm going to edit that and upload it this evening, then, if I get time, work some more on Clash of the Champions. And of course, I'll be checking out SmackDown tonight!

Sorry for not blogging over the past couple of days, but I hope you enjoy catching up with this one! Please feel free to leave a comment. I've removed the word verification requirement for comments, since the way Blogger does it is pretty confusing. I get an e-mail every time someone leaves a comment, so I can quickly delete any spam. But I won't delete all the kind words from readers like you!

A Pleasant Surprise

2010-07-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

Mark called me a few hours ago. My drug test results came in, and I'm starting work tomorrow! I work 12-10 tomorrow. I wouldn't be surprised if I worked every day from tomorrow through Saturday, to get me a full week of hours. But right now, I don't know my schedule for sure after tomorrow.

Due to my long day at work, I may not blog tomorrow. But I'm also considering doing daily work posts, like my college posts back in the day. Right now, I'm hanging out at my house after dinner while Gaby does her laundry. I'll catch NXT in a little bit, then we'll head back to the apartment tonight after her laundry is done. Then tomorrow is my first day back at work! Wish me luck!

I'm Up Late Today!

2010-07-13T15:13:00.001-05:00

As I begin typing this, it's about 3 PM! I got up about an hour ago. Gaby is off work, and I haven't started work yet, so we took this opportunity to sleep in today (I'm at her apartment).

Yesterday was a pretty busy day for me! I went to go take my pee test, then walked to a Chevron station and a CVS right next to the place. I got a free sample slice of pizza at Chevron that was pretty delicious! At CVS, I talked to a couple of people I used to work with, bought a cheap $2 knockoff of the Turbie Twist hair towel as a gift for Gaby and a small bag of "ballpark nacho" flavoured Fritos (I haven't tried them yet), and had to wait over an hour for my cab back home. Cab service is not the best in Lafayette.

Then last night, Lawrence came over to watch RAW with me. It was an okay show, but we had fun talking about the future of MSW and general wrestling stuff. We have almost everything for the rest of the year planned out, and even some stuff for early next year! You don't want to miss what we have planned in MSW over the next few months! During RAW, Gaby texted me asking if I wanted to come over, so Lawrence dropped me off at her apartment on his way home after the show.

Today, we got a call from State Farm. The repairs will likely exceed the value of the car (it's a 1999, so the value has depreciated a lot), so they'll probably declare it a total loss and give us a check for the value. I really hope they don't screw us on this. It's hard to find a good cheap used car. Sure, you can find a cheap used car... but if it's not good, you'll pay a lot more in repairs. Anyway, State Farm should be here by Friday to check it out and let us know what they decide.

Due to my busy day yesterday, I didn't get much progress made on Clash of the Champions. I'm hoping to make some more progress soon so that I can have the full show up for you guys to check out! Then this Monday is LawrenceMania! (Exclusive news alert...) For the first time ever, I'll be wrestling former AWE World Tag Team Champion The Advocate, with the winner moving on to the "King of Wrestling" battle royal, along with the winners of three other matches. The losers will still participate in a tag team match, giving everybody two matches.

If Gaby feels comfortable driving the car to my house, we may go there for dinner tonight. We're having Mexican food... well, white people's idea of Mexican food. I still find it pretty delicious though. Now I'm just waiting for a call from Mark sometime this week. My background check came back okay, so they just need the drug test results to hire me. I'm not sure of my schedule yet, but I called Mark yesterday asking for a couple of days off. He gave me Monday off for LawrenceMania, and for Gaby's birthday on Thursday, he couldn't give me off, since that's the day we unload the truck every week, but he'll give me the morning shift so I can spend the evening with her.

But for now, I'm going to go hang out with Gaby today. Thanks for reading! Please leave me a comment, and I'll be back with another blog soon! Probably tomorrow, but you never know when I might surprise everybody with a double blog day.

I'm Up Early Today!

2010-07-12T09:08:00.000-05:00

As I begin typing this, it's about 9 AM! I usually don't get up until the afternoon, but I have two big things to do this morning. At some point this morning, someone from our insurance is going to call me about the accident. Hopefully we can get the ball rolling on everything this morning so that Gaby and I can get things taken care of and not be without a car for a long time. It would be ideal if we could know for sure the other person's insurance will take care for repairs and a rental, and then get those done while she's off tomorrow and Wednesday.

And then I finally get to pee! For my drug test, that is. Unfortunately, I'll have to take a cab there, since we're not too confident in driving the car all the way to the testing place. I really wish I had been able to take it on Friday, so that this could be avoided, but you have to do what you have to do. I used to take a cab to and from backyard wrestling events a lot years ago, since they were on the other side of town, and I had no transportation to get there and back.

I made some progress on Clash of the Champions yesterday, getting the first two matches up. I'll work on it some more this afternoon after I get all my other stuff done. I still need to get the four unification matches and The Walk-In KliniK (this one was a classic!) up. When everything is up, I'll blog with a playlist for you to check it out! In the meantime, I'm going to finish waking up, then get my business handled. Then tonight, it's time for RAW! Have a great day, and please leave me a comment!

Broken Cars

2010-07-11T16:09:00.001-05:00

Last night, Gaby got in a wreck in our car. Thankfully, she's okay with no injuries, but there's a lot of damage to the front of the car. The accident was pretty obviously the other person's fault, so hopefully their insurance will pay up for repairs and a rental while the repairs are being made. We only have the basic minimum liability insurance, so we would need their insurance to cover the costs. We told our insurance about the accident, and they'll call me back tomorrow morning, so we'll see what they say to do from there.

Fortunately, it's still able to be driven enough to get Gaby to and from work today and tomorrow. She has Tuesday and Wednesday off, so Tuesday we'll go get everything taken care of. The place where I need to take my drug test is too far away for her to safely drive in that car, so I'll have to take a cab there tomorrow. This is a tough situation to deal with, both financially and logistically, but we'll make it through this. She'll just drive it only where absolutely necessary (i.e. work) for now, and then we'll get the repairs taken care of.

Our insurance expires at the end of next month, so I think we'll definitely want to look into getting full coverage (including for a rental) when we renew. That way, if something like this ever happens again (which it hopefully won't), we'll have more peace of mind and be able to fix everything faster. I do regret not getting full coverage, but there's nothing that can be done about that now. We just have to move forward and do what we can to get the other person's insurance to pay.

In other news, I didn't make as much progress on editing Clash of the Champions tonight as I wanted to, but I did get the first couple of segments up. I'll work on it a lot more today and hopefully have it up very soon. But as another little teaser, below is a brawl between Derrick Night and me before the show officially started. Night thought he was going to wrestle a pre-show match... but I had other plans for him! Thanks for reading, and I'll keep you updated on everything. Please leave me a comment if you read my blog!

Broken Dreams

2010-07-10T16:41:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately, my dreams of getting another "1 of 1,000" WWE Mattel figure were broken when I went to Walmart last night. That case was indeed the Elimination Chamber series, and there were two of Drew McIntyre's first ever figure! Unfortunately, neither figure had a "1 of 1,000" belt, so I did not purchase any figures. They also had Batista, Chris Jericho, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and The Undertaker from that series. The way they did Undertaker was a pretty cool idea, with his torso painted as if the straps of his singlet are down, like they were at the end of his match at that PPV.

Does anyone else think it would have been funny if, on SmackDown last night, Jack Swagger had gotten Rey Mysterio in the ankle lock at the beginning of the show and just dragged him around Atlanta for the whole two hours, showing footage of them between matches?

Not much going on today. I'll be starting work shortly on editing the videos for Clash of the Champions. I completed the MSW website update yesterday, so check that out for a little preview of the show, including some pictures! The results are given away though, so if you want to watch the show on YouTube without spoilers, then I guess you would not want to check it out.

To whet your appetite for Clash of the Champions, below is a match I had with Derrick Night for the MSW World Heavyweight Championship in May at MSW End of School Bash 2010: Tradition Victorious! Clash of the Champions features a rematch of this match, but as an "I Quit" match and a unification match with Derrick Night's AWE World Tradition Wrestling Championship. Enjoy the match, and I'll be back soon (probably tomorrow) with another blog!

I Can't Pee Today

2010-07-09T14:08:00.001-05:00

For my drug test, that is. The drug testing lab was at lunch when Gaby (who took me) and I went, and since Gaby works at 2 today, we didn't have time to stick around and do it after lunch. They're closed this weekend, meaning I can't take my drug test until Monday. This may delay the start of my employment for a few days if it takes a little while for the drug test results to go to CVS, but I hope not. I'm eager to start making that money, money, yeah, yeah!

In other news, my next backyard wrestling event will be LawrenceMania 2010 on Monday, July 19. This event won't be connected with a company, such as MSW, but instead is a show promoted by Lawrence Alfred (some may know him better as The Law) himself, and, like last year's LawrenceMania, it will be a tribute to professional wrestling. The wrestlers will act like various old school wrestlers as a tribute to them, and the show won't really involve our storylines very much. Last year's LawrenceMania was really fun, and I expect this one's to be as well. The best part is that it will be in Arceneaux Park, a park near my house where we used to do MSW shows years ago. When I bring my drug test form to Mark on Monday, I'll ask him for that day off.

I also have some backyard wrestling work to do today and over the next few days, as I want to update the MSW website with results from this past Monday's Clash of the Champions event, as well as editing the video of the event and uploading it to YouTube. Clash of the Champions was an awesome event, and I highly recommend checking it out when it's up on YouTube. When the whole show is up, I'll blog about it to make sure no one misses the action!

After work, Gaby and I are going to Walmart to pick up some noms (what we call food, from the term NOM NOM NOM). I'm also looking forward to our trip for another reason. Last night, we were at Walmart, and I saw a sealed case of WWE action figures. Hopefully they put them out today and they're still all there. Due to low funds, I probably won't buy any, unless they have one of the special ones with "1 of 1,000" commemorative belts. I have one like that of The Great Khali. I'm guessing this case was probably the Elimination Chamber series, in which case Drew McIntyre would be the one that could be "1 of 1,000".

As you might have guessed, I am a big fan of Mattel's WWE action figures. I collected a lot of Jakks WWE figures from 1999-2009. In fact, I have hundreds of them! But Mattel's are way better quality than Jakks. Right now, I have 18 WWE Mattel figures (all loose, except Khali, who is still in the box). They are:
2-Packs Series 1: Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella
2-Packs Series 2: Finlay & Hornswoggle
Basic Series 2: CM Punk
Basic Series 3: Mickie James
Basic Series 3: The Great Khali (1 of 1,000 #874)
Elite Series 1: The Undertaker
Entrance Greats Series 1: Rey Mysterio
Entrance Greats Series 1: Shawn Michaels
Flex Force Series 2: Evan Bourne
Signature Series: Chris Jericho
Survivor Series: The Miz
World Heavyweight Championship w/ Randy Orton & Triple H
WrestleMania Heritage: Batista
WrestleMania Heritage: Edge
WrestleMania Heritage: Stone Cold Steve Austin

Also tonight is SmackDown! I still haven't decided if I'm going to start doing reviews again (like my old "results and thoughts" posts) or not. I might pick a show and review it to try it out. Nowadays, I usually only watch the wrestling TV shows that are on when Gaby is at work, since when she's at work, I'm at home. When she's not at work, I'm at her apartment with her, and she doesn't have a TV yet, and "our" Internet (which we steal from a neighbour's wireless) is pretty slow, so it's hard to watch a stream. But one day, we will live the dream of having a TV!

Well, I'd better get started on my big day. Please leave a comment if you read my blog. I'd love to know who's reading! I tried putting the Followers box on my blog, but it doesn't work for some reason. I especially hope my two old friends who used to read this blog back in the day will stay with me again! The discussions we had in the blog comments were often more fun than the blogs themselves.

Back at CVS!

2010-07-08T17:14:00.000-05:00

It's funny how in life, sometimes you go out and try something new, but end up going back to the same old familiar place.

Today, I got two calls back from CVS. One of them was from someone in corporate, and the other was from Mark, the manager when I used to work at CVS (and even as far back as when it was Eckerd). He wants me back, and he's able to bypass a lot of the application and interview stuff that I would need to do if I worked at another store. I decided to accept his offer and work at my old store again, especially since he can start me probably next week, a lot sooner than I would have started otherwise.

It's no secret that I had a falling out with CVS and Mark when I left over a year ago. Neither of us holds a grudge against the other, because we both understand that there were certain situations that led to that. Basically, I tried to be the "good employee" and hold a lot of my feelings in rather than expressing them to Mark. So when I became frustrated with a lot of stuff going on, I ended up just letting the pressure build, and I ended up exploding shortly after I returned from my Houston vacation.

But returning to CVS will be a fresh start for me. I'll try to bring some new attitudes to how I handle work. If something's bothering me, I'll talk to Mark about it rather than letting it build too much. I also want to try not to "take work home", meaning to not worry about work stuff at home. That was one thing that stressed me out as well. I became so emotionally invested in my job that I became very frustrated and stressed when things weren't going right, which they often didn't.

Some things have changed about the store and about CVS, but a lot haven't. There is now a good staff of employees, so we shouldn't have the understaffing issues that led to a lot of the problems last time. But besides that, most of the systems and the basic things haven't changed, so I should be able to easily get back into it. And it seems like it's not as stressful of an environment anymore, so I can feel more comfortable while I'm getting back into the routine of the job.

I'm going to go pee in a cup for them tomorrow, then when my background check and drug test results come in next week, I should be able to start working toward the end of next week. Then I can rest easy, having a nice steady income once again. I'm looking forward to my new (but really old) job!

Back in Black!

2010-07-08T00:50:00.000-05:00

Wooooooooooo! I'm back, Jack! Large and in charge, stylin' and profilin', jet flyin', limosuine ridin', SON OF A GUN! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

At the request of my awesome and beautiful girlfriend Gaby... FINALLY, The KliniK has come back to blogging! It's been very interesting to look back at the six or seven months where I blogged regularly. So many things have changed in my life, and some of the things in my blog entries take on a new meaning when considering those changes.

One thing I blogged about in many of my college posts (by the way, I graduated in 2007), was my quest to talk to and eventually date a girl in one of my classes named Sara. I never got anywhere with her, and my loneliness continued for another year or two, until the greatest thing to ever happen in my life happened to me: I found Gaby. Well, actually, she found me. She saw my MySpace and was impressed by the fact that I was a backyard wrestler (not to mention a good looking guy!), so she commented on my profile. That was the start of many nights of talking online, which led to our relationship forming.

Gaby and I were only able to talk online (and via phone, though neither of us are big fans of the phone) for about two and a half years, until she visited me for a week in November 2008. We had the time of our lives just hanging out that week, including a day where she defeated my "twin brother" Sir Buffkins in a match at MSW Starrcade XXVI: War Games and, later that night, inducted me into the MSW Hall of Fame. She would visit again in April 2009 for a trip to Houston to see WrestleMania 25 in person! We had an amazing week of wrestling experiences, including a "Legends of Wrestling" convention, two ROH events, the WWE Hall of Fame, WrestleMania Axxess, WrestleMania itself, and RAW the next night!

Gaby made her third trip to Lafayette in January 2010... but this time, it was a one-way trip. She moved here! After years of waiting, we finally get to be together in person every day! We even took another WrestleMania trip, this time to Phoenix for the 26th edition! We had another wrestling-packed week, including Axxess, two Dragon Gate USA events, an ROH event, the WWE Hall of Fame, WrestleMania XXVI, and RAW the next night, featuring Shawn Michaels's emotional retirement speech after losing his final match (a ***** classic against The Undertaker) the night before. We even squeezed a major non-wrestling event in there, as we attended an awesome Paul McCartney concert right after WrestleMania!

In the end, I'm glad that my failures with girls such as Emily and Sara, many of which are discussed in this blog's archives, happened. They left me open for a woman far better than any other... Gaby! She was definitely worth the wait.

As I mentioned earlier, I graduated college in 2007. I also finally left my job at CVS in April 2009, after five years there. I was promoted to Shift Supervisor in August 2006, but after a few years of that, it was time to try something new. I remained jobless for about a year, until I worked at a call center place called Dexcomm for three weeks, before realizing that's not really for me. I've applied for an open Shift Supervisor position at CVS, so it looks like I may be "coming home"! I'll keep you posted on how that goes right here on this blog.

One thing that has remained constant is my backyard wrestling career. There was a period of about a year and a half in 2006 and 2007 where I didn't wrestle at all, due to work commitments interfering with my ability to make shows. Since I was the co-promoter of MSW, this also meant that there were no MSW shows during that time. The funny thing is that I was one half of the MSW World Tag Team Champions that entire time. But at the beginning of 2008, we got two new talents, Da Kid and Derrick Night, that re-energized MSW, and since then, we've been holding numerous shows, and I've been in the ring a lot! On July 5, 2009, I successfully returned to the top of backyard wrestling, winning the MSW World Heavyweight Championship from Lil Ace, my first World Heavyweight Championship in over three and a half years! I still hold that title today, and I made one full year as champion this past Monday.

Indeed, a lot has happened in the past five and a half years since I stopped blogging on a regular basis. But I now plan to be active here once again, sharing my life with those who care to read it. I have updated the Hall of Fame, where I put my best and favourite posts, with eight posts from October 2004-January 2005. Starting this month, at the end of every month, I plan to add two or three posts from the past month to the Hall of Fame. If you're new to this blog and want to check out my old posts but don't have time to read the whole blog, read the Hall of Fame posts. They are all either well written essays, very funny posts, posts chronicling important moments in my life, or just memorable for one reason or another.

With new Blogger technology, I have added a few new features to this blog. You can now "like" or "dislike" any of my posts. There is also a new, more modern layout, and the blog archive is easier to navigate. I hope you enjoy my blog and all its posts, past, present, and future! Thank you for reading.

Where am I now?

2009-05-10T21:36:00.001-05:00

Obviously, I haven't updated this blog in over four years. I may or may not return to blogging here, but I'm leaving this blog up for posterity. If you want to see what I'm up to now, you can follow me at these sites:

http://www.facebook.com/theklinik
http://www.twitter.com/theklinik
http://www.myspace.com/klinik

And my backyard wrestling federation, MSW, is still going strong! Follow it at these sites:

http://www.mswwrestling.com
http://www.youtube.com/mswwrestling
http://www.twitter.com/mswwrestling

Thank you to everyone who enjoyed this blog over the years and anyone new that reads it!

Need more!

2008-08-22T23:32:00.001-05:00

The KliniK should really start posting here again...

Watch Me Wrestle Online This Saturday!

2005-02-20T00:13:00.000-06:00

(EDIT 5/10/09: This broadcast has come and gone a long time ago, but you can watch the match any time on MSW's YouTube Channel! Click here for a playlist that includes this match and three other MSW TLC matches.)

NCW No Remorse
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Broadcast online at Channel125.com

Watch the classic TLC (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs) match from Halloween 2004 featuring yours truly, The KliniK!

XWF Tag Team Title TLC Match:
The KliniK & Double X
vs.
The Law & Josh
vs.
Jett & Lil Ace

Check out exclusive preview pictures from the match at the MSW website!

Rico Returns! (Plus Other News)

2005-02-02T23:36:00.000-06:00

In a nice surprise, Rico has made his return to wrestling since being fired from WWE, teaming with (Bull) Buchanan to win All Japan's All Asia Tag Team Title (becoming the 78th champions) from Mitsuya Nagai & Masayuki Naruse earlier today. Those of us who watched Rico in WWE know he was a very talented wrestler, and I'm glad to see him win some gold. I just hope he can come wrestle in the US again at some point as well. Congratulations to Rico & Buchanan!

In other news, I haven't really been on much due to my insane work schedule this week, but I'm doing pretty fine. I have some days off from class next week due to Mardi Gras holidays, so I should be able to get some wrestling watched, but at this point, I'm quitting the reviews. I just didn't really enjoy sitting there transcribing stuff and rating matches anymore, and I'd rather just sit down and enjoy wrestling. I did see Royal Rumble a few nights ago, and it was a very good and solid show, with an awesome Rumble match. I haven't seen RAW yet, but I may check that out this weekend when I have time. I also hope to get some DVDs watched, perhaps the ROH shows with the Joe vs. Punk matches.

Also, MSW's next show, Night of the Iron Men, is currently scheduled for Sunday, February 13, headlined by, of course, the Iron Man match between The Law and me for the MSW World Title. I'm pretty excited about finally getting to have this match, and I hope everything goes well. See you soon!

Heat 1/23/04 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-23T19:07:00.000-06:00

1.Rhyno beat Steven Richards (5:04) with a Gore.
Rating: *1/4
Thoughts: Good, hot, fun match, with a crowd who loved these guys! Rhyno pulled out his usual strong stuff, and Richards had that combination of humour and intensity that works well. These two brought some good stuff, and the crowd was with them all the way. Good formula with a nice flow and pace for a very good opening match. These guys are both immensely talented and really should be doing more than just opening Heat.

WrestleMania Recall: Austin wins the WWF Title from HBK at WM XIV. Just like last night on Velocity, J.R. goes nuts with "Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!"

2.Tajiri beat Wavell Star (3:37) with a superkick.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good squash match in which Star got in some nice offense, including a good pumphandle sitout move. Good sense of competition, with Tajiri bringing out his usual good stuff, especially with the stiff kicks. Interesting ending too, with Star ducking Tajiri's finisher but taking the superkick. Good match that was a bit more competitive than the usual squash.

Highlights of recent house shows.

Promo for "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters. This is really an awesomely done promo, but Chris Masters doesn't look like the type of guy for that gimmick.

Video package highlights of Orton winning the World Title and Evolution turning on him the next night, set to Orton's promo talking about those, then the segment goes to straight video starting with HHH's promo. HHH is getting really tiring as champion. Orton's promo was pretty good, but it was hilarious how the Canadian crowd booed him. I did notice that they edited the segment of Orton's promo with most of the boos, using only the feed from his mic as the background for the video package highlights. That was probably intentional.

Highlights of Kane vs. Gene Snitsky from RAW.

Rundown of the Royal Rumble card:
-30-man Royal Rumble for a World Heavyweight Title or WWE Title shot at WrestleMania 21 (15 RAW wrestlers, 15, SD! wrestlers)
-Shawn Michaels vs. Edge
-World Heavyweight Title: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton
-WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
-Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

For some unknown reason, Christy Hemme comes out to the ring. She shoots T-shirts out to the crowd. Why are they putting this on TV? She is interrupted by Simon Dean's music. Hopefully he doesn't tell her to lose weight, because if she lost any weight, she wouldn't exist anymore. Christy's facial expressions do not match what's going on at all. Simon Dean says he's been watching Christy for quite some time now. He's always heard that the camera adds about ten pounds, but he says that's a lie, because her butt is just as big in person as it is on TV. He thinks she should take some of the money she won in the Diva Search and buy his patented Simon System, because his Simon System can actually help her fix all of her numerous and quite obvious physical flaws, so she can become much more attractive for our viewing audience in just 90 days, guaranteed. Christy says no way. Simon thinks she's saying she's just too good, when Val Venis's theme hits. Simon Dean is fucking awesome, but Christy doesn't work well with such awesomeness, since she can't act worth a fuck. Although she'd be worth a fuck. Simon calls her "Crusty". Simon offers to make this a two for one offer, since as of lately, Val looks like... Val knocks Simon out of the ring, and we go to commercial.

3.Simon Dean beat Val Venis (4:37 shown) with a foreign object shot.
Rating: *
Note: This match was joined in progress.
Thoughts: Good solid match, although Val's execution seemed to be a bit softer than usual. Still a good competitive match, with these two doing some good stuff, though nothing exceptional. Simon Dean has a lot of personality and really acts his character well, and plays an inexperienced new wrestler quite well, even though he is relatively experienced. Val provided some solid work too, for an overall good main event.

Very good Heat tonight, as all three matches were good solid stuff. Nothing bad here, so we got a good hour long night of fun action, and that's what it's all about.

Quick Results:
1.Rhyno def. Steven Richards (5:04) *1/4
2.Tajiri def. Wavell Star (3:37) 3/4*
3.Simon Dean def. Val Venis (JIP, 4:37 shown) *
Average Match Rating: *

Impact! 1/21/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-23T01:07:00.000-06:00

Still photo highlights of Final Resolution, including Abyss returning, AMW regaining the Tag Title, Ultimate X, and Jeff Jarrett defeating Monty Brown. Good idea to really push the PPVs like that.

When they're panning the crowd, I notice a guy with Bret Hart shades on in the front row. Bret Hart shades guy, you fucking rock!

We go back to "earlier today" for a press conference with Dusty Rhodes to announce the main event for Against All Odds next month. It will be Jeff Jarrett defending the NWA World Title against the challenge of the #1 contender, Kevin Nash. Tenay says before they take questions from the media, Jarrett will give a statement. Jarrett says it will be TNA's fourth monthly PPV, and at each one, the bar has been raised, and it gets better and better, and he will do his part to get the job done, because TNA is his world, and it is Planet Jarrett. Kevin has other things going on in his life, a movie coming out in May, but Jarrett thinks about the title 24/7. Jarrett promises that after Against All Odds, Nash will still be the man who never held the World Title. Nash says the odds are against Jarrett, and he talks about all the titles he's held. He claims to be the greatest World Champion of all time on technique alone, eliciting a laugh from someone in the crowd, and from me. Nash says it's all about the money, and he has other things going on in his life, but he could always use more money. Someone from USA Today asks for a face to face photo of Jarrett and Nash. Nash says this is one of his two good sides. Someone from ESPN Radio says that this is the first time Jarrett has defended the belt against someone over 7' tall. Jarrett says he's defended it all over the world, and he's going to South Korea this week to defend it. When they're on their back on the mat, they're all the same size. TNAWrestling.com's Bill Banks asks about money being Nash's motivation and also brings up being NWA World Champ for the first time. Nash continues talking about the money and how he wants to be the highest-paid guy. DDP asks that if Jarrett is the King of the Mountain, what does that make Nash? The Queen? Jarrett tells Nash if the shoe fits, wear it. Nash says stick around if you want an autograph and says he'll stick that shoe up Jarrett's ass. Nash shoves Jarrett, and it's broken up by security. Great segment to promote the main event and show both men's motivations in the match, as well as make it seem important. Very well done and served its purpose perfectly.

1.Christopher Daniels beat Buck Quartermain (0:57) with a Last Rites.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Not much to this quick squash, really just a match to get Daniels out there for this segment rather than to be a match on its own. Quartermain showed a couple of solid strong moves, and Daniels pulled a couple out of his arsenal, but this obviously wasn't much of a real match, since it was so quick, so I can't give it anything.

Daniels says he is tired of the nepotism from TNA and the favoritism from Dusty Rhodes, so he's talking to the poster boy of the company, AJ Styles. He asks why the most talented man in the X Division can't have a title shot with him. It's because he knows that on his best day, he cannot, cannot, CANNOT beat him. This brings AJ out. AJ says he's not "protected", and he's held every belt the company has to offer. He's a fighting champion, so any time, any place... Daniels says what about this time and this place? Daniels has already wrestled one grueling match, but he'll give Styles ten minutes in the ring to shut his mouth. Dusty Rhodes chimes in and says if Daniels wants Styles, he'll give him to him, and if Styles can't beat Daniels, Daniels will get a title shot at the PPV. Fucking awesome! Styles vs. Daniels TONIGHT! That was a great promo by Daniels too.

2.Jeff Hardy beat Lex Lovett (1:28) with a swanton bomb.
Rating: 1/4*
Thoughts: Another short squash, but Hardy looked pretty good here, doing his usual stuff and executing it nice and solid. Lovett didn't really get to do anything, but he worked well in his role as jobber, and this match was really just to set up the segment anyway. Not bad, but not competitive enough to be much of anything.

After the match, Abyss attacks Hardy from behind and gives him the Black Hole Slam! He then press slams Hardy out of the ring through a table! Wicked!

Shane Douglas interviews the six time Tag Champs, AMW. Harris says what the belts represent is the greatest prize in the world of tag teams. He and Storm know better than anybody how hard it is to get at the top, and how harder it is to be at the top. They go for the hunt, and they welcome a challenge from any team. Kid Kash comes out talking about AMW shooting their mouths off and brings up how he and Dallas are two time Tag Champs, and if he has anything to do with it, at Against All Odds, they will win the title. Storm tells them to bring it on, and Harris says if they want a title shot, they've got it, but if they're looking for a fight, that's a bad idea. AMW have been doing some great interviews as of late, and this was one of them.

3.The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) vs. Michael Shane & Kazarian went to a no contest (2:19) when Kid Kash & Dallas attacked Stevens outside the ring.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: This was starting to be a pretty good competitive match, but it was abruptly cut short with the DQ ending. They really should have let the match go and then had the attack be a post-match attack, since this was getting good and starting to have some good stuff. These teams got to pull off a couple of good moves, including that bulldog into the knee by The Naturals. Unfortunately, the match wasn't given any time to develop to show what these guys could have done with a full match.

Shane & Kazarian think Kash & Dallas are on their side, and Kash & Dallas attack them too. It then becomes a four-team brawl when AMW comes in. I guess we'll probably end up getting a four-way tag match, unless they do some tournament or something to establish a single team to challenge for the title, which is what they should do, because, as we've seen in WWE, four-way tags always become clusterfucks. I still think they should have let the match go on longer before having Kash & Dallas interfere, but if they're going for a four-way, I understand that they needed a no contest.

4.Raven beat Cassidy Riley (1:37) with a Raven Effect after pulling him up at the count of two twice and finally pinning him on the third cover.
Rating: 1/4*
Thoughts: Total squash, but Raven was very intense here and really showed his anger over recent events. He was just totally brutal on Riley, and the ankle lock was done with a lot of ferocity. The ending with the Raven Effect and the pulling up on the covers was good too. Total brutal squash done to near perfection by Raven, and Riley... well, I feel sorry for him!

After the match, Raven breaks Riley's finger! I haven't seen Raven do that since he used to do that on Heat a few years ago. He then grabs a chair and goes to hit Riley with it, but Dustin Rhodes pulls Riley out. Awesome stuff by Raven in this segment, and he really did a good job of getting his emotions across to give what he does a purpose.

Shane Douglas interviews 3 Live Kru, who asks about their problems with Shane & Kazarian, and about their relationship with Jeff Hammond. Konnan says if they have a problem with them, come get some. BG James says Jeff Hammond is a winner, a thrill-seeker, he wrestles steers and drives cars at 200 miles an hour, so getting in the ring with those sissies wouldn't be a thrill for him. He warns them to not underestimate 3 Live Kru. Killings calls for an amen! Good quick promo by the 3LK.

Tenay and West discuss the upcoming main event with Hammond. Tenay announces BG James & Jeff Hammond vs. Michael Shane & Kazarian. Oh boy, what a sucky decision to have Jeff Hammond "wrestle". We then go to a replay of Abyss press slamming Hardy through a table. Come to think of it, they really should have waited to announce the TLC stip for Hardy vs. Abyss until AFTER that incident rather than before.

5.Non-Title: TNA X Division Champion AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels went to a time limit draw (6:22 shown of 10:00).
Stipulation: If Styles did not win, Daniels would earn a TNA X Division Title shot.
Rating: **
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 1:59 to 4:37.
Thoughts: Great TV main event, with these two pulling out some great wrestling. Daniels had some big stuff right before the commercial, sending Styles into the guardrail and then executing the uranage into a backbreaker, and then after the commercial, he had the great submission hold. These two traded some great moves as the clock went on, and near the end, they used the clock very well, with Styles (who needed the win more than Daniels) busting out quick pin attempts, and Daniels ducking him in the last few seconds. Great stuff by these two, but the commercial break hurt the flow a bit, plus it was too short for these two to have a classic. However, as we'll see, the PPV will definitely give these two enough time to have an awesome match!

Daniels says Styles's ten minutes have elapsed, so now he demands his title shot at the PPV. Dusty comes out and asks if the crowd wants to see the match at the PPV. They do, and Dusty books it. But it will be a 30 minute iron man match!!! Fucking awesomeness!

Wow, this was an awesome edition of Impact! Great main event, and the squash matches all actually had a purpose and set stuff up. The only real disappointment was the tag match not getting to go long enough, but that wasn't too bad. Great booking for the most part, and very good build for the PPV. It's great that they're starting to build to it early and pushing it hard, and I'll definitely be getting Against All Odds to see Styles vs. Daniels in the iron man!

Quick Results:
1.Christopher Daniels def. Buck Quartermain (0:57) DUD
2.Jeff Hardy def. Lex Lovett (1:28) 1/4*
3.The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) vs. Michael Shane & Kazarian went to a no contest (2:19) 1/2*
4.Raven def. Cassidy Riley (1:37) 1/4*
5.Non-Title: TNA X Division Champion AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels went to a time limit draw (6:22 shown of 10:00) **
Average Match Rating: 3/5*

WWE Jukebox Review: The Rockers vs. The Intruder & Iron Mike Sharpe

2005-01-22T23:53:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm finally watching another WWE Jukebox match, this time at the request of Justice!

WWF Superstars of Wrestling, June 18, 1988:
1.The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty) beat The Intruder & Iron Mike Sharpe (3:09) when Michaels hiptossed Jannetty on Intruder.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Very fun squash, with The Rockers pulling out some unique doubleteaming and athleticism. Great stuff with the crisscross and Michaels's tag to Jannetty, and the ending was pretty cool teamwork as well. Total squash though, with Sharpe wrestling a bit at the beginning but not doing much, and Intruder doing nothing at all but getting his ass kicked. Nice little squash, and a good showcase of the team The Rockers would show themselves to be in the WWF. Plus it was pretty funny how The Intruder did absolutely nothing at all except take shit from The Rockers.

Velocity 1/22/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-22T23:07:00.000-06:00

Well, I never got around to watching the tape of SD!, but since it probably sucked anyway, I'm just saying fuck it and finding out what happened on it through Velocity, which is always a must-watch due to my boy Paul London! So here it is!

1.WWE Cruiserweight Champion Funaki & Paul London beat Nunzio & Shannon Moore (6:52) when Funaki used a tornado DDT on Moore.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: Good solid tag match, beginning nicely with good technical wrestling and work on Moore's arm, and solid throughout. London was, as usual, the star of the match, with his excellent moves and selling, including the way he made the hot tag to Funaki. Everyone performed well here though and provided some good action and intensity. Great fun opener, and I'm sure it'll end up being match of the night.

Pics from the Stone Cold press conference this past Wednesday. That was a pretty shitty tease when they did the commercial on RAW only to have it be about movies instead of a wrestling appearance.

Highlights of The Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero & Booker T from SD! Actually, they just showed the ending, where Eddie got DQed for using the title belt. I assume they're building to Eddie vs. Booker, so this is good build for that. Booker gets pissed at Eddie after the match (and rightfully so), and Eddie walks out on him. Eddie watches as Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan kick Booker's ass before finally making the save. OJ receives a scissors kick and frogsplash to end the segment.

Highlights of Heidenreich's hilarity. Heidenreich talks about how much he hates caskets and will do anything to get out of the match, when the lights go out and Taker's lights come on. Taker appears on the screen and says the days of Heidenreich's life are disappearing like sands through the hourglass, and at Royal Rumble, the hourglass will be empty, and on that day, he will meet his maker, and his maker will bring him face to face with his greatest fear. Taker opens a casket to reveal Heidenreich, which Cole claims is a "lifelike dummy" of him. In reality, Heidenreich is a lifelike dummy.

2.Hardcore Holly beat Robby McAlister (4:05) with an Alabama Slam.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Mostly technically sound, but dull as dishwater. Robby got in a little offense at the beginning but not much, making this just a boring extended squash. Holly really needs to start mixing things up a bit and pick up the pace rather than just basically having the same unexciting match. Not really too bad, just not very interesting.

WrestleMania Recall: Stone Cold wins the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels at WM XIV. J.R. shouts "Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!"

Highlights of JBL telling Angle he's going to get what he deserves, and so is he. JBL shakes Angle's hand as Big Show looks unhappy at the swerve. Angle, JBL, and his boys surround Big Show in the ring. The Bashams come in and quickly get knocked down, as I see an uncensored sign mentioning AJ Styles in the crowd. Show takes out Jindrak and Reigns. I guess Reigns wasn't reigning supreme that night! Finally, everyone gets smart and gangs up on Big Show, which is what they should have done in the first place. Actually, not everybody, since Amy doesn't join in. Big Show takes everybody out, then eventually Angle gets in an Angle Slam. JBL hits a VICIOUS (not Sid) chairshot on Big Show! Angle beats up a now busted open Show, and JBL joins in too. JBL and Angle knock Show out of the ring with the steel steps. Pretty good brutal beatdown.

Rundown of the Royal Rumble card:
-WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
-Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich
-Shawn Michaels vs. Edge
-World Heavyweight Title: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton
-30-man Royal Rumble for a World Heavyweight Title or WWE Title shot at WrestleMania 21 (15 RAW wrestlers, 15 SmackDown! wrestlers)

3.Kenzo Suzuki beat Charlie Haas (6:07) with a claw STO.
Rating: 1/4*
Thoughts: Never underestimate the shittiness of Kenzo Suzuki in the ring. His horrendous attempts at holds and the fact that he wouldn't let Haas carry him basically made this match utter shit. It only gets a very generous 1/4* for Haas's attempts to make something of it, including busting out the Haas of Pain! It probably shouldn't even get that though, as Kenzo dominated the match too much to allow Haas to get much more than that in. Haas looked good here but couldn't carry the big sucky bag of crap. Haas needs to be in a better situation than jobbing to people of way less talent than him.

Overall, pretty crappy Velocity after the opener. A couple of good highlights were about the only good things, but the opening match made watching at least part of it worthwhile. I may as well just have turned it off after that though. Hardcore Holly and Kenzo Suzuki just suck.

Quick Results:
1.WWE Cruiserweight Champion Funaki & Paul London def. Nunzio & Shannon Moore (6:52) *3/4
2.Hardcore Holly def. Robby McAlister (4:05) 1/2*
3.Kenzo Suzuki def. Charlie Haas (6:07) 1/4*
Average Match Rating: 5/6*

RAW 1/17/04 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-17T22:37:00.000-06:00

Well, finally I'm back in the reviewing groove, for my first show since Velocity nine days ago!

The show starts, like every year, with a short video in honour of Martin Luther King Day.

Video package highlights of HHH as the new World Champ, the Elimination Chamber, Orton creating dissension between HHH and Batista, Bischoff booking Orton vs. Batista in a #1 contenders match, and Orton beating Batista in that match after Batista was distracted by HHH. That actually looked like a pretty decent match. Too bad I missed it. Oh well.

We take it live to the Highlight Reel, where Jericho welcomes us to RAW is Jericho! Tonight definitely is RAW is Jericho, because later tonight, he will be facing one of his most respected opponents, Chris Benoit. Last night in Winnipeg, Jericho won a match that officially qualifies him for the Royal Rumble, and right now, of course, we are watching the illustrious Highlight Reel! So on that note... but Hassan's music interrupts Jericho before he can finish that thought. Jericho lets the two assclowns in on a little secret. This is the Highlight Reel, a talk show, and it's customary for the host to introduce the guests, not them wander out whenever they feel like it. Hassan feels it should be customary for the host to get to the point rather than just rambling about himself. Jericho says he wasn't going to forget about them. He was going to give them their proper due and presents his guests, Muhammad Hassan and his wacky, goofy, creepy little sidekick, Daivari! Jericho asks why the sourpusses. Why are they always so angry all the time? He mocks them and says he thought they'd be happy they're not in the United States. They're standing right here, warmly ensconsed by the loving embrace of thousands of Jerichoholics, nestled snugly in the hearty bosoms of Toronto, Canada! Hassan says it's funny he should say that, because he felt a connection to Canada, because Canadians, like Arab-Americans, are considered second-class citizens in the US. But the difference between them and Canadians is that they deserve to be treated like second-class citizens! After all, it's Canada's fault for the way he's being treated in his own country. People look at him like he's a terrorist, but it's a fact that the real terrorists gained access to America through Canada, because Canadian officials were too incompetent to do their jobs right. Canadians have a self-righteous attitude, like they're classier than Americans, but in reality, each and every single one of them is a hypocrite. They have the same racist feelings every American has, they just know how to hide it better. Canadians are afraid to show their true feelings, because they know, if confronted, they can't back it up. Jericho tells them first of all, shut the hell up, and second of all, he doesn't know about the racial prejudice, but these people aren't going to be shy to tell them what they really think about them. Daivari shouts in Farsi. Jericho steals Austin's line, saying there's 15,000 Canadians calling him an ("asshole" gets deleted), and he says Daivari says that Jericho's new band Fozzy has a record called All That Remains that's coming out tomorrow, and they want an autographed copy of his CD. Hassan says Jericho thinks this is a joke. Jericho was born in America and grew up in Canada, so he's the worst of both worlds, the loud, obnoxious behaviour of an American, and the disgusting cowardice of a Canadian. Jericho punches Hassan on behalf of Americans and Canadians and puts him in the Walls of Jericho. Daivari tries to stop it and gets an asskicking until Hassan hits the Downward Spiral on Jericho and locks him in the camel clutch. Hassan gets "fucking awesome" points for busting out the camel clutch. Benoit runs out and runs the two of them off.

HHH talks to some guy backstage and mocks Canadians. He asks Flair about Batista, and he says Batista isn't angry. Flair didn't talk to him, he called and left a message, and Batista left a message. All Batista said was he'd be a little late tonight. HHH says Flair didn't speak to Batista or talk to him personally, he just has the feeling that everything is cool. Flair tells HHH to trust him. He knows what he's talking about and tells HHH he's the man.

As La Resistance are in the ring, we see pics of them winning the World Tag Team Title from William Regal & Eugene at a house show in Winnipeg last night.

1.World Tag Team Champions La Resistance (Robert Conway & Sylvain Grenier) & Maven beat WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin, Rosey, & The Hurricane (3:29) when Conway pinned Rosey after an Au Revoir by La Resistance.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Decent but not well organized action, with not much going on. Not a bad match, but kind of useless. Some funny stuff though, with Maven becoming even more of a jobber, and Hurricane throwing some humour in there too. But overall, not much to this one, just okay filler.

Stacy talks to Randy Orton backstage and says she was so happy for him last week and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Stone Cold press conference this Wednesday in Hollywod! I wonder if this means he's coming back.

Orton comes out and says the greatest moment of his life happened in Toronto, because he became the greatest World Champion in history. Interestingly, there are mixed cheers and boos for him. Orton talks about how it felt to be World Champion, and the boos seem to be outweighing the cheers. He cried that night, because he accomplished something he never thought he could accomplish. And the next night, in this ring, he bled for the same reason, because no one else thought he could accomplish what he did, and that was at 24 years old. Okay, Toronto officially hates Orton. I love Orton, but the crowd just booing the fuck out of him is hilarious. Orton says what he loved was taken away by one man, HHH, and he wants it all back. He wants his title back, and at Royal Rumble, he plans to beat HHH and once again become World Champion. HHH comes out and gets some cheers, so I guess they just love HHH and hate Orton. Lawler actually mentions the crowd and says that every time they come to Canada, it's like Bizarro land. The crowd cheers HHH on as he says that is the same song and dance he's been hearing since he beat Orton for the World Title at Unforgiven. HHH used to think Orton was something, that he had it, he really did. But that was before he turned his back on what brought him to the dance, Evolution, and he suffered for it too. HHH says Orton will suffer some more. He is a ten time World Heavyweight Champion. I hear some boos mixed in with the cheers, but this is still pretty weird. He is the greatest wrestler alive and has beaten them all, Austin, Rock, Foley, Kane, HBK, Jericho, Nash, Goldberg... Orton says he had to hear it all every day everywhere. We get it, you're good, congratulations. HHH says Orton is sick of hearing it, and HHH is sick of saying it. He's sick to death of saying it, but every time he says it, some young punk jackoff kid thinks he's gotta come out and be the guy that's going to shut his mouth. And you know what happens? Every single time the same thing happens, and it's over, he walks to the ring with a World Title around his waist, and he says it one more time. HHH says imagine how sick Orton will feel the night after Royal Rumble when he adds his name to the long list of losers he has beaten. Orton says if HHH thinks he's so great, come to the ring right now and prove it. The fans cheer at the prospect of that. HHH says Orton doesn't understand, he's the World Heavwyeight Champion, and that puts Orton out of his league entirely. See you at the Royal Rumble, kid! Orton runs after him, and HHH blindsides him. They brawl into the ring, and Orton makes the comeback, taking out Flair and chasing HHH out of the ring with a chair.

HHH is pissed off and says when Batista gets there, he has something to get off his chest. He storms in the Evolution locker room, where Batista is. He changes his tone, and Batista says he has to talk to Bischoff. HHH says he has stroke with Bischoff and wants to go with him, but Batista says he's got it. HHH is obviously worried, and Batista says it's something about the Royal Rumble match and the World Title. Flair tries to pump HHH up, but he's still worried.

Coach interviews Shawn Michaels backstage, who gets a HUGE chrous of boos from the Toronto fans, for obvious reasons. HBK says apparently, the fans haven't forgotten. It's been seven long years, he's literally thrown himself on the Canadian altar begging for forgiveness, but it's not happening. He has nothing against Canada or Canadians, but a man has to move on, and what he's moving on to is the Royal Rumble. Everyone knows that if you win the Rumble, you go on to WrestleMania to become World Champion, and he knows that, because he's won it. His plan is to quality for the Rumble and make sure there is no chance for Edge to become the World Champion. Bischoff comes up and says he was listening to HBK talking about qualifying. He says it's nice HBK would like to qualify, but he's Shawn Michaels. He's won the Rumble twice, and one year, he went to WrestleMania to take the WWE Title away from Bret Hart. The fans boo that, and obviously Bischoff intentionally brought it up for the reaction. Bischoff offers HBK a spot, but since he's obviously dressed and ready to compete, and it's always so fun and entertaining when he's north of the border, he's setting up a match tonight: Shawn Michaels vs. Toronto's own Captain Charisma, Christian! It's not really one on one, because Christian has Tyson Tomko and every Maple Leaf blooded Canadian in this arena in his corner. And by the way, his match is next. HBK says he could give the edge Canadian answer and think of every reason in the world not to fight, but he's a real American baby. HBK says he's in the battle, and Bischoff's on! Awesome the way they actually played to the Canadian crowd, unlike Orton and HHH.

As Christian comes to the ring (to a HUGE pop), we see a clip of HBK telling Edge last week to stop looking at the past and look to the future, and Edge brawling with him all the way to the back. Right before the match is about to start, Edge comes out on the ramp to watch, as the show goes to commercial.

2.Shawn Michaels beat Christian (6:35 shown) with a Sweet Chin Music.
Rating: **1/4
Note: This match was joined in progress.
Thoughts: Good match, though it wasn't really given time to become a classic. Some nice action and good moves, with a great ending sequence, and I actually thought Christian was going to win at one point when he ducked the Sweet Chin Music. Very solid action from these two, although they didn't really change their match for the crowd. The crowd was pretty funny though, since you'd usually expect Christian to be booed and HBK to be cheered. But this was a good match, although I would have enjoyed it more if I had been able to see it from the very beginning rather than joined in progress. Great TV match that would have been even better with more time and being able to see all of it.

After the match, Edge spears HBK and locks him in his submission hold.

3.Batista beat Viscera (2:34) with a spinebuster.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: This should have been a much shorter match with Batista totally destroying Viscera, but at least it was short. Not very impressive though, especially for the point they were trying to make, which was Batista taking down a much bigger man. That point would have been made much better with a total squash, having Batista demolish Viscera from start to finish.

Flair continues trying to tell HHH he's the man, when Batista comes in. Flair compliments Batista on his win, and HHH says that was awesome. Batista says Bischoff offered him a Rumble qualifying match if he wants it. HHH says he doesn't think that's a good idea. Batista asks why not, and HHH says it's just that Evolution should be focused on one thing, keeping the World Title, and that means taking it to Orton. The Rumble is a tough match, and Orton will look for that to try to take advantage and steamroll this thing. HHH doesn't want Batista to take this wrong, but it seems a little bit selfish for Batista to go in the Rumble. When you think about it, Batista wants to go in the Rumble, then win it, then take a shot at the title, then it starts being all about Batista and not Evolution, and he ends up kind of like Randy Orton. HHH tells Batista to just sit down and take a break. Batista says he gets the point, nobody likes a selfish, self-centered egomaniac. I am fucking loving this stuff with HHH and Batista.

As Jericho comes to the ring for his match with Benoit (I seriously hope WWE gives this the fucking time it needs to be awesome), we see clips of what happened earlier tonight with Jericho and Hassan. And don't have Hassan interfere in this, please! Just give us a great match.

4.Chris Jericho beat Chris Benoit (9:39 shown of 12:42) with an inside cradle.
Rating: ***3/4
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 2:49 to 5:52.
Thoughts: Wow, what a fucking awesome match! This would have been even better with more time, but I'm not going to complain about what I got. Great back and forth technical wrestling, with unique sequences and counters, and some great moves. These two really felt like they were competing with their technical wrestling, both men trying to take the other down and lock on their submission holds. A relatively slow-paced, very mat-based match without a lot of impact or high-flying stuff, but they threw some good moves in to accent the mat wrestling. If you don't like mat wrestling, you probably wouldn't like this match, but if you do, then damn, this is what we like to see! Great stuff from these two, with an awesome surprise ending, and the only bad thing is that I wish I could have seen even more of this!

Benoit and Jericho shake hands after the match.

Video package for the Kane/Snitsky feud.

Awesome promo for "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters, although I'm not sure that he really looks the part. His physique isn't that unique. I would have used Mark Jindrak in this role.

Rundown of the Royal Rumble card:
-30-man Royal Rumble for a World Heavyweight Title or WWE Title shot (15 RAW wrestlers, 15 SD! wrestlers)
-Shawn Michaels vs. Edge
-World Heavyweight Title: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton
-Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich
-WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair is announced for next week's RAW. Awesome!

Trish comes to the ring to thank the fans. It feels so good for her to feel appreciated. Those idiots in the States (big pop) just don't get it. You should see the things they call her. It's just disgusting. They're a bunch of USAholes! Trish isn't here to gloat, but she told you so. She told Lita that if she faced her at New Year's Revolution, it would be over, just like that, and as we can see by the shiny title on her shoulder, Lita's oh so inspiring comeback is over, just like that. Not only did she beat her, she absolutely destroyed her knee, meaning she'll be out for a long long time. Just in case Lita is listening, she knows it's going to be a long road to recovery, and a lonely road at that, but she wants to let her know there is a locker room full of men who would be more than happy to impregnate her and give her that baby that she keeps yammering about. Just because her knee's messed up doesn't mean her uterus isn't open for business! So lie back, put your legs up, and... Kane interrupts! Trish jets out of the ring (forgetting her title), but Kane grabs her and brings her back in the ring. Kane is about to chokeslam Trish but decides not to. He turns around and smiles, then gives her a big chokeslam! Awesome segment, with a tremendous promo by Trish, and a great heel turn for Kane. Actually, I don't know if Kane will stay heel, since this is Canada, but it was still pretty cool, and I'm glad Kane has his psychotic streak back in him.

5.No Holds Barred: Kane vs. Gene Snitsky went to a no contest (about 6:30) when Kane chokeslammed Snitsky off the ramp through some tables.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Fun hardcore brawl, without much structure or flow, but some fun stuff, and a pretty cool ending. It was good that it was kept relatively short, as that was a problem with their PPV matches, but this was obviously more a setup for a Royal Rumble or even WM 21 match than a match on its own. Not bad for what it was though. Also, Snitsky's facial expressions were hilarious as usual.

Overall, very good show, with a couple of great matches (HBK/Christian and Benoit/Jericho) and some good segments. It was pretty cool how some of the wrestlers played to the "Bizarro World" crowd, and it came off better than when Orton got the shit booed out of him and ignored it. Fun show with some good wrestling, and that's what I like to see. It's always an experience when they go to Canada!

Quick Results:
1.World Tag Team Champions La Resistance (Robert Conway & Sylvain Grenier) & Maven def. WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin, Rosey, & The Hurricane (3:29) 1/2*
2.Shawn Michaels def. Christian (6:35 shown) **1/4
3.Batista def. Viscera (2:34) DUD
4.Chris Jericho def. Chris Benoit (9:39 shown of 12:42) ***3/4
5.No Holds Barred: Kane vs. Gene Snitsky went to a no contest (about 6:30) 3/4*
Average Match Rating: *9/20

RAW 1/10/04 Results and Thoughts (Hassan vs. Hurricane ONLY)

2005-01-17T19:33:00.000-06:00

Here's another downloaded quickie, Muhammad Hassan vs. The Hurricane from RAW. I just wanted to check out how this guy wrestles, and I didn't want to sit through the match with Lawler that I heard was shit.

Hassan takes the mic before the match and tells the crowd to say what they want, but last night, his historic victory over Jerry Lawler was much more than your average victory. Last night, he single-handedly dealt a blow to the biased American media and each and every one of the sheep that support its racist agenda. But tonight, his personal revolution continues, and he will show each and every one of us what he thinks of truth, justice, and the American way. Daivari shouts in Farsi as The Hurricane comes out.

2.Muhammad Hassan beat The Hurricane (1:59) with a Downward Spiral.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Total squash, of course, and while Hassan doesn't seem too bad in the ring, I couldn't really tell, since he didn't have time to do much. He could have done that cobra clutch a little better, but I did like the Downward Spiral, although he needs to give it a cool name. Not bad, but I need to see more of Hassan before I can really tell what he's about in the ring.

And that's it for now. See you for RAW!

Velocity 1/15/04 Results and Thoughts (London vs. Akio ONLY)

2005-01-17T19:15:00.000-06:00

Well, I got VCRs switched out, so I have a working VCR now, but the tapes of the past week of TV were fucked up, so I just read the results and am moving on. However, I heard Paul London vs. Akio was awesome, and I was able to download it, so here's my review of that match!

3.Akio beat Paul London (6:01) with an Akio Time.
Rating: **3/4
Thoughts: Another awesome match from these two. A combination of great high-flying moves with some great impact, and some stiff strikes and kicks. Both men played their roles excellently, with Akio being a heel and slowing the pace down at times (but not too much), and London showing agony and getting the fans' sympathy as a babyface. These two just work perfectly together, and they go all out. From the great technical wrestling at the beginning to Paul London's moves, to Akio on offense, and finally London's great comeback and the surprise Akio win, you can't go wrong with London vs. Akio! These two seriously need a damn push.

After the match, Akio and Paul London shake hands. I'm sure this was the best match on WWE TV all week, so I'm not too worried about missing everything else. I don't know if anything on RAW will even top this (well, Benoit vs. Jericho if they give them time and let them work), but we'll see!

Quick Update

2005-01-17T17:44:00.000-06:00

Well, I think my old VCR may have finally had it and quit. I was trying to watch the tape of RAW from last week, but the VCR was starting to fuck up the tape, so I think this is the end of that VCR. So I'm just not going to worry about all of last week's shows, read the results, and pick up starting with RAW tonight. I was hoping to review every show of 2005, but with my class and work schedule as it is, I may just review whatever I can watch and not worry about taping any RAW or SD! or whatever that I work during. Especially with being so backed up with my DVD collection, I need to spend some time on that rather than watching WWE TV that's usually not that good anyway.

By the way, my sister's wedding went very well. I'm glad she's found happiness. I also got to sneak in some wrestling, as I had "Together" (Randy Savage/Miss Elizabeth wedding song) played at the reception, plus I did the French Tickler and the Spinaroonie on the dance floor!

I'm thinking about trying to get more non-wrestling posts here on the blog, if I ever feel like sitting down and writing them. This way, my blog can be of interest to non-wrestling and wrestling fans alike. I may write something up tonight if I feel like it.

If anyone wants to donate me a new VCR, please do, but I'm not holding my breath. So I'll go shopping when I have time (i.e. never) and see what I can find. In the meantime, I'm not working tonight, so I'll be watching and reviewing RAW. See you then!

Quick Update: Where I've Been

2005-01-14T21:33:00.000-06:00

In case some of you have been wondering why there hasn't been too many posts on here lately and why I haven't been on AIM a lot, I've been having a very busy week. I worked Monday, Wednesday, and yesterday, and today we had the rehearsal/dinner for my sister's wedding, which is tomorrow. Fortunately, I get Monday off from class for Martin Luther King Day, so that'll give me some rest and time to catch up on my wrestling (I do plan to watch the tapes of all of this week's shows and review them). So after tomorrow, I should be here more often, depending on how much I work. I know you miss me!

Class Is in Session!

2005-01-11T20:56:00.000-06:00

Well, the first two days of the semester are over, and it's been back to business as usual for me! This semester is probably going to be better than last semester, as I have a better schedule that works more easily with my work schedule, plus the classes seem to be a little better on the whole. Here's what I'm taking this semester, and a brief description of each class.

-Art Appreciation, which is basically a lecture class on works of art. I think we have to look at pictures and learn about the artists and why they created the art, or something like that. Not really a very useful class, but probably an easy one, and the professor seems kind of cool, so it's all good.

-Mathematical Economics (or something like that), which is basically the economics classes I've taken in the past related to math. I didn't even have to buy a book for this class, since the professor said that they hadn't actually written a book for it. He gave an optional Microeconomics book, but we don't really need that, so I didn't waste my money on that expensive shit.

-Advanced Exposition, an English class which is basically about argument. I don't mean the kind where you just run around calling people "bitch" and "motherfucker", but it's about controversial issues, exploring both sides of it, and arguing your side. It seems pretty interesting if you're into that sort of thing, which I am. One weird thing is that there are no tests in that class (including no final exam), but there is lots of writing, including several essays, but I think I can manage that, since I wrote two excellent essays for my American Literature class my first semester.

-Managerial Accounting, which is about accounting within a company, as opposed to the Financial Accounting I took last semester, which is for accounting outside of a company. That's probably confusing, and I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about, so just don't worry about it. I know I'm not. But anyway, the professor has a weird accent and it's hard to understand him sometimes, and he's apparently pretty old, so it might not be the most clear class, but I think I'll get through it.

-Honors Seminar, which isn't even a real class. For those of you who don't know, it's where you basically listen to a seminar given by an Honors student every week. The first few weeks of the semester, topics are chosen and the schedule of which student is going to present when is decided. Ashley is in my class just like last semester, which is awesome. I tried to get a seminar on backyard wrestling, but it didn't get voted in. I may try again in the Thursday class, which is what Ashley suggested. The only real work you have to do for that class is an essay at the end of the semester on whatever book they pick. This semester's book is White Doves at Morning by James Lee Burke. It's about the Civil War, and it sounds boring. So reading it is probably going to suck pretty hard.

-Quantitative Methods (QMET) is my last class, and that's about applying things like probability and stuff to business. It sounds pretty boring, but I'm sure it'll be... well, yeah, boring. Not much else I can say about that.

One good thing about this semester is that my books cost quite a bit less than last semester's. I was also able to get them all used (except the Honors book, which was cheap anyway). Here's the full breakdown, in case you care (which I know you don't):

Follett's
English: $35.08
Art: $52.83
Honors: $6.83
"Buyback Bucks" from last semester: -$16
Tax: $7.58
Total: $102.32

University Bookstore (1st trip)
Accounting (papers): $36
Accounting (book): $99
Tax: $10.80
Total: $145.80

University Bookstore (2nd trip)
QMET: $97.50
Tax: $7.80
Total: $105.30

That all comes out to a grand total of $353.42, which isn't bad at all for a semester's worth of books. I also got two free highlighters, one for each trip to the university bookstore.

Not much else interesting happened these two days, with one exception, and that was a little reunion of some people from our high school. Ashley and I hung out in Seminar with two girls from high school, and then my friend Travis ended up joining us afterward, as well as another girl we knew from there. We ate at Chick-Fil-A, and it ended up being a nice little thing. We might do that more often.

So now that I've had a chance to check out my classes and get my books, I think this will be a successful semester for me, hopefully not just academically, but socially and personally as well. We know it is in wrestling, of course, since I have been the XWF World Champion for two days! Speaking of wrestling, I'll probably wait to watch RAW until Thursday, since I have reading and homework to do, plus I'm kind of tired.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I bought this cool set at Wal-Mart for about $12 of ten events of something called King of the Cage, which is cage fighting, kind of like maybe a bloodier UFC or something. I don't really know, I've never seen any of it before, but it was a good price for a lot of fights, so I'll watch those at some point.

Well, I should be back with the RAW and SD! reviews on Thursday, so I'll see you then! Have fun and be safe!

New XWF World Champion!

2005-01-09T22:40:00.000-06:00

I won the seventh World Title of my backyard wrestling career today, defeating Jett in a submission match that was one of the greatest matches I've ever been in. We went toe to toe in a classic battle, and I came out victorious. I really love working with all the guys in the XWF, and this is perhaps the greatest honour of my career, as I'm working with a ton of great guys, and to be recognized as their champion is truly an amazing compliment. I hope I can live up to the standard that the XWF World Champion should, and I also hope that this win will catapult me into greater success in my personal life by giving me more confidence in myself. Now I'm at the top of the mountain in backyard wrestling again, and it's time to do the same in other areas of my life. Here's to a great 2005, and thanks to Jett and the rest of the XWF for an tremendous show and an unforgettable match.

In other news, Heat didn't have any matches at all tonight, so I won't bother reviewing it. I didn't order New Year's Revolution, but it turns out that was a good thing, as it ended up sucking hard. I have a busy week ahead of me, since I go back to class tomorrow, but I'll try to at least get in reviews of this week's TV, and I'll be doing so as the XWF World Champion! I also work tomorrow, so RAW may have to wait until Tuesday, but I'll see you when I see it!

Velocity 1/8/05 Results and Thoughts + Match of the Week

2005-01-08T23:12:00.000-06:00

1.Orlando Jordan beat Chavo Guerrero (5:28) with a reverse side Russian legsweep.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Decent match, but while OJ has gotten more personality in the ring since his heel turn, he's not overly impressive as far as his actual offense. Still, at least he's doing some different stuff from what he used to do, and his punches now work a little better now that they're used for showing off. Chavo didn't get much time to pull out great stuff but got in a nice Stinger Splash (hell yeah!) and a couple of other moves. This was a bit of a mismatch, and while not a bad match, not really anything that good either. And Chavo should have won.

Highlights of the hilarious battle rap between Kenzo Suzuki and John Cena. This is damn sure going to be better than their match next week.

This Thursday (Tuesday if you buy a ticket and see it in person!) on SD!:
-WWE United States Title: John Cena (c) vs. Kenzo Suzuki
-WWE Tag Team Title: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Mark Jindrak & Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero & Booker T vs. The Basham Brothers (Doug Basham & Danny Basham)

"Every WWE fan respects Hardcore Holly for what he has accomplished in the ring," claims Josh Matthews. The WWE fans should sue him for slander.

2.Hardcore Holly beat John Walters (3:32) with an Alabama Slam.
Rating: 1/4*
Thoughts: John Walters is the reigning ROH Pure Champion, but you wouldn't know it from watching this squash, as he did almost nothing here. It was cool to see him counter the Alabama Slam, but he ended up taking one anyway. Still, they could have at least given a major champion like Walters a better opponent to work with. Not a horrible squash, and Holly did a few good moves, but not terribly interesting, and too much of a squash to be anything worthwhile.

What the hell happened to Rene Dupree? He looks like a homeless guy in wrestling tights now.

3.Rene Dupree beat Nunzio (4:58) with a Dupree Driver.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good match, and Nunzio pulled off some great stuff, but Dupree, while still good, looked a little off tonight. Maybe that has something to do with the way he looked. Still a good basic match, and Dupree got in TWO French Ticklers, so that's all good by me! Still, this was a bit of a mismatch, and it was pretty obvious who would win.

WrestleMania Recall: Stephanie gets involved in HHH vs. Jericho at WM X-8 and takes a pedigree from HHH.

Highlights of Heyman & Heidenreich vs. Undertaker.

4.Booker T beat Spike Dudley (3:57) with a scissors kick.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Pretty much a total squash, as Spike got in a couple of heel things for offense, but Booker quickly countered and hit his basics. Good energy in the last couple of minutes, but nothing but a total squash, as we've basically seen all night.

Geez, when did Velocity become Impact!? Actually, Impact! is usually better than this. Basically just a night of useless squashes, and nothing really very interesting here tonight. I've noticed that when SD! is good (which is very rarely), Velocity usually sucks, and that was the case here. They could have at least given us a Paul London match. Hell, they should have done Paul London vs. John Walters. Now THAT would have been pretty cool. Bad booking, with every match being a total mismatch and thus a total squash. Oh well.

Quick Results:
1.Orlando Jordan def. Chavo Guerrero (5:28) 1/2*
2.Hardcore Holly def. John Walters (3:32) 1/4*
3.Rene Dupree def. Nunzio (4:58) 3/4*
4.Booker T def. Spike Dudley (3:57) 1/2*
Average Match Rating: 1/2*

Match of the Week: 1/2/05-1/8/05
This is a new award I'll be giving every Saturday night to the best free TV match of the week. If I see a PPV that week, I'll include that in the consideration as well, with a separate Free TV Match of the Week to keep it all equal, since while I watch all the TV, I don't watch all the PPVs, since there are like 80 million of them between WWE and TNA, and who the hell can afford all that? Any other ***+ matches of the week will be listed as honourable mentions. So without further ado, this week's goes to...

From SmackDown!, Thursday 1/6:
1.WWE Tag Team Champion Rey Mysterio beat Eddie Guerrero (13:49 shown of 17:02) by reversing an inside cradle.
Rating: ***1/2
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 6:11 to 9:24.
Thoughts: EXCELLENT match to begin 2005 for SD! This match was a lot different than their two major previous matches (Halloween Havoc '97 and SD! in March 2004), as there was a mutual respect between these two, and the theme of the match was counters, counters, counters. They had some great technical wrestling at the beginning to establish the two as equals despite the size difference, and then great armwork by Eddie. It was great seeing Rey working Eddie's arm after the commercial, to turn the tables on him. The match picked up after that but continued to showcase each man countering the other's offense, and the ending even played into that, working very well unlike previous endings of this type, with the title belt situation and Rey countering the inside cradle for the end. A very slow paced match for the most part (and the crowd didn't seem to like the slower stuff), but the story of each man countering each other's offense was told very well and served to make both of them look great, and I loved the ending, with the very rare inside cradle reversal (shades of Flair/Steamboat 2/3 falls!)

Honourable mention:
RAW 1/3: Randy Orton vs. Triple H ***

SmackDown! 1/6/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-08T21:56:00.000-06:00

I actually watched this when it came on Thursday night, but I had my mind on other stuff and didn't really feel like doing a review, so I taped it, and now I'm watching it a second time to get the review done for all my adoring fans!

Rey comes to the ring with his "619 Cam", and Eddie borrows it to videotape Joy and Rey. I wonder if he's going to have that every week, or if it was just a one time little thing. Pretty cool idea though.

1.WWE Tag Team Champion Rey Mysterio beat Eddie Guerrero (13:49 shown of 17:02) by reversing an inside cradle.
Rating: ***1/2
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 6:11 to 9:24.
Thoughts: EXCELLENT match to begin 2005 for SD! This match was a lot different than their two major previous matches (Halloween Havoc '97 and SD! in March 2004), as there was a mutual respect between these two, and the theme of the match was counters, counters, counters. They had some great technical wrestling at the beginning to establish the two as equals despite the size difference, and then great armwork by Eddie. It was great seeing Rey working Eddie's arm after the commercial, to turn the tables on him. The match picked up after that but continued to showcase each man countering the other's offense, and the ending even played into that, working very well unlike previous endings of this type, with the title belt situation and Rey countering the inside cradle for the end. A very slow paced match for the most part (and the crowd didn't seem to like the slower stuff), but the story of each man countering each other's offense was told very well and served to make both of them look great, and I loved the ending, with the very rare inside cradle reversal (shades of Flair/Steamboat 2/3 falls!)

Eddie reluctantly shakes Rey's hand after the match.

Heidenreich talks backstage to someone, saying he knew he could count on him. He fears nothing, but one thing he cannot stand is caskets. He thanks the person for coming to help him, and we see it's Paul Heyman. Heyman promises to take care of this. The casket stipulation has to go. (I personally feel the match has to go.) Heyman says he knows Heidenreich will beat Undertaker at Royal Rumble, but the casket stipulation must go. He'll take care of this right now.

Carlito comes out with a clipboard in his hand. He goes to the commentary table, but that's not what he's here for. He announces his petition to remove Theodore Long as GM. As soon as he gets enough signatures, he'll take it straight to the Board of Directors.

2.WWE Cruiserweight Title: Funaki (c) beat Akio (3:25) with a top rope tornado DDT.
Rating: *1/4
Thoughts: Despite the distraction of Carlito's petition signing, these two actually got the opportunity to show off some impressive fast-paced wrestling. They were basically just doing stuff at random rather than having a coherent match, but they didn't have all the attention on their match anyway, nor did they have very much time. Still, nice to see them get some time on SD!, and they packed a lot of action into the time they had.

Joy refuses to sign Carlito's petition. He teases spitting in her face but doesn't, and then he turns back around and DOES spit in her face! Carlito is fucking awesome.

Heyman tells Long that he's not like Carlito. He wants Long to stay as GM, but he wants him to reconsider the mistake he made last week, putting Heidenreich in the most horrendous, obscene match possible, a casket match. Heyman asks if Long has ever been stuck in a casket. Long asks if he looks dead. Heyman says in a casket match, first you get stuffed in the casket, then the lid is shut. It's dark, and the air gets very thin, and when you get that last breath of air, that's when the worms crawl all over your body... this whole time, Heidenreich's expressions are hilarious thinking about being in a casket. Heyman asks Long to change the stipulation, and Long says if Heidenreich can beat Undertaker tonight, they get to choose the stipulation. Heyman kisses Long's ass, but Long says he meant the word "you" in a plural sense. It will be a handicap match tonight: The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich & Paul Heyman. Heyman becomes infuriated, but Heidenreich tells him not worry, he's got this.

Angle tells the officers to protect his gold medal, and Reigns & Jindrak come in for high fives, when Amy Weber asks to talk to Angle in private. Amy says it must be awkward, her working with JBL, but she wants to talk to him about potential opportunities after Royal Rumble. Angle says he knows she's keeping her options open, and something inside of her knows he will walk away with the WWE Title. He compliments her intelligence, and Amy says the smart thing to do would be for them to talk more about this. Angle says if they're going to have a business relationship, maybe they do need to get more acquainted. Amy agrees and invites Angle to her private locker room after his match so they can get better acquainted. Angle gets a hilarious expression on his face and definitely seems to be liking this a lot!

Angle says it's a new year, and tonight's SD! is coming from a casino, so at the Kurt Angle Invitational, he's in a gambling mood. He will face a hometown hero tonight in a timed challenge, which means he will either make his opponent tap or pin him in less than 3:00. Should his opponent last the 3:00, he will personally award him his Olympic gold medal. We get Angle's opponent for tonight coming out, who looks like Brock Lesnar if he lost all his muscle. Angle asks this guy's name and where he's from. He stays silent and asks for the mic. His name is Brian Black, and he's from right here in Connecticut. Angle blindsides him to begin the match.

3.Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle beat Brian Black (0:26) with an ankle lock.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Total asskicking by Angle, as usual. Really nothing to this one besides the ankle lock, but these are fun to see every week and don't waste much time.

Jackie and Torrie introduce themselves to Puder. Puder mentions Torrie was on the cover of Playboy, and that's cool if that's your thing. He compliments Jackie toughing it out in Tough Enough despite her knee injury, then brings up her trying to beg her boyfriend to stay with her after cheating on him. He says what goes around comes around, and that's like how Charlie Haas dumped her. He says they can go now, and Torrie says Jackie's not worth it. Puder says girls are all the same, just after his money. Awesome stuff by Puder, and I LOVE this character for him.

Kenzo Suzuki comes out dressed as Uncle Sam for his battle rap with John Cena. Cena comes out to a HUGE pop. Cole announcers before the battle rap that next week on SD!, Cena defends the US Title against Kenzo. Kenzo is the man who issued the challenge, so he goes first.

Kenzo Suzuki:
John Cena, you are about to get served
Check this out
Hot dogs, apple pie, Independence Day
Kenzo loves USA
Gonna beat Cena 1-2-3
Become US Champion
You can't see me
Word life

Hilarious "rap" by Kenzo there! But now it's time for the real deal!

John Cena:
You're just a chump in a suit, man
This (points to crowd) is the real USA
And we all see that you're happy
Because you're looking really gay
Hold the sign up there, boy
Chain Gang up in here!
Drinking sake, eating sushi
That's what you should be talking about
You love to eat raw fish
You're always swallowing trouser trout
You're dressed up like the flag
Somebody get him a pole
Oh, no no no, I know how you can get one
Go out on a date with Michael Cole
That would leave me and Hiroko in the right place
I don't do makeup, girl, but I'll help you with the white face
(Kenzo goes into a seizure)
Come on, loosen the kimono, give me a little glance
I'll let you take a long look at the dragon in my pants
And this the Chain Gang, we iced out
Keep it cold like winter
If you don't like what I'm saying
Put your face up on my spinner

Kenzo Suzuki:
You are wrong, Cena
Hiroko loves Kenzo
If you have girl problems
I feel bad for you, son
I've got 99 problems
But Hiroko aren't one
Take it, Hiroko

Hiroko:
Kenzo got me feeling so crazy right now
Kenzo got me feeling so crazy right now
Kenzo got me feeling so crazy right now
Crazy so crazy love

Cena tells "Yoko Ono" to break this up right now and says if they cover Jay-Z like that again, the King of New York will personally come kick their *BEEP* himself. The segment then goes from hilarious to pointless, as Cena promises that he has something we all want to see, even Kenzo, and brings out three Diva Search rejects: Lauren (very big eyes!), Rochelle, and Michelle. Kenzo seems to enjoy the women, making Hiroko jealous. Actually, Cena and Kenzo still make this pretty funny. Kenzo tries to hit on Michelle, and Hiroko puts a sleeper on her. Michelle throws Hiroko off, and Kenzo ambushes Cena, who fights back and knocks him out of the ring onto the ramp. Cena gets pissed and says if you don't start none, there won't be none, but if you want some, come get some. Cena was very fired up tonight, and that's the fire he needs to bring to his raps AND his matches to become a huge superstar.

Next week, Rey & RVD defend the Tag Title against Eddie & Booker, The Bashams, and Reigns & Jindrak in a fatal four way match. I just watched the fatal four way for that title from WM XX a couple of nights ago, so I'm not too excited about this one.

4.Doug Basham beat WWE Tag Team Champion Rob Van Dam (5:40) when Danny Basham (illegally subbing for Doug) pinned RVD after a chokebomb.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: With all the tag partners' antics, there wasn't much to this besides RVD's usual offense, with Doug not getting to do much at all. Not really very exciting and not much of a flow, but not really horrible, just kind of there, and unlike the opener, more build for Tag Title match than a match on its own.

Angle enters Amy's dressing room, then we go to commercial. When we get back from commercial, Angle is sitting in Amy's dressing room. Why is there a camera filming this? That makes no sense. That's a big problem with WWE's style of TV: They have cameras where there's no logical reason for them to be there. Anyway, Angle enters the bathroom, where someone is showering. He assumes it's Amy and strips to his undies. Angle has a pretty impressive package. But it's not Amy in the shower, it's Joy! She's not impressed by his package, as she screams for help and runs off. Angle tries to run too, but he trips with his pants down. He pulls his pants up as he finds Joy's boyfriend, Big Show. He zips up his pants and tries to explain the whole situation. Show chases him into the ring, and they brawl. Show takes out Reigns and Jindrak too, and Angle clocks him in the back with a chair. It does barely any damage, and Show punches the chair into Angle's face, thus getting the better of the brawl. If Angle is still looking for some sex, he should find Heidenreich.

We see footage moments ago of some of what happened in the previous segment and then go to JBL talking with Amy and OJ about what happened. He tells Amy he didn't realize she had her own private locker room and then takes off the "Amy Weber" sign to reveal a "Joy Giovanni" sign. He says she deserves her own locker room, because she's the best image consultant money can buy.

RAW Rebound: Edge def. Chris Jericho, Batista def. Chris Benoit (in a very impressive manner!), Batista makes a smart remark about not getting involved in HHH's match unless Orton really starts kicking his (censored) ass, and Orton def. HHH in a *** match that would be Match of the Week if it weren't for tonight's opener.

Heidenreich boxes with a wall when Heyman interrupts. Lucky for Heidenreich, since I'm sure that wall would have kicked his ass! Heyman tells Heidenreich if he wins the handicap match, he'll never have to worry about the casket match stipulation again, because if they win, they pick the stipulation. Heyman says if Long didn't book the match, he'd volunteer to fight by his side tonight, because he believes in him. Heidenreich tells Heyman he has nothing to worry about. Man, Heyman is awesome in this role, but he is SO wasted having to manage this stiff. I saw someone bring up the idea somewhere of bringing Rhyno to SD! to be in this role instead of Heidenreich, and that would have been a MUCH better idea, as Rhyno is big enough and intense enough to be a real threat, and he can actually wrestle.

5.Paul Heyman & Heidenreich vs. The Undertaker went to a no contest (about 6:30) when Undertaker locked Heyman into a casket.
Rating: 1/4*
Thoughts: In perhaps the biggest shocker of 2005 so far, the action between Taker and Heidenreich (before the Druids came with the caskets) was actually not bad at all, and in fact, it was getting to be a pretty good short match (which is the only type of match these two should ever wrestle with each other). The stuff after that with Heidenreich bailing and Heyman begging for mercy was pretty funny, and the tombstone on Heyman was pretty cool, although Taker should have at least pinned Heyman to give us an ending to the match. This wasn't bad at all, and in fact, it was pretty well done for what it was (although not much of a real match) and made the casket match at least a tiny bit interesting, although I'm sure it'll suck in the end.

This was actually a pretty good SD! to begin the new year, with nothing really bad, an awesome opener, and some entertaining stuff throughout. I can't really complain about this week's show, although I doubt SD! is really going in a great new direction, and the two matches announced for next week aren't really very exciting. Come to think of it, the matches announced for Royal Rumble aren't that exciting either. Still, fun show tonight, and Eddie vs. Rey in particular was awesome.

Quick Results:
1.WWE Tag Team Champion Rey Mysterio def. Eddie Guerrero (13:49 shown of 17:02) ***1/2
2.WWE Cruiserweight Title: Funaki (c) def. Akio (3:25) *1/4
3.Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle def. Brian Black (0:26) DUD
4.Doug Basham def. WWE Tag Team Champion Rob Van Dam (5:40) 1/2*
5.Paul Heyman & Heidenreich vs. The Undertaker went to a no contest (about 6:30) 1/4*
Average Match Rating: *1/10

Impact! 1/7/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-07T17:07:00.000-06:00

Earlier today, Jeff Hammond worked out with 3 Live Kru in the empty arena, and Michael Shane and Kazarian came out and had words with them. I guess Killings could be a good trainer, but who the hell would take wrestling lessons from BG James and Konnan?

In an interesting surprise, Christopher Daniels is a special colour commentator for today's X Division action! He faces Chris Sabin next week for a spot in the Ultimate X match at Final Resolution. Petey Williams will defend the X Division Title against AJ Styles and the winner of that match.

Little known fact: Chris Candido is a former NWA World Heavyweight Champion!

1.AJ Styles beat Chris Candido (5:17) with a Styles Clash.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: I was kind of expecting Candido to be washed up like Dustin Rhodes, but he looked very good here and held his own very well! He works a more basic and grounded style than most of the X Division, but he can bust out some good moves, such as that top rope atomic drop and legdrop, and he and Styles had a hot back and forth contest that showcased the energy of both men. Very good match, and I think they could go even better if they had more time and didn't have to just work a basic TV match.

Highlights of past Ultimate X matches and D'Amore and Williams talking about the match.

Traci tells Johnny Fairplay and Trinity to step into Dusty's "office" (the back of a truck). Trinity slips trying to get in and then is scared of a rope, thinking it's a snake. Traci reads a note from Dusty, which doesn't really say anything, then Trinity steals the note behind her back.

2.Non-Title: NWA-TNA X Division Champion Petey Williams beat Andy Douglas (3:53) with a rollup.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good fast-paced match, but not much to it due to the lack of length. It was interesting how they teased the Canadian Destroyer and then had Douglas counter the setup, and these two threw in some good stuff, but D'Amore on the outside ended up being too much of a distraction for so short of a match. The heel vs. heel aspect of this also hurt it, since it wasn't really possible for either man to play the face or heel. It's really hard for a lot of these guys to work a great match in so short of time, which, as I've said in the past, is why Impact! really needs two hours.

Douglas asks AMW about their upcoming match. Harris says Turning Point is over, and Team Canada is now on top of AMW's top ten wanted list. Storm says all the teams who stepped into the ring with them couldn't get the job done. It doesn't matter how many guys they bring, if they don't bring their A-game, they won't win. Storm promises that AMW will become the six time NWA World Tag Team Champions.

3.NWA World Tag Team Champion Bobby Roode beat Chris Sabin (2:58) with a Northern Lariat into a steel chair.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: More good fast-paced wrestling, but like often happens, this match had no time to develop into anything. Interesting ending with Daniels sliding into the chair and Roode hitting that nice Northern Lariat, slamming Sabin's face into the mat. These two showed some good stuff here, but it's regrettable that a lot of these matches just don't have time to develop into true competitive affairs.

Konnan throws out his catchphrases and talks about David Young's losing streak, saying it's going to continue today. He gives him the advice that he couldn't be a star even if he was thrown by a ninja.

4.Konnan beat David Young (2:06) with a K-Factor.
Rating: 1/4*
Thoughts: Total squash just showcasing Konnan's basic moves. 3LK is really over, so it's good to feature them, but David Young needs something better than this. He's a great wrestler, and I've seen him have awesome matches with AJ Styles in person.

DDP and Raven argue backstage about Erik Watts. Raven admits he has Watts wrapped around his finger, but Watts is right behind him. Watts drags Raven out to the arena! Watts hits Raven with a trash can and drop toeholds Raven into it, and then follows it up with the chokeslam.

Commercial for... somebody. "Empire Saint" Pat Kenney, maybe? They didn't say. Actually, I thought it was for a masked guy at first, but it ended up just being a face painted on his ring jacket.

Mike Tenay is in the ring talking about the triple threat elimination match between Monty Brown, DDP, and Kevin Nash, with the winner challenging Jeff Jarrett for the NWA World Title later that night. Tenay introduces Jarrett. Tenay says it's pretty obvious that the deck is stacked. Tenay says "Oh God, what I'd give for this" about Jarrett defending against Nash. I hope he was paid a huge bonus for that blatant lie. Jarrett says Dusty thinks he's come up with a plan to get the belt off him, but from Sting to Jeff Hardy, all the master plans have fallen by the wayside, because the King of the Mountain is still reigning supreme. Jarrett says let's talk about the three-way. What exactly does DDP bring to the table? The Diamond Cutter? Is that all he's got? The way he sees it, he's too caught up in his little schoolgirl games with Watts and Raven to concentrate on the title. And Monty Brown, the AA ballplayer. In the past, Monty made it to the Super Bowl, but when he stepped on Planet Jarrett, he was eaten alive. Tenay starts to get pissed, and Jarrett grabs the mic. He tells Nash he's talking directly to him. At Final Resolution, there will be no divide and conquer. The Kings of Wrestling are not going to fall to the little gameplan Dusty has cooked up. At TNA, there is only one way, and that's Jarrett's way. He's not asking Nash, he's telling him, get his head straight. DDP's music hits as Jarrett continues talking. Then Monty Brown's music hits. DDP and Jarrett are brawling, and Monty joins in. Then Kevin Nash and Scott Hall come in! Everyone is laid out, and Jarrett and Nash are nose to nose! DDP and Monty then take the opportunity to knock Jarrett and Nash out of the ring, and the agents come out to stop the brawl.

5.Dustin Rhodes & Jeff Hardy beat Kid Kash & Dallas (4:47) when Hardy used a swanton bomb on Dallas.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Pretty disjointed tag match, due largely to the suckiness of Dustin Rhodes, the fact that Dallas basically does nothing, and the total mismatch this was. Not much to this besides the decent stuff between Kash and Hardy. They should just match Kash and Hardy against each other rather than doing Kash vs. Dustin at the PPV. Disappointing main event after an afternoon of more exciting action.

Backstage, Jarrett yells at Nash to get his head in the game as we go off the air.

Decent show for the most part, although I still don't like how short a lot of the matches end up being. Having Christopher Daniels on commentary and showcasing some of the people who are or could be in the Ultimate X match was a nice touch that added kind of a theme to most of the show, although these matches weren't that great for scouting purposes because they were so short (besides Styles vs. Candido). There wasn't much exceptional to this show besides the very impressive opener, but it was still a decent afternoon of entertainment. However, they really need two hours to be able to go that extra mile and make the show as exciting as RAW. Otherwise, it'll be looked at as just a side thing and not something where you have to see the PPVs due to the anticipation. TNA also needs to drop some of the sucky guys like Dustin Rhodes and Kevin Nash (well, I guess they can keep Nash if he doesn't wrestle) and push the guys that matter, Styles, Daniels, Sabin, Raven, etc. But if they can make these changes, they have a lot of potential to do some pretty awesome stuff.

Quick Results:
1.AJ Styles def. Chris Candido (5:17) *3/4
2.Non-Title: NWA-TNA X Division Champion Petey Williams def. Andy Douglas (3:53) 3/4*
3.NWA World Tag Team Champion Bobby Roode def. Chris Sabin (2:58) 3/4*
4.Konnan def. David Young (2:06) 1/4*
5.Dustin Rhodes & Jeff Hardy def. Kid Kash & Dallas (4:47) 1/2*
Average Match Rating: 4/5*

DVD Review: WWE WrestleMania XX Disc 1

2005-01-06T04:34:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm finally getting around to starting the DVD reviews, so I figured I'd kick things off with possibly my favourite show of all time (though not necessarily the best show of all time), WrestleMania XX. I hold WM XX in very fond esteem mainly because of how much fun I had watching it live. 2004 was a very shitty year for me in many ways, and March 14 was one of the few days I truly got to enjoy life without all the bullshit. On that day, I wrestled The Law in a classic two out of three falls match for the MSW World Title, and we followed that up by watching this show together. The show was fun from top to bottom, but the main event was out of this world! We marked out so hard for that and were both on the edge of our seat from the drama, even hugging in response to the ending of the show. This is probably the most emotional response I've ever had to watching a wrestling show, but now it's time to sit down and watch it after all the marking out is over and answer the question: Is it still good the second time around? Will this show live up to the high praise I and so many others gave it? We're about to find out!

The Boys Choir of Harlem perform "America the Beautiful" to start things off patriotically, as we see various photographs representing America and footage of the troops, including some from SD!'s 2003 visit to Iraq. It's always nice to open the show in a traditional manner like this. Confetti rains down on everybody after the performance.

Video of Vince McMahon with an announcer talking about Vince's vision of WrestleMania changing the world and featuring highlights of past WrestleManias. We then go to footage of the wrestlers in some of the big matches talking about the history of MSG and their feelings about wrestling. HHH spitting water quickens the pace as the announcer talks about tonight being where it all begins again, ending with Vince and Shane holding Shane's baby. Awesome and emotional video, as WWE always loves to provide for WrestleMania.

We get to hear from all three sets of announcers (RAW, SD!, and Spanish) before Cena comes out to kick things off with our first match! Cena says we gonna kick this off right tonight! Now is WrestleMania here to represent? Then let him hear everybody make some noise! The fans chant Cena's name when he pauses. You got the Franchise Playa on the Super Bowl stage, so get that gorilla Big Show out of his cage! Ain't no way he'll lose to that King Kong ripoff! That's like Gary Coleman beating Patrick Ewing in a tipoff! Big Show's merely an ape with opposable thumbs, and he stuff his singlet, it's like he's smuggling plums! Yo, everybody knows you can't see me! He's itching to beat him like a penis with an STD! He's not even wrestling The Big Show, this whole thing's a charade! His match is with the hippo float from the Macy's parade! So it's time to get a championship to match his knucks, so MSG, chant Big Show sucks!

1.WWE United States Title: John Cena beat The Big Show (c) to win the title (9:12) with an FU.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Not really a very good actual match on the whole here, with Big Show being too slow and lumbering on offense and Cena not actually getting many moves in, but the basic "David vs. Goliath" story worked well, and the title win was all anyone really cared about in the first place. Great near fall with the FU and kickout, and pretty funny stuff when he threw the chain down to distract the ref and then clocked Big Show with the knucks. Great moment for the crowd and the fans at home with the very over Cena finally getting the gold. Even though this wasn't that good of a match, the anticipation of Cena winning the belt and the pop he got for it made it a good idea to put it up front to kick things off with a crowd-pleasing win. It actually probably would have been a bit better with a little less time, but it served its purpose as is, kind of a smaller scale version of Hogan vs. Andre. Plus the FUs on Big Show did look pretty cool.

Coach talks with Dr. Tom Pritchard and Johnny Stamboli backstage and gives Theodore Long a hug before knocking on Bischoff's door. Bischoff says he's been hearing rumours that Undertaker is in MSG, and he wants Coach to go find Undertaker. Coach says Undertaker is with SD!, and Bischoff says he does not want to get scooped with SD! Coach says he's not comfortable with that, and Bischoff tells him to get comfortable real quick and go find Undertaker.

Randy Orton is standing on a set of stairs with Batista and Flair, saying that it's ironic that this is where it all begins again. It was here at MSG that Orton established himself as a hardcore legend, kicking Foley down these very stairs, and we get footage of that from a RAW at MSG in June. But Foley couldn't let it end there. He had to come challenge Orton for the IC Title, only to realize he was overmatched. And what did he do? He walked away. We get clips of that from a RAW in December, of Foley just walking away from Orton. Then Foley decided he was angry and came back to challenge Orton again, only to have Orton spit right in his face. We see Orton spitting in Foley's face from RAW two months ago. Orton appreciates the fact that he's trying to hang on to some shred of what he once was, that he doesn't want to acknowledge that his time has passed, but it's just life. It's Evolution. They've proved it night after night, as we see an Evolution attack on Foley fro a RAW last month. Quite frankly, Evolution was getting a bit bored beating Foley up, so Foley decided to call Hollywood and call The Rock. So they beat him too. We see Evolution beating down The Rock and Foley last Monday on RAW. So it's the Rock 'n' Sock Connection vs. Evolution, and on the biggest stage of them all, they'll prove that Foley and Rock are has-beens, and it's Evolution's time now. Nothing will stop them from making history tonight. Tonight at WM XX, it all begins again. Good promo, with great use of the past footage, and it was an awesome idea to do it on the very stairwell that Orton kicked Foley down the stairs on. Orton displayed a sense of calm confidence in himself and related his match to the theme of the event very well, and all three members of Evolution looked great in their suits, with good facial expressions by everyone. The only downside was that it seemed that Orton memorized his promo rather than just saying what he felt (although WWE probably just handed him a script, since this was apparently pre-taped), which made it sound more like a commercial than Orton's usual emotional promos, but it still worked well with the video highlights and the stairwell setting.

2.World Tag Team Title: Booker T & Rob Van Dam (c) beat La Resistance (Rene Dupree & Rob Conway), Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak, and The Dudley Boyz (D-Von Dudley & Bubba Ray Dudley) (7:52) when RVD used a ***** frogsplash on Conway.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Boy, was this match ever useless. This had about as much cohesion as your average backyard wrestling match (and believe me, I know from personal experience), with everybody pretty much providing absolutely nothing. I barely even noticed Jindrak & Cade were in the match at all. The only purpose this served was to give Booker & RVD a victory, but it wasn't as effective as Cena's victory over Big Show, and all it was was total filler. This isn't the only clusterfuck four-way tag we'll be seeing tonight though! Why didn't they just do a non-title World Tag Champs vs. WWE Tag Champs match if they really wanted to get all the champs on the show? This belonged on RAW, not the biggest show of all time.

Coach looks for Undertaker backstage and asks some stage worker where some weird noises are coming from. He opens the door where they're coming from, and it's not Undertaker, but... Gene Okerlund! He comes out putting his jacket on, and Bobby Heenan also comes out, covered in lipstick! Coach asks about it, and Heenan claims they were playing cards. Coach says he wants to know what's going on, and Moolah and Mae Young come out! The guys act like they don't know what's going on, and Moolah and Mae start kissing Okerlund and Heenan! They drag them back into the room, as Coach walks away. Hilarious stuff, and Heenan is the man!

Video package highlights of the love triangle with Trish leading to Chris Jericho vs. Christian, including the infamous $1 (Canadian!) bet over nailing Trish. The idea behind the angle was very soap opera-ish, but looking back, all three of them acted it well, although I wasn't a big fan of the angle at the time. We see highlights of a Christian vs. Trish match from RAW, where Christian locks Trish in the Walls of Jericho. Christian claims he did it for Jericho. Trish ruined their life and their friendship! He calls it tough love, leading to Jericho confronting and brawling with Christian. This is one of those angles that's better in retrospect than while it's going on. And now it's time to blow it off with some great in-ring action! This is where the show really starts getting good.

In a nice touch, right as Christian is about to get in the ring, Jericho's music hits, taking Christian off his game a bit. Good psychology using the entrances like that.

3.Christian beat Chris Jericho (14:44) with a schoolboy.
Rating: ***3/4
Thoughts: Awesome fast-paced match with some sick moves and a ton of action! Jericho was intense, as he should be with Christian pissing him off that much in the months leading up to this. Christian played a great heel, getting increasingly frustrated and pulling various cheating moves throughout the match. Some good creative stuff here, ranging from the Texas Cloverleaf to the double arm suplex off the top rope to the SICK DDT by Christian! I especially loved the spot where Jericho held on the Walls of Jericho all the way to the outside. These two really worked well with each other here and told the story of their feelings toward each other within the match. The ending with Trish didn't really take away at all, as it worked very well with the angle they were doing. This would have gone into the **** range with a few more minutes but was definitely a great match as it stands.

After the match, Trish slaps Jericho, and Christian hits him with the Unprettier!

Lillian Garcia interviews Mick Foley about his first match in four years (technically, that was the Royal Rumble, not tonight's match). Foley says it's more than his first match in four years, it's WrestleMania, Madison Square Garden, the biggest night in the history of our sport! He talks about the match but is interrupted by The Rock, who says "Finally, The Rock has come back to New York City!" The Rock says finally, Mick Foley has come home! He tells Lillian not to look at The People's Package, the buffet is closed! He points out The Hurricane & Rosey backstage, and Jimmy Snuka & Don Muraco! He's pointing out everyone who knows it, and says the people know it! We are live in NYC, the people know it! The Rock says we're going to see the people and goes out to the crowd for a shot of the millions! Rock tells Foley to electrify as only they can and whup Evolution's candy asses, if you smellllll what The Rock... and Sock... is cooking! Totally electric promo by The Rock, and a great way to pump us up for the match, as it's next!

4.Evolution (WWE Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton, Ric Flair, & Batista) beat The Rock 'n' Sock Connection (Mick Foley & The Rock) (17:02) when Orton used an RKO on Foley.
Rating: ****1/4
Thoughts: Totally electric, action-packed match! Everyone was totally intense here (even Batista, despite not getting much to do), but The Rock and Ric Flair stole the show with their hilarious antics! But this match also had a serious edge to it and was very well done in that respect, with a lot of teasing of tags and endings, and everything done to make everybody end up looking good. There was just something in the air for this match that made it totally awesome, and it was capped off by a PERFECTLY timed ending, with Orton hitting the RKO out of nowhere! Just an incredibly hot tag match with some great established performers (Rock, Foley, and Flair), and demonstrating that Orton indeed had the skills to keep up. This was the first ****+ match of the night, but definitely not the last!

After the match, The Rock leads the crowd in a standing ovation for Foley.

Highlights of the 2004 Hall of Fame induction ceremony, featuring: Greg" The Hammer" Valentine, Don Muraco, Big John Studd, "Superstar" Billy Graham, Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, "The King" Harley Race, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan (who brought a tear to the eye by saying he wished Monsoon was there). A very deserving crew of inductees.

Gene Okerlund comes out and says we just saw that this weekend has been filled with terrific events, including the gigantic Hall of Fame ceremony last night in NYC, and he introduces the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2004!

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Some of us know him as The Weasel, now we know him as a Hall of Famer! He is one of the greatest broadcasters in the history of sports entertainment! I totally agree with Okerlund's words there. An awesome and hilarious man, and totally deserving of that honour.

Tito Santana: Two-time Intercontinental Champion and former Tag Team Champion.

Big John Studd: One of wrestling's greatest big men, who faced Andre the Giant in a classic match at WrestleMania I, represented by his son, John Minton, Jr.

"The King" Harley Race: Seven-time (actually eight-time) NWA World Heavyweight Champion and one of the toughest wrestlers in history.

Pete Rose: Baseball's all-time hit leader and the very first inductee into the celebrity wing of the Hall of Fame. He is the only member of this class that I feel is unworthy of the honour.

Don Muraco: His classic steel cage match with "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka at MSG over 20 years ago is one of the most memorable and significant matches in the history of wrestling.

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine: Second generation superstar, former US Champion, IC Champion, and Tag Team Champion! He is the son of the late Johnny Valentine, also a wrestling legend.

Junkyard Dog: His charisma made him one of the most beloved wrestlers in history. Represented by his daughter, Latoya Ritter.

"Superstar" Billy Graham: One of the most influential men in the history of wrestling (influencing Hulk Hogan, among others) and a former WWWF Champion.

Sgt. Slaughter: A former WWF Champion and a real American hero, one of the most recognizable superstars of all time.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura: Whether as a wrestler, broadcaster, mayor, governor, or Harvard political science professor, he always did it with class and style.

There we have it, the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2004! A very classy segment and a great way to honour some of the wrestlers who helped build wrestling up to this point and who helped make WrestleMania XX possible.

Commercial for the John Cena: Word Life DVD.

Sable says she knows this is supposed to be an evening gown match, but quite frankly, she's feeling a bit uncomfortable and a little restricted, so Torrie and she have decided they'd like to start the match with their dresses off, if it's okay with everybody. Sable asks referee Jack Doan to help her get the dress off and then struts her stuff. Jackie then helps Stacy take her dress off. She's wearing pink and black, but I doubt that's in honour of Bret Hart. Torrie takes her dress off, and Jackie refuses to take hers off. Sable slams Jackie into the ring, and the DUD begins!

5.Playboy Evening Gown Match: Sable & Torrie Wilson beat Miss Jackie & Stacy Keibler (2:33) when Torrie reversed a rollup by Jackie.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: The only surprise here is that this didn't end up being the worst match of the night.

Highlights of fans from other countries talking about being at WrestleMania XX.

Eddie Guerrero walks around with his WWE Title backstage and goes to greet Chris Benoit. Eddie tells Benoit to be careful with his pacing, or he might dig a trench. He says WM XX is only the biggest night, and Benoit says he knows. Eddie talks about all the years Benoit put into it, working out, time away from his family, and Benoit just says he knows. Eddie wants Benoit to know that no matter what happens tonight, he's proud of Benoit. Eddie says Benoit is taking on HBK and HHH in the biggest match of his career, and that nobody really expects Benoit to win or believes in him. Benoit shouts that he believes in himself, and that's all that matters. Tonight is Benoit's night because he believes. He's proud of Eddie winning the WWE Title, but tonight is his night. Eddie says to take it easy, and that's the fire he wanted to bring out in Benoit! The fire in his eyes is the Wolverine that Eddie took on every night in Japan and that will take HHH and HBK apart. Benoit says Eddie will walk out the WWE Champion, and he will walk out the World Champion.

Tony Chimel and an on-screen graphic run down the rules of the Cruiserweight Title gauntlet:
-2 superstars start in the ring.
-A superstar is eliminated by pinfall, submission, countout, or disqualification.
-The order of appearance was determined through a random drawing.
-The last superstar remaining will be the WWE Cruiserweight Champion.

Some skillful editing cuts out Ultimo Dragon's two trips in his entrance. Actually, the trip on the ramp is still visible, it's just a wider angle of the whole arena, but if you look on the ramp, you'll still see it. The trip climbing up the turnbuckles is totally cut out, however.

6.WWE Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero (c) beat Nunzio, Jamie Noble, Akio, Tajiri, Funaki, Shannon Moore, Ultimo Dragon, Billy Kidman, and Rey Mysterio (10:30) in an open gauntlet.
Eliminations:
Dragon beat Moore (1:19) with an Asai DDT
Noble beat Dragon (2:16) with a front choke
Noble beat Funaki (2:24) by reversing a crossbody
Noble beat Nunzio by countout (4:17) when Nunzio was unable to make it back into the ring
Kidman beat Noble (6:08) with a BK Bomb off the top rope
Mysterio beat Kidman (7:29) with a top rope sunset flip powerbomb
Mysterio beat Tajiri (8:37) with a rollup
Mysterio beat Akio by forfeit (8:37) when Akio was unable to enter due to Tajiri spitting mist in his eyes at 8:30
Chavo beat Rey (10:30) by counting a sunset flip attempt
Rating: **
Thoughts: Some good moves and fast-paced action here, but no substance. This may have been a good idea in theory, but the way they did it didn't allow anybody to really show off more than a couple of moves and didn't allow enough time for any individual matchups. The way they really should have gone was Rey Mysterio vs. Ultimo Dragon in a singles match, as that would be a WrestleMania type dream match. This match was as botched as Ultimo Dragon's entrance, with the eliminations being totally random, with no real thought put into them. The wrestlers worked hard and displayed some good athletic moves, but no one was really given any time to work with. This wasn't a bad match, but there was no opportunity for it to be a really good one, due to the booking and the stipulation. This would have been a good idea for an edition of SD! or maybe even a lesser PPV, but it doesn't work for the biggest show of all time.

King calls the Playboy Evening Gown match a "slobberknocker", saying he provided the slobber and the girls provided the... J.R. stops him there, as we go to a highlight video for Goldberg/Lesnar. Oh boy.

It starts off with Lesnar interrupting a Goldberg interview, bragging about how he'll retain the WWE Title at Royal Rumble. When it comes time for the Rumble, Goldberg eliminates a bunch of people, but Brock Lesnar comes in and F5s Goldberg, allowing Kurt Angle to eliminate him. Stone Cold gives Goldberg a front row ticket for Lesnar's title defense against Eddie Guerrero at No Way Out, and Goldberg spears Lesnar during the match, leading to Eddie winning Lesnar's WWE Title. Lesnar blames Goldberg for the loss and begs Vince for a match with him at WM XX. Vince is about to deny him the match, but Stone Cold comes out and demands the match happen. Vince agrees and names Austin the guest referee. Austin refs a Bischoff vs. Vince match, ending in Lesnar hitting Austin with an F5, after which Lesnar said he'd still be champion if Austin hadn't given Goldberg the ticket. Austin and Lesnar brawl on SD!, and Lesnar runs off when Austin is about to give him a stunner. And now it's time for the big match! Once again, oh boy. I don't think anyone was expecting it to turn out the way it did. But let's check it out!

7.Goldberg beat Brock Lesnar (13:43) with a jackhammer.
Special referee: Steve Austin
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Wow, what can I say? This match, built up as a huge "dream match", ended up being a huge "nobody gives a shit" match. Despite the crappiness of the match, it was also a classic, as the fans took an absolute SHIT on Lesnar and eventually Goldberg as well. Goldberg was at least trying a little bit here, but Lesnar just totally gave up as soon as he heard the "you sold out" chants, making for a hilarious match. The action did end up picking up a bit after about 72 years, but not enough to erase the monstronsity that was 90% of the match. Legendary for being the biggest disappointment in WrestleMania and probably wrestling history and for probably the biggest showing ever of the influence of the Internet fanbase. A must see, but only for the hilarious crowd.

Lesnar gives the double bird to the fans and Austin and gets a stunner. Goldberg then gets a stunner too.

Commercial for WrestleMania 21 in Los Angeles.

vince says that WrestleMania XX is where it all begins again, but without the fans, it may have never began in the first place. He thanks the fans on behalf of all the WWE superstars, past and present (except presumably Brock Lesnar), and the entire organization.

8.WWE Tag Team Title: Scotty 2 Hotty & Rikishi (c) beat The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team (Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin), A.P.A. (Bradshaw & Faarooq), and The Basham Brothers (Doug Basham & Danny Basham) (6:01) when Rikishi used a sitdown splash on Danny.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: A little better, more cohesive, and less clustered than the RAW version of this, but still pretty much just filler. Some nice double teaming by WGTT though, and this match worked a little better pacing-wise with some decent action. But they could have at least given WGTT the win here, since they really are the best out of these two. Actually, I would have given WGTT the belts before this and had them face RVD & Booker in a World Tag Champs vs. WWE Tag Champs match. I think that would be a pretty good match. But at least these filler tags are better than Goldberg vs. Lesnar was. That's not much of a compliment though.

Rikishi and Scotty dance to celebrate their win.

A graphic comes up on the screen saying the show continues on disc two, so that's where we'll pick up in the next review. It's been a mixed bag so far, with two very excellent matches (Christian vs. Jericho and Goldberg vs. Lesnar... nah, just kidding, Rock 'n' Sock vs. Evolution) and a decent cruiserweight gauntlet. We've gotten most of the filler and the total crap out of the way here, and Disc 2 is where it's really going to get awesome. Still, there's some great stuff on this one, and even Goldberg vs. Lesnar is entertaining, if only for the crowd reaction. The show so far isn't that far off from my initial thoughts about it. So we'll soon see if the rest of it lives up as well!

Impact! 1/4/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-05T18:54:00.000-06:00

This show actually aired in some Fox Sports Net markets on New Year's Eve, but it aired here on Southwest on January 4, so here is either the last TNA show of 2004, or the first TNA show of 2005, depending on where you are!

Video package highlights of Dusty Rhodes's announcement from last week, announcing Monty Brown vs. DDP vs. Kevin Nash (with the winner facing Jeff Jarrett for the NWA World Title later that night) at Final Resolution. I like the basic idea, but they could have picked better people than Monty and Nash (maybe Styles, Daniels, or even Raven). Actually, anybody would be better than Kevin Nash. Something like this really only works when all three people are people that the fans would want to see get the shot (kind of like the Taboo Tuesday voting with Benoit, Edge, and HBK). DDP is a good choice though, and the only good way to go is to have him win and get the shot.

Dusty is talking to Traci backstage, when Trinity comes up. Traci says goodbye to Dusty, and the women argue. Trinity says Traci thinks she knows what it takes to make it to the top. Traci says hard work, and Trinity says she's never done that, and that she's the top dog.

1.AJ Styles, Johnny B. Badd, & Sonny Siaki beat The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) & PrimeTime (5:51) when Badd used a Badd Move on Stevens.
Rating: *
Thoughts: This match started out well, with The Naturals playing good heels, isolating Styles in the corner and using good double teaming, and while it ended up getting a bit too clustered, still provided some good action. It probably would have been a bit better if they would have had Badd or Siaki play the "face in peril" with Styles getting the hot tag, since he has the best hot offense, plus he's the only one the fans really care that much about. It was interesting to see PrimeTime get so pissed off, and I can only hope this is building up to a future AJ Styles vs. PrimeTime match, as that would be awesome. Good formula tag match with some nice action, but a bit too clustered to be anything more than that.

Tenay talks with Piper, who will be at Final Resolution. Piper has been talking with Dusty, and although they have their differences, they have one common goal, to bring TNA to the top. Tenay says Dusty has fired Terry Funk from the title committee, and the new committee is Larry Z (I can never spell his name), Harley Race, and Roddy Piper. Piper says he'd like to be on that board. Tenay says that Dusty has also named Piper as TNA's enforcer, a special law and order referee when needed. Piper says someone had better reforce and provide recourse. When things get out of hand, someone's gonna get slapped upside the head, and who better to do it than Piper? There's a lot to be done, and a lot of people he'd love to slap upside the head. Tenay and Piper agree it will be a great 2005 for TNA.

2.Christopher Daniels beat Michael Shane (5:30) with a rollup from behind.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Very good for what it was, but too short to be any type of classic, and the antics with Kazarian and Traci distracted from having a straight match. Both men played their roles here well, with Daniels being an intense and focused wrestler, and Shane being arrogant and easily distracted. Some great mat wrestling at the beginning and great moves displayed after that, and I can only wish this would have been on PPV and at least three times as long. Still, Christopher Daniels is the man and needs a push ASAP. He brings a good focused style of wrestling and really needs to flourish in longer matches than this. Michael Shane is also a very talented wrestler, but again, Impact! just doesn't give him enough time to work his magic. This is the main reason why the show needs to be extended to two hours, so that matches like this can go for a bit longer and give the wrestlers more time to work with.

Hector Garza walks backstage and sees two sombreros and ponchos on a chair. When he passes, we see that it's Nash and Hall wearing them, and they nod to each other. Well, that was weird.

3.Dustin Rhodes beat Marco Cordova (1:22) with a Lone Star State of Mind.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: What exactly is the point of using all these washed-up ex-WCW wrestlers? If they really need somebody to push, look at the previous match for an example of who they should be giving the pushes to. Dustin just isn't interesting anymore without his Goldust gimmick, and this was a total squash, making it even less interesting. If they ever get to go to two hours, they also need to drop the useless squashes.

After the match, Kid Kash attacks Dustin Rhodes, but when Dustin is about to punch him, Kash bails.

Highlights from last week of DDP telling Erik Watts that he wouldn't understand about things like getting title shots because he's never gotten a title shot. There's another useless guy not worthy of getting a push, Erik Watts. Raven tells Watts that DDP is treating him like a lowlife piece of scum.

DDP says there's two reasons why DDP came back to pro wrestling and chose to come here to TNA: First, to get the chance to wear the gold again, to get the NWA World Title. And the second and most important, is to have fun! He loves hanging with the boys in the back and going and having a beer afterward. And there's nobody he'd love to do that with more than one of his best friends, Erik. He doesn't mean Eric Bischoff, but Erik Watts. He's asking Watts what happened and tells him to come out and get it face to face. He asks to hit his music and bring him out there. When Watts's music hits, Raven's Druids jump DDP in the ring, and DDP fights them off. He unmasks one Druid as Erik Watts and the other as Raven. DDP then hits the Diamond Cutter on Watts! Raven says that's the type of guy DDP is. He wants to solve things with Watts and the Diamond Cutters him. Raven would light DDP on fire just to light his cigarette. Raven accuses DDP of ruining Erik Watts's private life, and now his public life. DDP will pay! Maybe not now, maybe later, but soon, and for the rest of his life. Quote the Raven, nevermore! Good segment, and I'm liking Raven's mind games toward DDP.

I just now realized the point of putting Kevin Nash in that three-way match: because he's buddies with Jarrett, so it's an idea to try to pit two of the Kings of Wrestling against each other. I'd probably realize stuff like this sooner if I actually watched TNA on a regular basis (which I plan to start doing). Now it makes more sense, but they still should have used Hall instead of Nash, since Hall can actually wrestle. Well, I'm assuming he still can, as I haven't seen anything of him since he's come back besides the six-man tag at Turning Point.

The Kings of Wrestling come to the ring. Jarrett says Dusty thinks he's come up with the master gameplan to dethrone the King of the Mountain at Final Resolution. Dusty has his three-way dance, and Jarrett will take on the winner. He'll put DDP in the ring, Monty Brown in the ring, and Big Kev in the ring. He tells Dusty to stack the odds against Planet Jarrett, but he'll tell him one thing, Jeff Jarrett always, and he means always, puts on a KliniK... er, beats the odds! DDP will feel the bang all right. Jarrett will bang him right back into retirement! Uhhhh... I don't think he meant it the way it sounded. And Jarrett says he just ate Brown on Planet Jarrett. Tenay brings up that it was with the help of Nash and Hall. Brown comes out and says nobody wants to hear Jarrett's crap and calls him a blockhead. Heh heh. Blockhead. So why doesn't Jarrett do what Dusty told him to do and shut up? At Final Resolution, something will be finally resolved, and that will be Monty Brown becoming World Heavyweight Champion! No disrespect to Mr. Three Time Champ, DDP, or the Gray Goose, Kevin Nash, he's held titles everywhere he's gone, but that was then, and this is now! The Alpha Male will go through Kevin Nash and DDP, and just like all these people have been screaming for months, next World Champ, next World Champ! Well, this proves that TNA fans are stupid. The fans won't have to scream that anymore, because they'll be chanting the World Champ, the World Champ! Ronnie Garvin wishes he had these fans for his NWA World Title reign. He tells Jarrett to prepare for the Pounce!

Highlights of Hector Garza hitting Scott Hall with a guitar on Piper's Pit.

TNA continues to do the stupid idea of putting the Spanish announcer with the English announcers whenever Hector Garza wrestles. The language clash just does not work, maybe unless you understand both languages. And I was saying earlier how I hadn't seen much of Hall since he came back. Well, I'm getting my chance next, as it's Scott Hall vs. Hector Garza! In a hilarious bit of editing, Nash and Hall barely make it up the ramp before they fade to Garza's entrance. Are they so horrible now that their entrance isn't even TV quality?

4.Scott Hall beat Hector Garza (5:05) with a Razor's Edge off the top rope.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Hall is a bit slower than he used to be, but he's not bad. He hit his basic stuff here, but unfortunately, this match was too short, and Garza wasn't allowed to get much offense in. This was basically a squash, and I don't know why they went that direction with this, since they're supposedly wanting to make Garza into a star. Having him totally job like this isn't the way to do that. This was a decent match, but not competitive enough at all, and Nash didn't interfere enough to be able to use that as an excuse for Garza losing. Disappointing considering what I was expecting (a longer time limit makes you expect a longer match), and this match didn't do anything for the guy it should have done something for.

Piper comes out, and for some reason, they go to commercial as soon as he does. And then... show's over. Wow, what a great ending there! That was sarcasm, if you couldn't tell.

Decent show, but the main event ending so quickly and without Garza really doing much really hurt it a lot. And ending the show like that really makes no sense. Like I said, this show really needs to be two hours long, as Daniels/Shane could have been an awesome match with more time, and Hall/Garza really needed some time for Garza to look like a threat. Plus that Dustin squash was a waste of time. There was enough entertaining stuff here, but this really does not feel like the RAW-type big show that it should be for TNA. I think extending the time would go a long way toward helping that, but they also need some better booking. They need to dump some of the older wrestlers or bring them down the card and concentrate on the wrestlers who truly are the future, guys like Styles, Daniels, Shane, Sabin, PrimeTime, and all those. Impact! feels like Velocity or Heat, when it should feel like RAW to get fans excited for the PPVs.

Quick Results:
1.AJ Styles, Johnny B. Badd, & Sonny Siaki def. The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) & PrimeTime (5:51) *
2.Christopher Daniels def. Michael Shane (5:30) *1/2
3.Dustin Rhodes def. Marco Cordova (1:22) DUD
4.Scott Hall def. Hector Garza (5:05) 3/4*
Average Match Rating: 13/16*

RAW 1/3/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-04T00:44:00.000-06:00

The show kicks off with highlights of last week's "Beat the Clock" edition of RAW. That show went a long way toward improving the build to the Elimination Chamber match.

We see a shot of the World Title belt (finally without nameplate) and pan up to Bischoff holding it. He says that this Sunday at New Year's Revolution, RAW will crown a new World Champion. But before that, we have some business to take care of. Last week, all six participants played Beat the Clock. But this week, all six participants will have an opportunity to beat each other. Tonight, we'll see Chris Benoit vs. Batista, Edge vs. Chris Jericho, and (I guess this means this is no longer the WM XX main event) Triple H vs. Randy Orton. And we immediately kick off with Batista, the man who beat the clock, coming to the ring!

1.Batista beat Chris Benoit (7:06) with a sitdown powerbomb.
Rating: **
Thoughts: Well-paced back and forth match with a nice surprise ending, teasing a Benoit Crossface win, but having Batista power out of it, hit Benoit's head into the exposed turnbuckle four times, and hit a sitdown powerbomb. It really felt like Batista was totally pissed after the Crossface, and that's what he needs to bring to the table. Good intense match with some good moves displayed by both men, showcasing Batista's incredible strength and Benoit's tenacity and technical ability.

Flair excitedly talks to HHH about Batista's victory over Benoit. HHH doesn't look so impressed. Batista comes into the locker room, and Flair continues talking about how excited he is. He tells HHH that Batista will come out last, do the dirty work, powerbomb all four of them, and the World Title goes back around HHH's waist. HHH says he knows he can count on Batista. Batista says he can count on HHH to give him the $100 he owes him (from last week's bet over the Beat the Clock match). HHH tells Flair to give Batista $100. Batista says Flair didn't make the bet, so he doesn't want his money. HHH made the bet, and he wants his money. HHH pays up, and Batista says get a sense of humour, he was just kidding. Just awesome stuff by Batista.

Maria looks scared, since she has to interview Snitsky. But first, we go back to Taboo Tuesday, where Snitsky took out Kane. We then go live to Maria asking Snitsky how he feels about his match with Kane. Geez, the generic interview question. Snitsky says he's surprised. After what he did at Taboo Tuesday, he didn't think Kane would ever be back. He asks if Maria likes surprises and says he sure does. He says he bets she'd be surprised to know... and whispers something to her. She drops the mic and walks off, and Snitsky says he guesses she doesn't like surprises. He hopes Kane is watching, because he has a surprise for him too. It's something he's not going to like, something he brought upon himself. So tonight, what happens, it's not his fault!

Edge talks to Bischoff and asks why he's doing this to him. Bischoff says he thought Edge and Jericho would have a competitive match. Edge says that's not what he's talking about, he's talking about naming HBK the special referee. Edge says Bischoff knows he's not going to be objective. He cost HBK the World Title, so this isn't fair to him. Bischoff says when Edge speared HBK and cost him the World Title, he added six weeks to his recovery time, and for that six weeks, Bischoff had to pull HBK off RAW. Edge cost Bischoff revenue, and that's revenue he intended to make up by naming HBK the special referee. Rather than coming and taking his frustration out on Bischoff, Bischoff suggests he take it out on Chris Jericho, because their match is next.

2.Edge beat Chris Jericho (7:21 shown of 10:23) by countering a victory roll attempt.
Rating: **1/2
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 2:14 to 5:16.
Thoughts: Not as classic as some of their previous matches (mainly due to less time), but still a very good TV match, and you've gotta love the classic Bret/Owen WM X ending (with an added grab of the rope)! The match was structured very well, starting with Jericho having the advantage (with Edge playing the Flair-like tactic of getting beat up by the face and then finally taking advantage of a mistake), followed up by some nice armwork from Edge, which continued to be sold by Jericho throughout the match. Good solid competitive match, but I'd expect nothing less from wrestlers as talented as these two. Edge is really getting his heel intensity over in his matches, which adds a new dimension to the athleticism he already has.

Coach says tonight, we've already seen Batista beat Chris Benoit and Edge take out Chris Jericho. The question is will Randy Orton beat HHH? Orton answers by saying tonight is the first chance he's had to face HHH one-on-one since losing the World Title, the same title he will regain this Sunday in the Elimination Chamber. In 2004, HHH took everything Orton had away from him, and now he's going to return the favour. In 2005, he'll take everything HHH has away from him, and it all starts tonight, when he beats HHH 1-2-3 with an RKO. Nice look into the camera by Orton on that last sentence.

Shelton comes to the ring for a singles match with Grenier, but Maven comes out just as Shelton is getting in the ring. Maven distracts Shelton as La Resistance take advantage. Maven takes commentary as the match begins.

3.Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin beat Sylvain Grenier (3:10) with a T-bone suplex.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Solid short match, but nothing beyond basic going on here. It was pretty funny when Grenier fucked up the kip-up. I thought it was really botched, although I think it ended up just being something to make Grenier have to apologize to Conway so he could be distracted. If he really did fuck it up, they covered for it very well. This was pretty much just a squash though, although Maven's commentary was entertaining. Now that he's finally getting a personality, he should be much more interesting.

Video package detailing the Elimination Chamber.

Hassan and Daivari get ready backstage for their debate with J.R. and King.

It's debate time, so we'll finally see whether WWE is really going to do the right thing with this angle or not. J.R. & King are introduced first, followed by their opponents, Muhammad Hassan & Daivari.

Question #1: Do you feel that Arab-Americans have been unfairly persecuted in this country since 9/11?
Hassan: America... (interrupted by USA chants) As I was trying to say, please. America, at its core, is a racist nation. After all, this country was founded on slavery. And Arab-Americans have not only been discriminated against since 9/11, but before 9/11 as well. This goes way, way, way back. I remember a time in this country where people would at least pretend to be polite, even though, just like now, you can still see the underlying contempt in their eyes. But then 9/11 happened, and everything came out. You people used a national tragedy as an excuse, an excuse to let your real feeling towards Arab-Americans come through. And now you people feel like you have the right to openly express your discrimination without consequence and without reason. Don't deny it, because if we ran right up the road to Times Square for New Year's Eve, we would have been harassed, threatened, or even worse. And for what reason? Because we look differently than you? And it's the arrogance and intolerance of this country that we are the most hated nation in the world, and it is that intolerance and arrogance that is why you deserve it.
King: Look, hey, are there racists in this country? Are there? Absolutely. But I've got news for you, Hassan. There are racists and idiots in every country in the world. Now, if you think you've been treated unfairly, I don't have any problem with you coming out here and expressing that, but a few weeks ago, you came out here on national television, and you called our troops, that are putting their lives on the line every day for us, "gutless cowards". And that, Hassan, is unacceptable. Now I don't think these people hate you because you're Arab-American, because thankfully, most Arab-Americans aren't like you two. I'd be willing to bet that these people hate you two because you're a couple of loud-mouthed obnoxious jackasses!
Daivari: (shouting in Farsi)
King: You know it's true! Oh, you know it's true!
Hassan: Please, hold on, Lawler. You know what, you're right. Most Arab-Americans, they're not like us. In fact, most Arab-Americans make me sick!
Crowd: Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!
Hassan: You see, most Arab-Americans, they sit back quietly, and they take this abuse, and they try to hide their heritage instead of proudly displaying it like I do, because I, for one, will not embrace a racist nation. Ah, you disagree, J.R.? You disagree? For once, you've been quiet all night, and you're exactly the kind of person I've been talking about. You're a member of the media, you lead all these puppets, you tell them what to think, but deep down inside, it sickens you that I'm just as American as you are, that I'm just as American as apple pie, as Mickey Mantle, as your Oklahoma Sooners. Yeah, it pisses you off, doesn't it? It gets you hot, doesn't it, J.R.? But you're not going to do anything about it, because you're just like America. When your back is turned, you're all tough talk, but when we're face to face, you run off just like the coward you are! Isn't that true? Say it! I dare you! Say it!
J.R.: I've got something to say to you there, Muhammad. America's not a perfect place, but what country is? But when you unfairly characterize everyone in this country as being a racist, and when you badmouth our fighting men and women, as far as our country is concerned, you love it, or by God, you leave it!

Hassan throws down his podium and gets in J.R.'s face. He cheapshots J.R., and he and Daivari take out King. They then beat up J.R. some more, choking him with a belt. King takes off his own belt and gets back in the ring. He tries to swing at Hassan, but Hassan and Daivari back up the ramp. Ironic that they're running off when it gets face to face, isn't it?

I have mixed emotions about this whole thing. On the one hand, I'm glad they explicitly stated that all Arab-Americans are not like this, and that they don't all hate America. And on that same hand, it's interesting that they actually made Hassan & Daivari heels to Arab-Americans too, by stating they hate them too. On the other hand, something about all this just doesn't sit right with me. I'm not really offended, but I don't know if this whole thing is having the intended effect. It was pretty obvious that this debate would become physical though, so no surprises here. I think they're probably going the best way they can with this though, painting these two as individual assholes and making sure not to paint all Arab-Americans that way. In that respect, this debate worked. A debate on a wrestling show isn't really the most exciting thing though. But the post-debate attack was great to put them over as cowardly heels. So I guess we'll see what ends up happening when Hassan starts getting in the ring.

Coach takes the commentary table to replace J.R. and King, as we see highlights of the post-debate attack.

4.Trish Stratus beat Victoria (3:10) with a Chick Kick.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Pretty much a total squash, unlike the more competitive match they had last night on Heat. Not bad, but nowhere near the level of their Heat match, especially since Victoria barely got to do anything. Nice intensity from Trish though, but this was more to set up the post-match angle and PPV buildup than a match on its own. I guess Molly isn't the only women's jobber now! It's a shame when half the women who actually wrestle are just used as jobbers.

Trish tells Lita to take a good look, because that is exactly what she's in for at New Year's Revolution. All her hard work, putting her neck on the line, is going to be all over just like that, when she beats her and breaks yet another recording, becoming the six time Women's Champion. Lita comes out and slaps Trish. They have a brawl that's almost more competitive than the actual match we just saw, but Kane's flames hit. Lita is distracted for a moment but puts Trish in the rare naked choke. And Snitsky is here! Lita slaps him when he grabs her, distracting her for a Chick Kick from Trish. Snitsky grabs a chair and puts it around Lita's neck like he did to Kane. But before he can do anything, Kane returns! They brawl on the ramp, and Snitsky escapes through the crowd.

Highlights of the Elimination Chamber match from SummerSlam 2003. Now that I think about it, I think that video earlier tonight was just from the first match from Survivor Series 2002. I didn't realize that at the time though. This match is notable for being Randy Orton's first ever PPV main event.

Coach announces that Bischoff has booked Jerry Lawler vs. Muhammad Hassan for New Year's Revolution.

Rundown of the New Year's Revolution card:
-Jerry Lawler vs. Muhammad Hassan
-Kane vs. Gene Snitsky
-WWE Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Maven
-WWE Women's Title: Lita (c) vs. Trish Stratus
-World Tag Team Title: Eugene & William Regal (c) vs. Christian & Tyson Tomko
-World Heavyweight Title Elimination Chamber Match (special referee Shawn Michaels): Batista (entering last) vs. Triple H vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge

We get the way-overdone setup of a photographer taking pictures of Christy, as Eugene comes up to her and tells her how pretty her red hair she is. He compares her hair to Lindsay Lohan. Eugene is listening to her CD. Christy asks him to sing her a song. He does! I think the next WWE CD should be entirely sung by Eugene. Regal tells Eugene he has a match against Christian next and that Christian & Tomko are dead set on winning the Tag Title. Christy offers to help motivate Eugene. Regal puts Eugene's headphones on and jams to his music... AND SINGS!!! Christy and Eugene catch him in the act. Okay, I guess Regal can do a guest song or two on Eugene's CD. Hilarious stuff. I wonder if Josh Matthews sings along to Lohan's songs too.

79% of RAW Interactive fans think Orton will defeat HHH. Only 21% think HHH will emerge victorious. What, no option for "double countout"?

Christian's theme is fucking awesome. I simply have to say that. I think Regal and Eugene should sing a new version of it for him though. Gotta love Christian's fucking awesome attire too. I seriously think Christian should win the Royal Rumble in a big upset.

5.Christian beat World Tag Team Champion Eugene (3:45) by reversing a sunset flip attempt.
Rating: *1/4
Thoughts: Fun match, but too short to really amount to much. Gotta love Eugene's Ultimate Warrior impression, as well as busting out the double chickenwing! I haven't seen that move in quite a long time. Good stuff at the end with the rollups, and this type of ending is useful in a match like this to cause question as to who really would win, since this is just setting up the PPV match. Christian is always pretty fun too, though he didn't really have much time to get in any of his stuff after letting Eugene entertain for a while.

Flair pumps HHH up for his match with Orton, and he says he and Batista will be out there tonight to cover his back. HHH says he's cool with Flair, but he'll have Batista hang back. In the Elimination Chamber, he has to beat four guys to become World Champion, so he needs Batista backing him up, but tonight, it's just one guy, and he's going to show the world that Orton was nothing but a tag-along the whole time. Flair has always known HHH is the man, he doesn't need anybody, and he's going to be the World Champion again. Batista says he'll just hang back there and watch HHH do his thing... unless Orton really starts kicking HHH's ass. But we know that's not going to happen! HHH isn't happy about Batista's "joke".

J.R. is back, baby! He's looking forward to being in King's corner on Sunday. But now, it's time for the main event! I guess it's HHH vs. Batista at WM XX! Although I still think Christian should win the Royal Rumble. If the Royal Rumble was a "best entrance" contest, he'd sure win!

In a nice touch, Orton has a different facial expression than usual for his entrance, more serious and looking like he's going to take care of business here, rather than show off. This is one of those things that's really great about Orton and really adds a lot to his matches.

6.Randy Orton beat Triple H (13:41 shown of 16:43) with an RKO.
Rating: ***
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 2:33 to 5:35.
Thoughts: Great match between these two, really reflecting the various emotions surrounding their personal feud as well as the Elimination Chamber. Very good structure, with Orton starting out on fire, but HHH getting the advantage with that brutal toss into the security wall. Great focus by HHH working on Orton's abdomen after that (although I'm surprised he didn't go for the abdominal stretch). Orton had a nice, realistic, adrenaline-powered comeback and still sold the abdomen for a bit after that. The ref bump was done in a unique way too, as I've never seen it done quite like that before. And surprisingly, the brawl between everyone didn't really affect the match itself. Great ending too, with HHH arguing with HBK, leading to a teased RKO, near fall rollup, and finally the RKO for real (after HHH ducked it several times)! Very well done match from these two, as I expected, although they couldn't go all out due to TV limitations and the upcoming PPV match. Nevertheless, great main event to cap off the first RAW of 2005!

Pretty good RAW to start off the year, with three great TV matches, plus some other good stuff, including that hilarious segment with Regal and Eugene. They set up the PPV nicely, and it does indeed look like they're definitely moving toward HHH vs. Batista for WM XX. That should be an interesting feud, and I hope Batista continues to improve in the ring to get ready for that match. Honestly, I don't think he's WrestleMania main event level yet, but he has three months to step up his game, and with HHH and Flair around to help him, I think he can do it. I still prefer Orton to Batista, but I'll give Batista a chance and hope he can pull it off if he does indeed become World Champion within the next few months. At least he should be better than JBL.

Quick Results:
1.Batista def. Chris Benoit (7:06) **
2.Edge def. Chris Jericho (7:21 shown of 10:23) **1/2
3.Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin def. Sylvain Grenier (3:10) 1/2*
4.Trish Stratus def. Victoria (3:10) 1/2*
5.Christian def. World Tag Team Champion Eugene (3:45) *1/4
6.Randy Orton def. Triple H (13:41 shown of 16:43) ***
Average Match Rating: *5/8

Heat 1/2/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-02T19:11:00.000-06:00

Well, we saw Velocity last night, and now it's time for RAW to kick off their 2005 shows! Although this weekend's shows were technically taped in 2004, probably making tomorrow night's RAW the true first show of 2005. But Ric Flair will be in action tonight, so who cares? That's going to be fucking awesome! Wooooooooo!

1.Trish Stratus beat Victoria (4:21) with a Chick Kick.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Excellent women's match and a great hot opener! This was different than most women's matches, with some good slugfests and more of a brawling feel to it. The intensity between both ladies was top notch, and they pulled off some good moves, including Trish's hurricanrana counter to Victoria's sideslam. This match got especially good when it heated up toward the end with some great stuff showcased. Trish is really showing how pissed she should be about losing the Women's Title. With Trish on top of her game in matches like this, her rematch with Lita could rival the RAW title change!

2.The Hurricane beat Robert Conway (5:00) with an Eye of the Hurricane.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Geez, was there something in the water at the arena when they taped these matches? If so, WWE really needs to serve it more often. A totally hot, fast-paced, action-packed match, with Hurricane bringing his good stuff, and Conway more than keeping up. Nice focus on Hurricane's neck by Conway, and they had a good sequence at the end teasing finishers. I think Conway has a lot of potential as a singles wrestler if they ever decide to go in that direction with him. He's focused, and he takes care of business. And The Hurricane has really been pumping it up as of late as well, with this match and his RAW match against Simon Dean. I expected a solid match but got more than that.

Highlights of Stacy Keibler being interrupted by Mohammed Hassan & Khosrow Daivari from RAW. Hassan and Daivari both have excellent mic skills, and as long as WWE doesn't make them go toward the 9/11 stuff they were doing earlier, they could really take this gimmick far. I hope Hassan's intensity in the ring matches his intensity on the mic. He needs to wrestle with anger and ferocity. Plus he needs to drink the water that Trish, Victoria, Hurricane, and Conway drank tonight (well, Monday night). But seriously, I'm looking forward to hearing more from him. I just hope they don't regress back toward the offensive stuff in the debate tomorrow. These guys are EXCELLENT on the mic. They talk like they really feel what they're saying, which is the mark of a great promo.

WrestleMania Recall: Andre the Giant's interview at WrestleMania IV. Why do they always play this?

3.Tyson Tomko beat World Tag Team Champion William Regal (4:31) with a big boot.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Tomko apparently wasn't thirsty. His pathetic attempt at technical wrestling was pretty hilarious though. This match was shit until Regal finally got on offense with that Steamboat-like series of quick shoulderblocks and that awesome series of covers where he just kept shoving Tomko's shoulders down to the mat. That still wasn't enough to overcome the horrendous monstrosity that is Tyson Tomko's lack of wrestling skills.

Video package highlights of the Beat the Clock edition of RAW. That was a pretty damn awesome idea that was executed excellently. It was awesome when Batista stood up to HHH too. I can't wait to see where they go with this HHH/Batista stuff.

4.Ric Flair beat Val Venis (6:27) with a figure four leglock.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Not an all-time classic or anything, but a good old fashioned Nature Boy matchup! Flair's timing is perfect as usual, and he knows how to entertain the fans with his signature spots. Val didn't get a chance to bring as much of his offense as he usually does, and this match should have been given a few more minutes to give Val a good long period on offense, but this match was a lot of fun, and it was interesting to see Val's growing frustration with being unable to take down the legend. This match would probably have hit *3/4 or even ** if it had been more competitive and a bit longer, as I stated above, but it was a very well-done match for what it was. I did love the ending with Flair sneaking in the chopblock after Val did the punches in the corner. Overall, definitely a great main event to cap off a great Heat!

What can I say about this show that I haven't already said? Three great matches and only one bad one. Definitely much better than Velocity last night, and I hope that this show is more indicative of where WWE is going in 2005. Although SD! does suck and RAW is usually pretty good, so that's no shock. Nevertheless, a great night of action here tonight. And yes, it is weird that I rated the three good matches the exact same rating. I'm glad you noticed.

Quick Results:
1.Trish Stratus def. Victoria (4:21) *1/2
2.The Hurricane def. Robert Conway (5:00) *1/2
3.Tyson Tomko def. World Tag Team Champion William Regal (4:31) 1/2*
4.Ric Flair def. Val Venis (6:27) *1/2
Average Match Rating: *1/4

Velocity 1/1/05 Results and Thoughts

2005-01-01T23:13:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the first blog post and the first review of 2005! In a bit of interesting news before the show starts, in the hour before Velocity, I moved a bookshelf next to my computer and arranged all my wrestling DVDs in it. So now it will be easier to pick DVDs from there to review for you! Also, in what I consider to be total and utter bullshit, I only work one day next week, which means I'll have a paycheck tinier than JBL's penis. But looking on the bright side (as I should in 2005), that gives me almost a whole week of rest, as well as time to get some DVDs done! So sit tight and hang on for a full year of great reviews, starting with tonight's Velocity!

Torrie Wilson makes her way to the ring, I guess to be ring announcer, which is the only thing she does on this show. She has great legs. She says on behalf of everyone in WWE, she wants to wish all of us a happy New Year! She asks if anyone wants to party with her. If we thought 2004 was hot (it wasn't), wait until you see what they cook up for 2005. Kenzo Suzuki is the first man to come to the ring. If this is what we can expect, I'm afraid for 2005. We see a pic of Hiroko from the bra and panties match (which wasn't even an official match) from the back of some Japanese newspaper. But then THE MAN, Paul London, comes out, so it's not looking all bad for 2005... at least until London jobs to Kenzo. Can he pull off the upset? He could if the bookers had any sense...

1.Kenzo Suzuki beat Paul London (4:29) with a claw STO.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: London worked his ass off here to make Kenzo look good, with some excellent selling here, but he didn't get a chance to mount much offense, and Kenzo was on offense most of the time, which, as we all know, sucks. Kenzo was pretty damn boring here, and it's a shame they had to saddle London with him. Crappy match, but not at all London's fault, as he tried his best, but his excellent selling could have been used much better. Maybe instead of tying the useless anchor named Hardcore Holly around Charlie Haas's neck, they could have put Haas against London tonight. That would have been a lot better of a match. I doubt this will be the last time that THE MAN does the job for a much less talented guy on Velocity.

Graphic for Holly & Haas vs. Jindrak & Reigns later tonight. Reigns gets his name covered up by the Spike TV logo! Maybe he should start wrestling as Spike TV and feud with Spike Dudley over who's the real Spike.

Steve Romero claims "SmackDown! had a tremendous 2004." The FCC should fine him for blatant lying like that.

Video package highlights of John Cena's rap and US Title defense against Rene Dupree from SD! Man, they sure are turning all the good wrestlers on this show into jobbers. Actually, this is a video package for the entire "Night of Champions", as we also see highlights of Funaki vs. Spike Dudley and Rey & RVD vs. Booker & Eddie. That was a pretty damn good match (clocking in at ***1/4). Even though the Tag Title match was the main event, this video package ends with highlights of the JBL vs. Shannon Moore WWE Title match. I don't know why they'd need to clip that one, as it was less than 30 seconds to begin with. Long's announcement of JBL vs. Angle vs. Show for the WWE Title at Royal Rumble sends us off. I feel bad for Angle, having to carry both of those guys. At least he's not facing Daniel Puder in another shoot match!

Royal Rumble commercial ripping off West Side Story. The wrestlers singing that song really needs to be the official PPV theme.

2.Chavo Guerrero beat Billy Kidman (5:27) with a kick to the back of the head.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Good, solid, competitive match between these two. Not as good as their previous Velocity encounter (but not as long either), and it didn't seem as personal, with more basic action than any specific story being told, but the wrestling was nice back and forth stuff. They were going toward the end nicely with Kidman hitting the SSP, but what the fuck was up with Chavo beating Kidman with a fucking kick? I don't know if it was a botched finish (with Chavo supposed to just roll Kidman over after the missed SSP) or what. Chavo should have rolled him up with an Oklahoma roll or something to make it convincing. Still, despite that weird ending, these two gave a good solid Velocity performance here, though not really above average for these two.

WrestleMania Recall: Shawn Michaels wins the WWF Title from Bret Hart at WrestleMania XII in one of my favourite matches of all time.

Highlights of Heidenreich being interrupted by The Undertaker in a casket, setting up The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a casket match at Royal Rumble. Hopefully that casket symbolizes the death of Heidenreich's career after that match. A PPV match graphic confirms the casket match stipulation.

Rundown of the Royal Rumble card:
-Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich
-WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) vs. The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle
And despite not having a graphic yet, obviously the Royal Rumble match will take place, featuring one known participant, Daniel Puder.

It looks like Holly & Haas vs. Jindrak & Reigns is going to get about 15 minutes. Why the hell did they give that crappy tag match 15 and Kidman vs. Chavo only 5½? It would make a lot more sense to have done it the other way around.

3.Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak beat Charlie Haas & Hardcore Holly (8:39 shown of 12:36) when Jindrak pinned Haas after Reigns snapped the back of Haas's neck against the ring rope.
Rating: *
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 4:19 to 8:16.
Thoughts: Surprisingly better than decent formula tag match, not bad at all, but not overly exciting either. Decent basic pace with some good action at times, peaking when Haas got the hot tag and hit his great German and exploder suplexes. Holly & Haas are obviously just a randomly thrown together team with no real chemistry, and they really need to let Haas go out on his own as a singles star. He certainly has the talent. Reigns & Jindrak make a good team, but they would be better if they didn't do so many chinlocks like they did in this match. Overall, not a bad match at all, and actually not really boring, so a good enough main event for Velocity.

Overall, an average Velocity to kick off the new year, with a bad opener followed up by a good cruiserweight match and a decent main event. It would have been much better if, as I mentioned above, they would have swapped the lengths of the last two matches, but as it stands, this was a pretty solid night of action if you don't count the opener (although London gave it his best). This edition of Velocity really shows two guys who deserve to be pushed much higher than they are now: Paul London and Charlie Haas. London should be going for the Cruiserweight Title (they should have had him win it from Funaki on SD! instead of just doing a rematch with Spike), and Haas should either be a singles wrestler chasing after the US Title, or possibly teaming with Rene Dupree. Hopefully 2005 is better than the booking for tonight's show makes me think.

Quick Results (New feature for TV/PPV reviews!):
1.Kenzo Suzuki def. Paul London (4:29) 1/2*
2.Chavo Guerrero def. Billy Kidman (5:27) *1/2
3.Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak def. Charlie Haas & Hardcore Holly (8:39 shown of 12:36) *
Average Match Rating: *

Starrcade Situation Resolved

2004-12-30T23:18:00.000-06:00

Click here to go to MSW's News section for an announcement that resolves the Starrcade situation.

SmackDown! 12/30/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-30T21:08:00.000-06:00

Theodore Long would like to thank us for our support all year long by bringing us the biggest SD! of the year, the Night of Champions! Each champion defends his title against an opponent of his choice. Cena defends the US Title, Rey & RVD defend the Tag Title, Funaki defends the Cruiserweight Title, and JBL defends the WWE Title! 2005 is going to be even better! In fact, it's gonna be crackin'! Holla back, playa!

John Cena comes to the ring with his awesome spinning belt! 2005 is coming, man! It's a new year, and your calendar's gonna change, but the champ is still here! Now he's going to let us in on his New Year's resolution. Tonight, we gonna change this game, we gonna start a revolution! Or a Theszolution. From this point on, there's no such thing as a John Cena fan. If you ride with him, you ridin' with the Chain Gang, man! And as much of a franchise as he claims to be, if we in the Chain Gang, that means we the same as him! We all fight together, we all ride together, and right now, we gonna get live together! We keep this whole city gritty, man, we running the scene! If you don't quite get it yet, let him show you what he means. He leaves the ring and goes into the crowd, celebrating with the Chain Gang! I think if they keep going with this stuff, it could help push Cena up to the top. So tonight is champion's choice, and it don't matter who we choose, whoever step up gettin' spun like 22s! Rene Dupree comes out and says to let him make the decision for him. His opponent is going to be the French Phenom, Rene Dupree, our next US Champion!

1.WWE United States Title: John Cena (c) beat Rene Dupree (3:59) with an FU.
Rating: *1/4
Thoughts: Good energetic match, but too short and ended up being basically a squash. Dupree really needs to get more offense in matches like this to show him as a competitor. Dupree sold well as usual and snuck in the good ol' French Tickler! Cena is a very energetic wrestler and showed a little improvement in technique here. If he works on his in-ring technique, he can add that to his energy and intensity and be a wrestler worthy of the WWE Title. Dupree has the talent too, he just needs a better push and not to be used as a jobber in matches like this.

Amy tells JBL that she has it taken care of and that it's a great idea. I assume they're talking about JBL's choice of opponent. Amy comes across Joy and asks her if she had a nice holiday. She runs down Joy's looks and accuses her of gaining weight. Joy says she knows what Amy ate for Christmas dinner. She doesn't give the obvious answer, saying turkey and throwing some insults of her own. JBL gets in Joy's face, demanding she watch her language. Then Big Show gets in JBL's face, telling JBL not to threaten Joy. JBL doesn't want to look at Big Show. Big Show asks if he's trying to run, and JBL says he doesn't run from anybody. Big Show tells him to put the WWE Title on the line tonight against him. Big Show asks if Joy is okay.

Kurt Angle says that with tonight being the night of champions, he would like to address our WWE Champion, JBL. He knows we don't like JBL, but that's because we don't know him like he does. JBL is generous to a fault. He loves children, he's kind to animals, and he may very well be the fightingest WWE Champion of all time. And JBL, the fight that these people want to see tonight is between Angle and JBL. He knows JBL never backs down to a challenge, so when he chooses his opponent tonight, he wants him to choose Kurt Angle, Olympic gold medalist, because he deserves to be the #1 contender and to prove it again, he will hold the next chapter in the Kurt Angle Invitational. Angle asks the guy's name, and he responds Matt Stryker(!!!) He's from right here in New Orleans, LA!

2.Kurt Angle Invitational Match: Kurt Angle beat Matt Stryker (0:55) with an ankle lock.
Rating: 1/4*
Thoughts: Another total owning by Kurt Angle! For those of you who don't know, Matt Stryker is a well-known indy wrestler, wrestling in feds such as ROH, and I think TNA at one point. This squash was pretty fun, but not much to it, obviously.

Rey and RVD discuss the ideas of who they can defend the title against. RVD offers the idea of Moolah & Mae. Booker and Eddie come and wish them a Happy New Year. They ask Rey & RVD to help them out with a small problem. Eddie says JBL is scared to face them, but they know Rey & RVD are fighting champions. They ask for a title shot. Rey says he didn't have them in mind, but he says now that they mentioned it, they're going to think about it. Booker says he and Eddie will think about something too, the frogsplash, the scissors kick, the spinaroonie, and the 1-2-3! Booker tells Eddie to picture the new WWE Tag Team Champions, Booker T & Eddie Guerrero! Eddie argues, saying it should be Eddie Guerrero & Booker T. They decide to ask the champs, who have disappeared. They wonder if they still get the shot.

Highlights of Undertaker vs. Heidenreich from last week in Iraq, with Undertaker winning by countout when Heidenreich bailed like he did against Haas. Long has made Heidenreich vs. Undertaker for Royal Rumble, with Undertaker allowed to choose what kind of match it will be.

Daniel Puder introduces himself to the guys backstage. He moves Hardcore Holly's stuff out of the way, prompting Holly to complain. Puder says he trained eight weeks, and Holly says the guys in the locker room have trained a lot longer. Holly himself has given 11 years of blood, sweat, and broken bones. Puder laughs at it and asks if Holly's ever been in the main event of WrestleMania. Puder has his spot in the Rumble, and after he wins, he's going to be the main event of WrestleMania. Holly stares him down and tells him he's got a lot to learn. Puder scoffs at that after Holly leaves. I think this is a great character for Puder.

Long talks with some chick when JBL and his crew interrupt. JBL thanks Long for his brilliant concept, letting the champions choose who they face. Long asks JBL who he's going to defend the title against. JBL says to prove he's the greatest champion of all time, he's going to make his pick randomly. Long asks him what he means. JBL brings out a fishbowl with the name of every superstar on the roster, John Cena, Undertaker, and even Big Show. He will pick a name out of there. Long says if that's how he wants it, it's all good. JBL picks, looks at it, and says he'll pick again. Long says if JBL is the real champion he claims to be, he'll defend against whoever he drew. JBL says he's a fighting champion, and he'll always find a way to persevere, and he'll do it again tonight. Long wishes him luck. We don't find out who he actually drew. I'm expecting some jobber like Shannon Moore, with JBL pulling a swerve.

I KNEW IT!!! SHANNON MOORE! JBL attacks him viciously before he can even get in the ring.

3.WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) beat Shannon Moore (0:22) with a Clothesline From Hell.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Geez, they could have at least made it look like Moore had a chance. Have Moore surprise JBL by hitting some good offense and doing his best, but falling to JBL in the end. This is more like Night of Squashes than Night of Champions.

Long comes out, and for some reason we go to commercial.

When we get back, Long says if JBL is the fighting champion he claims to be, he wants to look at the bowl. JBL says he is a fighting champion, and Long has put him through more hell than anybody else on the roster, and now he comes down after all that, when he is still WWE Champion, and he has the audacity to challenge his integrity, nobody challenges JBL's integrity! He put every name in that fishbowl. It came up Shannon Moore. Luck of the draw, pal! You know, they did this EXACT angle last year with Brock Lesnar. The opponent (Shannon Moore) was even the same! While Long is about to look in the bowl, Joy attacks Amy. The referee has the women both escorted out, and Long sees that every slip of paper says Shannon Moore. Geez, the WWE writers really need to get some new material. As I said, they did this EXACT thing last year. Long says he tried to play the fans, but the fans aren't gullible! He wants an explanation, and he wants it now. JBL says Long has this all wrong. He can't apologize enough for what happened, and he didn't know. He ordered OJ to put the names in the bowl and claims to have had nothing to do with it. OJ backs him up. Long says he's heard enough. Tonight, it was JBL's choice who to face, but at Royal Rumble, it's Long's choice. JBL demands Long quit trying to screw him. Long announces JBL vs. Kurt Angle! This brings Angle out. He thanks Long for doing what's right for business. What he needs is a champion who's a role model, someone who won't deceive the public, and that man is Angle. And after all the nice things he said about JBL, he takes them back! JBL lied to the people! JBL says he didn't lie to anyone. That's not his fault (that's Snitsky's phrase!) Angle says listen, bucko! He doesn't want to hear... and the fans chant "bucko" at JBL! He doesn't want to hear any excuses. JBL took the easy way out by picking on someone smaller than him. JBL says that's what Angle does every week, and Angle says it's not. Uh, yeah it is, and you throw cheapshots at your opponents before the match, Kurt. Long says they didn't let Long finish his announcement. It won't be a one on one match, but what it will be is a triple threat match for the WWE Title: JBL vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show! This brings Big Show out. Everyone bails from the ring when Big Show gets in it. Big Show poses as we go to commercial.

Josh Matthews interviews Carlito backstage, who demanded the time. Carlito says Josh isn't cool. He demanded the time because he has a New Year's resolution the entire world should hear, and it involves Long. Long has continued to make unfair decisions. He reminds us that he forced Carlito to wrestle Cena injured and lose his US Title, also injuring himself a little more. Tonight, he made another unfair decision, forcing JBL to defend the WWE Title against Kurt Angle and The Big Show. That's not right. Everyone else in the back is afraid to stand up to the boss. But Carlito's not. Carlito's going to stand up for them. His New Year's resolution for 2005 is that Long will be finished as GM. That would be cool. He bites his apple and teases spitting it in Josh's face. Josh talks about Carlito's ominous words, and Carlito spits the apple in his face anyway.

Heidenreich comes out with a pretty cool entrance, with weird green lighting in the arena. It looks kind of like Velocity, which is where Heidenreich should be. Heidenreich says he is not afraid of The Undertaker. He cost Undertaker the WWE Title twice. He stared into the face of death and came back for more. Who here tonight thinks Heidenreich has fear in his heart? Do we? I do. He points toward Cole and Tazz and asks the question. He fears nothing! He spared Undertaker last week. He gave him a way out of this, but he wants to come back for more. The Royal Rumble is coming, and this will be his final resting place. He fears no man, living or dead. The arena darkens, and Taker's gong hits. Heidenreich tells Taker to come on, that he isn't afraid. We hear Taker's voice from somewhere unknown, saying that his final resting place has been chosen. At Royal Rumble, he will rest in peace. The Druids' music hits, and they carry a coffin to the ring. Heidenreich looks scared and crawls toward the coffin. He massages it gently, petting it as one would a cat. Then it opens, and Undertaker is in it! The Druids' music suddenly changes to his own, and he looks pissed. I guess he really liked hearing all those monks chanting. Cole speculates that the PPV match could be a casket match. I hope it's a squash match similar to those seen tonight. A match about the length of JBL/Moore would be ideal for these two.

Josh Matthews poses the question of who Rey & RVD will defend against. He interviews Jindrak & Reigns. Reigns says Rey & RVD will choose them, because they want real competition. When it comes to tag team wrestling on SD!, no one is more confident or aggressive than... The Basham Brothers? They come out and say they've been champs and will again. Reigns says they have it all wrong, and Eddie comes and says THEY have it all wrong! They say they'll walk out the champions.

4.WWE Cruiserweight Title: Funaki (c) beat Spike Dudley (3:05) with a sunset flip.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good basic cruiserweight match, but once again too short to be anything. That sunset flip was a nice ending, and Spike brought his good heel stuff, but this match really needed more time to deliver a more competitive match. What point is a night of title matches when they're all so short? They really also should have used this to elevate a guy like Paul London or Akio, by having Funaki choose them, and have them bring a great match.

Highlight video of SD!'s trip to Iraq, set to "Higher" by Creed.

Backstage, three of the useless Diva bimbos talk about some guy. We see it's John Cena! The women introduce themselves to him. Michelle introduces herself, and Cena says he has a cat named Mich. Cena looks amazed at all these hot women. They ask to see it. They also ask to touch it and to play with it. It's not his penis, but the US Title! I love that belt. I might get one of the replicas one day.

RAW Rebound gives us Beat the Clock! That was an awesome idea, and better executed than Night of Champions tonight. We see some highlights of the excellent HHH/Shelton main event. Very dramatic match. They did a ton more with Beat the Clock than they're doing tonight.

Josh Matthews asks Rey & RVD who they'll defend against. The time is at hand, and who's it going to be? RVD says out of all the teams, there's only one they decided deserves it: Dawn Marie & Torrie Wilson. Rey tells him to be serious, and says the real team they choose is Booker T & Eddie Guerrero. Oh hell yeah! This could salvage the entire show. Rey says after they beat them tonight, then they'll face Dawn and Torrie!

5.WWE Tag Team Title: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam (c) beat Booker T & Eddie Guerrero (17:12 shown of 21:31) when Mysterio used a hurricanrana rollup on Guerrero.
Rating: ***1/4
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 5:24 to 9:43.
Thoughts: Great tag match that brought back memories of when the WWE Tag Title used to be in a lot of focus on SD! and provided a lot of good matches. Good, well-paced match with a good back and forth beginning that established both teams being equal, a good middle sequence where Booker & Eddie played the heels, and a nice comeback at the end. The ending didn't really come off as well as they were going for, I think, although I think the point was that Eddie was going to frogsplash Rey while he had the belt on him, but the ref came to as Eddie was going to the top rope. Still a very good solid tag team wrestling match with everyone displaying some great moves, and a great way to end the year of wrestling with a good wrestling match.

Overall, not a very effective show. Although there was a good but not classic main event, it was the only match in which they really used the stipulation to its fullest. The other matches were much too short and didn't give the sense of competition that you would expect from a Night of Champions. It's easy to see that RAW handles concept nights much better, as we saw from tonight's Beat the Clock. The main event tonight was better than any of the matches on RAW, but RAW as a whole was much better than SD! and more effectively used its stipulation. Still, I can't complain about a good fun main event, which was a nice way to send 2004 off wrestling-wise. I'd like to see these four guys be in more main events in 2005.

This will likely be the final review of 2004, so I'd like to say how good it's been to do these various reviews in the second half of this year, and how I'll enjoy doing reviews throughout all of 2005. I originally got this blog just to respond to some posts on somebody else's blog, but this has turned into something great, with the reviews being a huge part of it. I'm glad to have at least a couple of people reading these, and hopefully I can find a wider audience in 2005. It hasn't always been a great year, but this blog has helped make it a bit better for me.

Starrcade News

2004-12-30T00:41:00.000-06:00

Well, Starrcade will officially NOT be held in 2004. The Law and Jett have stuff to do with their church this weekend, so they won't be available. We're currently considering some ideas to work it into early January 2005 and probably do some sort of gimmick to make it kind of feel like 2004. Hopefully we can get this show done as early as possible, have an awesome show, and move on with a whole new era of MSW!

Starrcade... Friday?

2004-12-29T14:12:00.000-06:00

I talked with Jett, and he's going to talk with the guys (including The Law), and hopefully we can get Starrcade done on Friday. No guarantees, but that's the last day we have, so I really hope it works out. More news when I get it.

The Starrcade Drama Continues

2004-12-28T22:35:00.000-06:00

Well, Jett didn't call me back today. I tried calling him a couple of times but only got the answering machine. I'll call him when I wake up tomorrow. This is getting worse and worse, as this means that tomorrow is basically out, leaving only TWO more days to work with. Can we get it done? I hope so!

Another Starrcade Update

2004-12-28T14:47:00.000-06:00

I tried calling The Law, but his number is still disconnected. I did get in touch with Jett, and we discussed what to do, so it looks like Starrcade will hopefully be held in some form within the next few days, possibly as early as tomorrow. Due to the fact that we're running on such a tight schedule, not everyone may be able to show up, and some of the announced matches may have to be changed, however, we will make our best effort to keep any matches where we have all the participants the same, and provide quality substitutions for those that we must change. I'll be talking with Jett later tonight to discuss Starrcade in further detail.

Quick Starrcade Update

2004-12-27T22:41:00.000-06:00

I didn't receive a call from either The Law or Jett today. I tried calling The Law a few minutes ago, and for some reason, his number is temporarily disconnected. I then tried calling Jett, and he's not at home. So I don't think I'll be able to get in touch with either of them unless they call me tonight, which I doubt. I'll make every effort to get in touch with at least one of them tomorrow. This means tomorrow probably won't be a possible date of the show, robbing us of one more day and leaving three days left. The race to hold Starrcade in 2004 is looking to be harder and harder.

RAW 12/27/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-27T22:17:00.000-06:00

A funny note about my WWE Fantasy Team before I begin the review: I ended up forgetting until the last minute to pick my new team, and the last minute was when I was out somewhere and wasn't able to get online, so I'm stuck with the team I had for last week, which was all SD! guys (due to no new RAW). I'll hopefully still get some decent points, and maybe I'll get lucky, but I just found it kind of funny. You probably don't. So on with the review!

Video package highlights of the World Title situation from two weeks ago, including the ending of the HHH/Benoit/Edge triple threat match and Bischoff's announcement of the Elimination Chamber match at New Year's Revolution.

We go live, as Bischoff is back! He says we are just two weeks away from New Year's Revolution, where the now-vacant World Title will be determined in the Elimination Chamber. Four superstars will be locked in individual glass chambers that will be opened at random, while two superstars start the match. After five superstars are eliminated, the winner is the champion. Obviously, the last man entered has the biggest advantage. Tonight, he has a couple of surprises. All six competitors in the Elimination Chamber match are going to have a "Beat the Clock" night. Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, Edge, Batista, "Y2J" Chris Jericho, and Triple H will all have one-on-one matches with unknown opponents, and it's very quite simple. The man who defeats his opponent in the least amount of time will be the last man released into the chamber. And since time is of the essence, please allow Bischoff to introduce our very special guest timekeeper, the winner of the 2004 Diva Search, Christy Hemme! Wow, not only is she the most expensive ring announcer in WWE history, but also the most expensive timekeeper! But wait, there's more! Should any one of the competitors lose to his opponent, then that man will be replaced in the Elimination Chamber by the athlete who defeated him. And one last thing. There is going to be a very special guest referee for the Elimination Chamber, who he will announce later this evening. (I'm hoping for new WWE road agent Ricky Steamboat! It'll probably be Foley though.) But let's start off with Chris Jericho in a Beat the Clock match! This is seriously a pretty cool idea. As Christian enters, have to mention how hilarious Tomko is in a Captain Charisma shirt.

1.Beat the Clock Match: Chris Jericho beat Christian (7:45 shown of 10:47) with a Walls of Jericho.
Rating: **1/4
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 5:28 to 8:30.
Thoughts: Very good match as these two usually bring, with some psychology fitting the stipluation, as Jericho wrestled faster, while Christian tried to slow the pace down to piss him off. Not quite PPV quality, especially with the commercial break (why go to commercial in a match where time is so important?), but still a very good and dramatic match, with the drama being added to by the stipulation. Tomko provided a great near fall that the crowd (and I) almost bought. Overall, a good well-structured match that would have been just as good without the stipluation, and some good extras to play to the stip.

Backstage, HHH tells Flair how he and Batista are concerned about their opponents tonight. Batista claims to not be concerned, and then HHH says he isn't either. HHH argues with Batista about being concerned, and Batista says he's confident. He asks if HHH is, and he says he's The Game and the Cerebral Assassin, with his tone of voice betraying him. He says he has $100 in his wallet saying he beats his guy faster than Batista. Flair says the big picture is the Elimination Chamber match. The World Title is at stake, and HHH knows tonight, he will score the fastest fall and come out with the quickest win. And Batista knows that the World Champion will be HHH.

Maria interviews Randy Orton, who says he's competed in an EC match before, and from personal experience, it's a brutal environment, to say the least. He's not scared, in fact, he's excited, because it's been three long months since he's had the ability to fight for the title, and he'll prove to everybody that in 2005, he's making a New Year's resolution that at New Year's Revolution, he's walking out the World Champion. The crowd pops BIG TIME for Orton. Orton doesn't care who his opponent is, he'll win faster than everybody. He tells Maria not to go anywhere, since his match will be over before you can hear RKO.

2.Beat the Clock Match: Randy Orton beat Maven (6:14) with an RKO.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: Another good match with a lot of drama. Maven has a lot of intensity in his new heel role and seems to be finding a good character with it, and he played to the stipluation well, keeping Orton slowed down, applying chinlocks, staying on the outside, etc. Orton wanted to take care of business quickly and did well at showing that. Good stuff as usual from Orton, and Maven seems to be finding himself after his heel turn.

Commercial for SD! this week, where all four titles will be on the line!

3.Non-Title: WWE Women's Champion Lita beat Molly Holly (1:53) with a DDT.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Not enough time to be anything more than a squash. Decent squash, but nothing notable until the end, with a sick DDT to cap it off! It's a shame that they can't give Molly more competitive matches though. They especially need to turn her into a competitor, considering they fired three of the women's wrestlers (Gail, Nidia, Jazz), leaving only four by my count (Lita, Trish, Molly, Victoria).

Snitsky gets in the ring and runs Lita off, then chases her through the crowd to the backstage area. She hides in a room and locks the door. Snitsky says he just wants to play. Bischoff comes out and asks what he's doing. Snitsky says he's having a blast, and Bischoff says he'll be having more fun at New Year's Revolution, because he's making an official match between Gene Snitsky and Kane.

Simon Dean says the holidays are almost over, and the people here in Mississippi have spent theirs stuffing their faces like gluttonous pigs! His opponent, Rosey, fits in perfectly with the rest of these pigs here in Mississippi! He can't believe this. He is completely surrounded by a bunch of porkers! He takes it back. They aren't pigs, they're a bunch of disgusting hogs. Oink oink oink oink!

4.Simon Dean beat Rosey (3:04) with a schoolboy.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Not much to this either, but Simon Dean was pretty hilarious here. He couldn't use as much of the technical wrestling he was using against Hurricane here, but he was entertaining in the match, and a good ending stealing the schoolboy while Rosey was distracted. And you have to hand it to Simon, he had great strategy in this match. I fucking LOVE this guy!

5.Beat the Clock Match: Edge beat World Tag Team Champion Eugene (8:48) with a Figure Four Edge Lock.
Rating: **1/2
Thoughts: Tremendous match that told an awesome story of Edge's growing frustration. He started the match off with good strategy, doing things like rollups, but soon resorted to chinlocks when he couldn't beat Eugene quickly, a sure sign of frustration, since that's not good strategy when you're trying to beat the clock. The closing moments of the clock were great too, with Eugene hiding out and pissing Edge off, and after the clock, Edge became sadistic. A great way to put Edge's heel character over and use Eugene's sympathy from the crowd to that purpose.

Bischoff is on the phone telling someone that Orton has the fastest time, but there's still three times to go. We find out that the person he's talking to is coming tonight. Coach comes in with a late Christmas present: shades like Coach! Bischoff confirms to Coach that the special referee is coming tonight. Coach asks for the scoop, and Bischoff says the scoop is he wants Coach to be surprised just like everybody else. But he will tell Coach one thing. When the special guest referee shows up and the announcement is made, not one person in the match is going to be happy about it. NCW's Chris gives me the obvious answer: Shawn Michaels. Duh. Why was I thinking Steamboat or Foley? It's obviously HBK. Although it would be cool if they swerved us.

6.Beat the Clock Match: Chris Benoit beat Viscera (5:43) with a Crippler Crossface.
Rating: *
Thoughts: Benoit didn't totally carry the match this time, only because he had help from the stipluation. The drama was not whether Benoit would win (that was obvious) but whether he would beat the clock, and that he did. This match didn't have much in the wrestling department for obvious reasons, but it really brought the question of whether Benoit could beat the clock, and the Crossface at the end was very dramatic. Nice German suplex by Benoit to lead to it too. And honestly, I do have to admit that Viscera pulled off that one spinkick pretty nicely. Overall, this was about as good as you'd expect from Viscera, and at least the stip brought some excitement to it.

Stacy is in the ring and apparently has something to say. First, she hopes everyone had a great Christmas, and on behalf of the entire WWE family, they would like to thank us for making 2004 a great year. I wouldn't exactly call 2004 a great year for WWE. On a personal note, Stacy would like to thank us for voting her the 2004 Babe of the Year. For her New Year's resolution, she promises to bend over backwards and forwards to make 2005 even better. As she bends over, Hassan and Daivari come out. Oh boy. Hassan is in wrestling tights, so apparently he has a match. Actually, his tights look pretty cool. Daivari snatches the mic from Stacy and orders her out of the ring in Arabic. Well, it's not really Arabic, but I don't remember the name of the actual language. Hassan talks in English, saying he doesn't find this as surprising as he finds it disgusting, that a country that is a den of lies and a cesspool of hypocrisy can put on this facade of holiday cheer and goodwill towards all men. But in reality, America does not wish goodwill towards all men. Only those that they see fit to show it to! And right now, especially right now, that does not include his Arab brothers. These are recent undisputable facts. A recent poll at Cornell University shows nearly half of all Americans believe Arab-Americans should have their civil liberties limited. (It's true, it was something like 44% that said that.) Not because they've committed any crimes, but simply because they're of Arab descent. Don't listen to him, they can find out right now. Go to www.news.cornell.edu (Hassan did not include the www, but you have to include it or you'll just get an error instead of the site) and see the truth for yourselves. And the truth is, that deep down inside your hearts, every single one of you is prejudiced. And the truth is that deep down, none of us have the guts to admit it. And if we don't open our eyes... The fans chant USA while Hassan is talking. If we don't open our eyes and see what he's doing to his Arab brothers and him, then his New Year's resolution will be to personally beat some sense into America. Daivari goes to the announcers table and says it's infidels like those that make the country a bad place. They sit there and preach their prejudiced propaganda to an audience of millions. Lawler says he's heard enough of it, and they get into a brawl, with Hassan punching out J.R.! Hassan and Lawler stare down.

Okay, NOW this stuff is great. I'm glad they're dropping the 9/11 angle and going with more of a general basis for Hassan and Daivari. They've dropped the stuff that I find offensive about this (9/11, calling troops names) and just kept it to real-life stuff, and NOW this is effective stuff. Honestly, this was a great segment, with amazing mic skills by Hassan and Daivari, and a feeling of true reality here. Despite being heels, if you really think about it, you can side with these two. This is the type of stuff people have been saying all along, but now I think they'll get more people on board with this with the current approach rather than going too controversial with it. Now that they're dealing with ONLY the truth (and that Cornell U study was an awesome way to do it), this has done a complete 180, and they have become very effective and emotionally charged characters. I loved this segment, and as long as they don't go back to some of the depths from last week, I'll enjoy the direction this is going in.

Back from commercial, J.R. has blood on his cheek, and Lawler bitches about Hassan & Daivari, as Batista comes out for his match.

7.Beat the Clock Match: Batista beat Rhyno (3:02) with a sitdown powerbomb.
Rating: *
Thoughts: This match shows that they want to put Batista over in a big way, as this was pretty much just a squash. A very intense one, but they totally sacrificed Rhyno here, even letting Batista kick out of his finisher. But I actually think Rhyno ended up looking good here, making him look like a real threat despite being totally squashed. It also may further the Batista/HHH angle, with the extra time for the second sitdown powerbomb possibly costing Batista, depending on how HHH's match goes. Or if HHH's match ends up longer, Batista can say he won faster even with wasting that time. Very effective and good squash.

Video package of SD!'s trip to Iraq, set to "Higher" by Creed.

Before HHH has his match, I'm wondering who they'll put against him. I actually think they could pull off an upset, with HHH actually being taken out of the EC entirely. This could be a GREAT opportunity to give somebody a big push. I'm even thinking they could possibly pit HHH against Flair, which would make things really interesting if Flair won. This running stipulation for the night really makes for interesting speculation like this. I love it!

Bischoff talks to Candice about her Christmas holiday when Coach interrupts. He says the referee is here! Bischoff asks how Coach knows he's the ref. Coach says how could he not know? And how could Bischoff not tell him it'd be him? Coach says the EC just got more interesting. Hassan comes into Bischoff's office complaining about the announcers. They are the voices of RAW, and all they do is spew anti-Arab-American propaganda to the TV audience each week. Daivari says they are sick of the hate. Hassan wants King and J.R. in a match to make them pay for their backwards thinking. Bischoff says King may be a legend, but J.R. isn't a wrestler. But next week, there will be a debate: Hassan & Daivari vs. J.R. & King. I assume this is leading to Hassan vs. King at New Year's Revolution. That would be a much better idea than the tag match. I hope the debate ends up interesting, although I'm sure it will get physical.

New Year's Revolution card:
-Kane vs. Gene Snitsky
-WWE Women's Title: Lita (c) vs. Trish Stratus
-World Heavyweight Title Elimination Chamber Match: Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Triple H vs. Chris Benoit vs. Batista vs. Edge

HHH tells Flair that Batista wasn't supposed to beat the clock and argues with him. Batista says Rhyno pissed him off. He did what he did, and he's sorry. HHH argues over that, saying the plan was for him to go in last. Batista says now HHH is starting to piss him off. Flair says they're a unit, Evolution, the most powerful thing that ever happened, Evolution comes first. He leads HHH to get ready for his match. I love where they're going with this HHH/Batista thing.

The four non-Evolution men in the EC match are all sitting at ringside to watch HHH's match. I hope they don't actually get involved in the match itself, although it could be interesting if they caused HHH to lose, especially if Batista was involved in that. Batista takes his seat with the other four. HHH stares down the five guys after entering the ring.

SHELTON BENJAMIN is the opponent!!! Business has just picked up!

8.Non-Title Beat the Clock Match: Triple H beat WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin (5:44) with a pedigree.
Rating: **
Thoughts: Probably the most dramatic match of the night, with HHH displaying incredible intensity trying to beat Shelton before the clock, and then teasing a Shelton win after the clock expired. Great touch to have the original HHH/Shelton ending be a near fall while HHH was arguing with the ref. It would have been pretty cool if they would have actually given Shelton the win, but it was still a very close and dramatic match, and while short, it was a great main event for this show.

Right after the match, Bischoff introduces the special guest referee: Shawn Michaels! HBK comes out in a ref shirt! I can see why some people wouldn't like it, but not everybody has issues with HBK. They've all had past issues, but nothing currently. Still, pretty cool.

This is a definite contender for RAW of the year. The "Beat the Clock" stipluation made the entire show feel important, and packed it with matches while making almost all those matches dramatic, suspenseful, and important. Great booking and perfect choices of opponents allowed them to use the stipluation to its maximum effect. Well done, and I have to give them credit for pulling this off perfectly. This made for some very good matches, and while they sometimes sacrificed match quality for dramatic purposes (Benoit/Regal, for instance, would have been a much better match than Benoit/Viscera, but Viscera provided a more unique story for the match), it all came together very well and made for a tremendous and exciting night. Great way to cap off the year 2004 for the RAW brand, and I doubt SD! can top this, even with all four titles on the line.

Direct link to the study Hassan cited:
Cornell News: American attitudes toward Muslims

EDITED 10:27 PM: Thanks to NCW's Chris for the correct name of the hold Edge defeated Eugene with, and also for reminding me that the language Daivari speaks is called Farsi.

Now THIS Is How You Book Wrestling!

2004-12-27T13:39:00.000-06:00

As you may or may not know, at last night's ROH show, Austin Aries defeated Samoa Joe to become the new ROH World Champion in what was said to be an awesome match and received a tremendous reaction. Samoa Joe had held the title for an amazing 22 MONTHS! He had an excellent reign, making many defenses at ROH shows and around the world, including two classic 60 minute draws against CM Punk earlier this year. Now, THIS is how wrestling should be done. You have a guy having great matches getting over with the fans, built up with a long reign filled with good matches, and finally shocking everyone by losing it, since even though some people predicted it, no one actually believed he would lose it after such a long time, this putting Aries over as a big star AND putting the title over as serious business. WWE and TNA could take some lessons from this.

Speaking of ROH, sometime in the next couple of weeks, once I get done with the WWE 2004 PPVs on DVD, I'll review the two ROH shows with the Joe/Punk draws, World Title Classic and Joe vs. Punk II. Aries is in a four-way Ultimate Endurance tag match at WTC but for some reason isn't on JvP II. I may also order some more shows in the near future, including the show with the final match in the Joe/Punk trilogy (All Star Extravaganza II), last night's show (Final Battle 2004), and possibly the two Weekend of Thunder shows that Jushin Thunder Liger appeared at, depending on how I like these two shows. Hopefully I can get the ball rolling on these DVD reviews in the next couple of days so I can get to all this before the semester begins. In the meantime, see you tonight for RAW (and possibly a review of the Iraq SD! if I can fit it in!)

UPDATE 7:48 PM: Pic of the new ROH World Champion, Austin Aries, courtesy of ROHWrestling.com!

Starrcade and Other News

2004-12-26T21:47:00.000-06:00

I just got off the phone with The Law. He and Jett both had to spend Christmas with family and couldn't get in touch with me, so that screwed things up for yesterday. Law is going to call Jett tomorrow and see when we can do Starrcade, and then one of them will get in touch with me. I'll try to announce a date for Starrcade whenever we have one. The goal is to get it done in 2004, which we only have a few days left of.

In other news, I watched part of Heat today, but I didn't bother to tape it. All it was was highlights of 2004, just like RAW. I don't know if I'll bother to watch some of the other recent TV I've taped, including the Iraq SD! But I'll definitely be back in the reviewing groove starting with RAW tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll also be able to start DVD reviews soon. So I'll see you then!

Lies Ruling America

2004-12-26T00:03:00.000-06:00

After having a big argument with somebody today over Kerry, I've been doing a little thinking about the state of our country. His contention was that what's wrong with America is that people like Kerry are allowed to run for office. But let's look at the REAL problem with America. A problem that we can see when we look at the fact that total lies reign supreme.

One thing that ALWAYS pisses me off is when people call Kerry a "flip-flopper". I know the election is over and all that, but people still say it even now. That's total bullshit and just made up by the Republicans. Anyone who says it is betraying, at the very least, ignorance, showing that they've only heard the Republican propaganda and haven't actually checked out the real facts (which show certain nuances that show that it's not that he can't make up his mind, but that there are certain key differences in different bills he voted on, and things like that). Yet this is just one of the many lies that brought Bush to office. Another major lie, as we know, is the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Bush (and his UK buddy Blair) continually told us they KNEW Saddam had WMDs in Iraq, and now we know that we have found nothing. In fact, once the war started, they didn't even mention the WMD angle anymore, but instead stated that the purpose of the war was to free the Iraqi people and get rid of a ruthless dictator. They weren't saying that before the war. What they were saying was the WMDs. They suddenly changed their reason because they knew they had no factual basis for their claims of WMDs. Who's the REAL flip-flopper in this?

But the real question is: Why are the American people so much more willing to believe the Republicans' blatant lies rather than the truth? Why do people believe that banning gay marriage is the only way to "protect the sanctity of marriage", when gay marriage wouldn't affect existing marriages at all? Why do people believe that Saddam took part in 9/11 when there is absolutely no evidence to that effect, and the 9/11 Commission even stated there was no connection? And why did people vote for the party that perpetuates all these lies?

Probably the biggest reason is that Americans aren't exposed to the truth in the first place. The Republicans are masters at making sure everyone on their side talks about the same subject and uses the same wording. This means that they are better able to get their points out there than the Democrats, who don't have that unity. Also, despite the Republicans' claims of a "liberal media", most media outlets are owned by conservatives. Many journalists may be liberal, but the actual owners are generally conservative and Republican, which makes sense, since the rich are more likely to be so. And while they may not always micromanage their news outlets, they may spin things that are important to the Republicans, such as slightly spinning war coverage and things of that nature.

The media isn't the only establishment perpetuating Republican propaganda. Many Americans belong to some kind of church, and some, though not all, churches are distinctly Republican. They appreciate the Republican efforts to force religion on Americans and don't mind soldiers dying if it means gays don't get married. This isn't true of all churches, but this is true of the ones that are more fundamentalist and allow less critical thinking and examination of faith. The type of people drawn to these churches are generally those who have a lack of critical thinking for whatever reason, whether it's being raised in an environment (family, church, school, etc.) where they were never taught critical thinking, or they just don't care. These people are the ones that are pushed by the Republican-affiliated churches to vote and that ultimately tip the scales.

So overall, the problem isn't with the people who run for office, but with those who vote. These people, for whatever reason, either aren't exposed to anything other than this propaganda or don't have the skills to analyze what they are exposed to. I'm not advocating stripping anyone of the right to vote, and in fact, I'm totally against that. What I am for is education. I think we need to educate the American people that the Republicans are nothing but trouble, and that they don't have your best interests at heart, only their own. The Republicans (note I'm talking about the politicans, not the voters) are cruel animals who will sacrifice the lives of thousands of our brave young men and women for some money, votes, and power. The voters are generally either people who also put their own interests above the good of the people (i.e. some rich people, some fundamentalist Christians) or people who are misled, misguided, and misinformed. I think a lot of Americans are good people with good hearts, but they're just pushed in the wrong direction and don't know what they're dealing with.

In conclusion, although the current Republican-dominated atmosphere is definitely a setback for America, I think we can bounce back from this if we work together and try to educate the American people. Equip them with critical thinking skills and spread the truth, and enough people should come around to help make America strong again. And for those of you who are Republican or agree with their ideals, I urge you to take a second look at it and see what they're really all about. Hopefully we can have a stronger America in 2006 and 2008, one where the voters truly analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each candidate, rather than parroting stupid labels like "flip-flopper". A greater America starts with you!

Starrcade Delayed?

2004-12-25T14:01:00.000-06:00

At this point, that looks to be the case. I haven't gotten in touch with The Law since last night, and I think he may have tried to call me today, but if so, he hasn't called back. So at this point, it looks like the show may be delayed until next week. We really need to get this show done in 2004, so hopefully we can get it done on one of my days off. I'll post if I get any more news on this situation, but right now, it's highly doubtful Starrcade will actually take place today.

Also, I want to wish a very merry Christmas to all my blog readers! I've been working some shitty hours this week, so I haven't really had time to watch any wrestling, but hopefully I can catch up soon and start getting to some DVDs. I may do a review tonight if I feel up to it, even though I'm pretty tired from not getting enough sleep recently. So I'll see you soon! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Thoughts on Today's XWF Show and Saturday's Starrcade

2004-12-19T19:50:00.000-06:00

Well, the second XWF show that I've wrestled at took place today. Just like last time, I lost all my matches, and this time, I lost my MSW Intercontinental Title, which I held for over a year, to an XWF wrestler named Josh. Despite all this, I don't mind, as this gives The KliniK a reason to be seriously pissed at The Law and his XWF buddies going into Starrcade this Saturday. I've been having some good matches where I've basically just been beaten down, and now it's time to see if The KliniK will turn the tables on the XWF this Saturday. It's really fun getting to wrestle with a new group of guys, and I think that now that we've had a couple of shows to feel each other out, things should start kicking into high gear starting with Starrcade. I'm capping the TLC match from the Halloween show tonight, so anyone who wants it can IM me at MSW The KliniK starting tomorrow. I won't be online much this week though, as I work a lot (busy holiday season!) and wrestle on Saturday. My major goal for Saturday is, win, lose, or draw, to put on the best match of my career and, whether I win the MSW World Title or not, to start a new era for The KliniK, and with all the shit that's happened to me this year, it could be symbolic of a new era for me in my personal life, as I plan to have a great 2005, and putting on great in-ring performances will be part of that. We have a bigger and much different crew for Starrcade this year than we've had in past years (The Law and I are the only ones who have wrestled at previous Starrcades), but I'm confident it will be an awesome show. So while you're opening your presents on Christmas, I may be opening the door to reigning as the new MSW World Champion! We'll see if that happens on Saturday!

Heat 12/19/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-19T19:04:00.000-06:00

1.Simon Dean vs. The Hurricane went to a no contest (about 4:30) when the referee was knocked down and Dean left the ring.
Rating: *
Thoughts: Good match with some interesting moves from both men (including Simon Dean's neckbreaker in the ropes), and Simon continues to play the heel well. Not as good as their RAW match and without as much great technical wrestling, but these two had a fun and solid match, with a good build to a Simon/Rosey feud.

Grenier sings the Canadian national anthem and is interrupted by Rhyno & Tajiri.

2.La Resistance (Sylvain Grenier & Robert Conway) beat Rhyno & Tajiri (6:37) when Grenier used a double leg takedown with his feet on the ropes on Rhyno.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Very good and energetic tag match. La Resistance had great teamwork and heel tactics, and Tajiri played the face in peril well, with Rhyno delivering a great comeback. Some good moves thrown in here, and a great pace overall in the match. Great stuff from these two teams!

Highlights of the Divas/Snitsky/Lita segment from RAW. Snitsky is the man.

3.Val Venis beat Chad Collyer (6:22) with a spinning powerbomb.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: Tremendous mat match, with Val working Collyer's arm to start, and Collyer doing some great work on Val, busting out some nice holds, with Val doing an awesome job of selling. Collyer actually looked like he'd win at some points, especially with that last leg submission hold. Very good match in which both men looked good and showed off some great stuff.

Video package highlights of the World Title situation from RAW.

Video package highlights of Lita winning the Women's Title from Trish two weeks ago on RAW.

4.Trish Stratus beat Victoria (3:47) with a Stratusfaction.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good women's match, but too short to really amount to anything. Some nice back and forth action and the usual good intensity from these two, with some good near falls towards the end. I'm not really a big fan of the Stratusfaction, since sometimes it looks so fake (since Trish's opponent has to lift her up for it), and this was one of those times. Nevertheless, good competitive match between these two women, though they could have done much more with some more time.

Very good Heat tonight, with no bad matches and some great action. It's good to get a nice Heat, since RAW will all be old stuff tomorrow. I will review that show anyway, and that should be up Tuesday, since I work tomorrow. So I'll see you then!

Calling All Blog Readers!

2004-12-17T20:49:00.000-06:00

I've opened up commenting on posts to everybody. I'd like everybody who reads this blog to please comment to this post. You don't have to be a member of Blogger to comment, but please give me a name and, if I don't know you, tell me a little bit about yourself. I just want to see how many people read this blog and meet any readers I don't know. If this is abused by certain individuals, commenting will be restricted to certain people once again, so don't bother with any stupid bullshit. But please, if you read this blog, give me a comment, and tell me who you are and what you think of my blog! Thanks!

MSW News

2004-12-17T17:17:00.000-06:00

I just got off the phone with The Law, and the current plans are to do an XWF show this Sunday, which I will attend, and for MSW to hold Starrcade (headlined by The KliniK vs. The Law in a 60 minute Iron Man match for the MSW World Title) later in the week. So I should have a busy week of wrestling coming up, but it'll be worth it if I can put on a classic with The Law!

Impact! 12/17/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-17T16:08:00.000-06:00

Video package of clips set to Jeff Jarrett's promo from last week and, in a weird twist, Chris Sabin's old theme (the one on TNA's second CD). We get Dusty's rebuttal as well, announcing Jarrett will defend the title at Final Resolution.

1.The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) beat Johnny B. Badd & Sonny Siaki (4:57) when Stevens pinned Badd after Douglas helped him avoid a hurricanrana by Badd.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good basic tag team match, with some nice fast-paced offense from Siaki & Badd, and a nice tag done in a way to surprise The Naturals. Siaki & Badd actually had the better offense, as The Naturals were slightly repetitive in their offense, which may have not made them look as good as they should have. But still a good short formula tag match with a nice flow.

Dusty Rhodes talks about Final Resolution, where Jeff Jarrett will defend the NWA World Title, and the surprise he has waiting on call will revolutionize the industry. A knock on the door is some chick, who congratulates Dusty on Turning Point. She wants to be Dusty's secretary. She answers Dusty's phone as he looks at her ass.

Commercial to vote for Tag Team of the Year: Michael Shane & Kazarian, 3 Live Kru, The Naturals, The New York Connection, Team Canada, Triple X, and America's Most Wanted. It's obviously going to come down to XXX and AMW, with AMW being the probable winner.

2.Jeff Hardy beat NWA World Tag Team Champion Bobby Roode (5:06) with a swanton bomb.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good little match, with the nice spot of Hardy being sent into the guardrail and Roode capitalizing with focused offense. Hardy isn't exactly the smoothest wrestler, if you know what I mean, but he wasn't bad here, and he and Roode worked pretty well together. D'Amore's interference was kind of useless then, as Hardy won right after that anyway. They should have had a couple more minutes of wrestling after that. Overall, not enough time to be anything, but a good short exhibition match.

3.Dustin Rhodes beat Johnny Swinger (4:51) with his finisher.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Decent basic match, with Swinger spitting at Dustin adding a nice touch and giving Dustin some intensity in his comeback right after that. Dustin doesn't really seem to be in great shape though, so this match was a bit choppier than it should have been, but Swinger carried it a bit. Decent, but not really impressive. Hopefully Dustin doesn't end up getting the title shot at Final Resolution. He needs to get in shape a bit first.

Shane Douglas interviews Dustin Rhodes, who puts over TNA as the best wrestling organization in the world. He answered the door when opportunity knocked. At Turning Point, he witnessed a ***** PPV, the best he's ever seen, but the reason he's in TNA is because Jeff Jarrett and the NWA World Title are here. Jarrett has had the belt way too long. The same title that was wrapped around his dad's waist, the same NWA World Title he wants and means to get, so he's here in TNA. He is coming for Jarrett, so he better watch out and stay on his heels. 'Nuff said! Oh no, I think we have our #1 contender here. It's still not official though.

Highlights of DDP vs. Raven from Turning Point and DDP's confrontations with Nash & Hall and Raven, plus Raven talking with Erik Watts about DDP.

Scotty Matthews is in the ring for his match with Erik Watts, but DDP hits the Diamond Cutter and takes his place in the ring waiting for Watts. Watts is shocked to see DDP and backs up the ramp instead of getting in the ring. DDP and Watts taunt each other as Watts goes up the ramp, and DDP poses for the crowd. That was actually a pretty cool segment, turning the usual jobber squash into angle advancement.

Poll for Best Finishing Move: Jeff Hardy's swanton, Jeff Jarrett's Stroke, Petey Williams's Canadian Destroyer, Monty Brown's Pounce, AJ Styles's Styles Clash, DDP's Diamond Cutter, Abyss's Black Hole Slam, and Raven's Raven Effect. You'd have to be an idiot not to know which one is going to win.

Highlights of AJ Styles vs. Hector Garza from last week.

4.Non-Title: NWA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett beat Hector Garza (9:42 shown of 12:13) with a guitar shot.
Rating: **
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 3:09 to 5:40.
Thoughts: Great main event, with Jarrett playing the heel awesomely. The first part of the match was good, with basic wrestling and a good story, with Jarrett using his experience to duck Garza's moves and taunt him, and Garza ending up throwing that back in his face. Good back and forth action in the second part of the match, but the interference by Nash and Hall was disappointing. They did end up doing it in a way which provided some good drama though, and that guitar shot while Garza was doing El Tornillo was wicked! Overall very good match for Impact!

A great main event and a decent if unexciting undercard makes this show good for what it is. Impact! would be better served by getting two hours at some point, as it's more like Heat and Velocity at this point rather than RAW or SmackDown! But they still put on some good shows, and this week's reminded me of the old format, with mostly wrestling and a minimum of sports entertainment, so it was good enough for a Friday afternoon, and I did enjoy the main event quite a bit. Jarrett gets a lot of heat for being champ, and while I don't think he should be the champ (Styles should), he's really a good wrestler who can deliver in the ring. Speaking of Styles, he needs to be featured more on Impact! We didn't see any of Styles besides highlights this week.

SmackDown! 12/16/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-16T21:11:00.000-06:00

Things start off with Orlando Jordan in the ring, introducing JBL, who is still (unfortunately) the WWE Champion! Red, white, and blue balloons fall in the arena. Amy Weber has an extremely short skirt on. I'm not complaining about that one! There is nothing like the triumphant return of a conquering warrior, says JBL! He thanks Music City as they boo. They say in history, all things come in threes. FDR ending the Great Depression, Ronald Reagan tearing down the Berlin Wall, and last Sunday, in Hotlanta, the greatest example of sports entertainment history just happened. He did not just defeat three people, he defeated three of the greatest WWE superstars of all time: Booker T, The Undertaker, and Eddie Guerrero, thus etching his name into stone as the champion of all champions. You want to know how impressive it was? Thank you for asking. He has a General Manager who is more biased and corrupt than Kofi Annan. He has fans who are so ungrateful, they refuse to chant his name! How many of them bought a ticket to see a new WWE Champion standing there tonight? He gives Amy a Christmas gift, a tiara! He is going to forgive the fans, because he is giving them an opportunity, unlike the Tennessee Titans, to be on the winning team. He will allow them to chant JBL's name! Just like 2004, 2005 is the year of JBL! Honestly, this is a great promo, and I think I'm going to be a huge JBL fan once he finally loses the belt. As he talks about 2005, Kurt Angle's music interrupts! Angle stares down JBL. JBL says Angle just interrupted his party. He sincerely hopes he came down to offer him his congratulations, so go ahead and do it. Angle doesn't mean to rain on JBL's parade, but he's not there to congratulate him. He says that he's the greatest WWE Champion of all time? He thinks his title win at Armageddon was the greatest title win of all time? Is he out of his freakin' mind? JBL said he was a champion of all champions, and he is speaking the truth! He demands Angle to shake his hand, congratulate him, and get out of his ring. Angle says before he does, the truth needs to be told. The truth is, Angle is the greatest WWE Champion of all time! Angle takes us back to Armageddon 2000, when he beat Stone Cold, The Rock, Undertaker, Rikishi, and Triple H. He beat five of the greatest superstars in WWE history in a six-man Hell in a Cell! So don't come out with his over the top ridiculous championship celebration. In case he forgot, Angle invented the over the top ridiculous celebrations, bucko! JBL says Angle didn't just call him bucko. Angle says yes he did, bucko! The fans chant "Bucko!" JBL used to be called bucko when he was a kid. He is the WWE Champion, and Angle should refer to him as JBL, not bucko. Angle calls him bucko again. JBL mocks Angle's Hell in a Cell and gold medal, saying that was four years ago, and last Sunday, he lost a 3-on-1 match to Big Show. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Angle says that may be so, but he can beat his *BEEP* without breaking a sweat, bucko! He challenges JBL tonight for the WWE Title. JBL says that is one hell of an idea. Angle agrees. JBL says but not tonight. He had a big celebration after winning the title, and quite honestly, he celebrated all week, and he's pooped. He's taking the rest of the year off for Christmas and other things. Call his chief of staff, he'll see him next year! But Theodore Long is here! He says JBL should know by now that he doesn't decide whether he's going to take off around here, because Long is the only man that makes that decision! Now you better believe that, playa! Here's something else Long does, he also makes main events that people want to see! So tonight, it will be JBL vs. Kurt Angle! And it will be for the WWE Championship! He's got one thing to say, ho ho ho, or better yet, holla holla holla, playa! Angle's going to show JBL who a real champion is tonight!

1.Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam beat Billy Kidman & Akio (4:17) when RVD used a ***** frogsplash on Kidman.
Rating: **
Thoughts: Totally action-packed, fast-paced tag team match! Some unique moves here, and they really packed a ton of action in this relatively short formula tag match. This could have used some more time, but it was total nonstop action from start to finish. The lack of time made it hard for Kidman and Akio to be showcased, but they got in some good stuff. It looks like RVD & Rey should be a great team, but I think Kidman & Akio could be very good as well.

Torrie Wilson comes out in her Great American Bash outfit, reminding us all of that horrible PPV. I assume she's going to pimp next week's SD! in Iraq. She's proud to be in front of all of us wearing the colours of the good old USA. She's also proud to say that last year, she joined her fellow superstars in entertaining for the brave men and women of the Armed Forces in WWE's annual Christmas in Baghdad. She shows us video footage of last year's trip to Iraq. Honestly, this is a pretty cool idea, and it gives the troops something special (even though we saw how much WWE really cares about them on Monday night), and it gives us a unique show every year. Torrie says being with the troops last year was the most unbelievable experience she ever had, and she is proud to say that next week, they're going back. They really need to keep this chick away from a mic. She has a horrible voice. Then again, at least it's better than putting her in the ring. As the announcers talk about the trip to Iraq, Heidenreich suddenly comes out of the crowd! Cole jumps up as Heidenreich grabs a chair. He sits in the ring, and it looks like he's going to read more of his shitty poetry. It's about Undertaker. Well, I guess. We missed out on a few more awesome minutes of Rey & RVD vs. Kidman & Akio for THIS? Heidenreich says their second clash is coming. He meant Heidenreich vs. Undertaker, unfortunately, not Rey & RVD vs. Kidman & Akio. Wow, that's going to be one to look forward to. I'm going to have the toilet all cleaned up for me to use during that match!

Backstage, Booker and Eddie talk about how close they came to winning the WWE Title. Eddie says that even though they were fighting, they were on the same page. They see some chick backstage. Booker T says the only name she'll need to know is B.T.com! Booker agrees that he and Eddie are on the same page. Eddie says he hopes they don't take this personally, but next week, when they're in the Middle East, Eddie's gotta represent all his Latino homies! Booker T says it's going to be the first annual Booker T-off! They start arguing for some inexplicable reason, and Booker starts laughing.

The funny Royal Rumble commercial that debuted during Armageddon.

OJ tries to go to the GM's office, but some chick says he's not available. He runs into Luther Reigns, who asks if he's trying to get JBL out of the match with Angle. OJ says he doesn't need to, since everyone knows JBL is going to win. They argue over Angle's and JBL's accomplishments. OJ says JBL gives his employees full health care and benefits. Luther inquires about that and says that after the match, JBL will need all the health care he can get, since Angle will beat the hell out of him and take the WWE Title.

2.Booker T & Eddie Guerrero beat Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree (7:09 shown of 10:42) when Guerrero used a frogsplash on Suzuki.
Rating: *1/4
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 2:56 to 6:29.
Thoughts: Decent match, but Dupree & Suzuki got in almost no offense and didn't even have a stretch of time where they were on offense, thus greatly reducing the drama of the match. For some reason, this match didn't really seem to flow well either. Dupree bumped around very well though. Overall, too much of an extended squash rather than the back and forth match it should have been. The badly timed commercial break also hurt it a lot.

OJ tells JBL he couldn't see the GM, so the match is still on. JBL wants it to be on. Does anyone in his cabinet not believe he can beat Angle? The cabinet all acts as yes men, and Amy says after tonight, JBL will be heading overseas to represent WWE in the MIddle East. JBL says that's a warzone, but he didn't volunteer to do anything like that. Carlito comes up and says he's not looking for a fight. He just wants to talk. He couldn't help but overhear what JBL is saying, and Long has been forcing him to do a lot of things. Carlito says Long is out to get JBL. He knows that, because he's been after him ever since he came to SD!, and that's not cool. And after JBL's match tonight, he and Carlito should have a little talk on how to solve this problem. JBL says that can be arranged. Carlito bites his apple and walks off.

We're apparently going to get the entire US Title match from Armageddon! Cena's new spinning belt is fucking awesome. I want one!

5.WWE United States Title Street Fight: John Cena (c) beat Jesus (7:54) with an FU.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: This was more like a squash than a fight. Somewhat entertaining most of the time, with Cena having great intensity and facial expressions, but there was no drama whatsoever, and this match ran a few minutes long for what it was. Not much of a match though, since Jesus didn't do anything, although a large part of that was that he wasn't able to do anything due to injuries. Pretty cool to get a full PPV match for free though, although those few who actually saw the PPV would probably rather have had something new in its place.

After the match, Carlito goes for the steel chain, but Cena stops him and grabs the chain. Then he hits Carlito with the chain!

Video game footage from SD! vs. RAW of JBL vs. Kurt Angle as a preview of tonight's match.

We go back to "live" footage (not really live, of course), with Al Snow in the ring with the trophy. He talks about how they went from thousands to two. But there can be only one winner, so we get the two finalists out, Mike Mizanin and Daniel Puder. Snow says they've endured a lot over the last eight weeks, and they've proven themselves to be tough enough, but there can be only one winner. The audience has decided, so without further ado, let's find out who receives that $1 million contract. And the winner is... DANIEL PUDER! YES YES YES!!!!! Congratulations to the man, Daniel Puder! Al Snow says Puder hasn't won just $1,000,000, but a life-changing opportunity. Puder says he's happy, he worked his butt off for eight weeks, moved to CT, trained as hard as he could, but it's not going to stop there. He's going to get in the ring as soon as he can and do what he came to do. Al Snow asks him if he wants an opportunity to main event WrestleMania 21. Well, he will get that, because he is entered in the Royal Rumble!

Angle talks to his boys backstage and says that with all that's going on today, America needs an athlete, a hero pure of body and spirit, that they can look up to, not like those pro basketball thugs who attack fans, or the baseball players who break records and lie and cheat about it, or the NHL players who don't even show up for work. He's going to be a champion everyone can respect! Luther talks about how health care is so expensive and says that OJ said JBL gave them... Luther says he'll talk about it later. Angle says he's going to make history and become WWE Champion.

Long is the special guest at the commentary table, and he announces next week's Middle East SD! main event: The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich. Geez, I think I'd rather be shot at than watch that match. Joy Giovanni plays one of Santa's elves throwing shit out to the crowd.

Joy gives JBL a candy cane, which prompts Amy to brawl with her. Eventually, Long stops it and kicks everybody (Reigns, Jindrak, OJ, Bashams, and Amy) out for a true one-on-one title match. I personally think that's a great idea!

3.WWE Title: Kurt Angle beat John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) by DQ (10:54 shown of at least 14:31) when Orlando Jordan attacked Angle.
Rating: **3/4
Note: This match was joined in progress. Also, one commercial break was taken during this match, from 3:57 to 7:54 (times starting from TV start point).
Thoughts: Awesome TV main event, which would have been *** without the cheapass DQ ending. Angle provided some great counters to JBL's moves, using his own offense against him. JBL also had some nice stuff here, working the arm nicely after the shot into the steel steps. Some good drama here with Angle having JBL in the ankle lock, and it was pretty funny when Angle just backdropped OJ and kept JBL in the ankle lock. The belt shot actually provided a good near fall, but they ended up with a crappy DQ ending anyway. Still a great match overall, not PPV main event quality, but great for a TV main event. I'd rather see a rematch of this at Royal Rumble than a triple threat with Big Show.

After the match, Big Show takes out everybody, including hitting the F5 on OJ!

Overall mixed show. A good opening match and a great main event, plus the novelty of getting a free PPV match, even though it wasn't that good of a match. The rest of the show wasn't too impressive, but enough good stuff came out of it to not be a waste of time. I just hope we see JBL/Angle at Royal Rumble rather than JBL/Angle/Show. I am excited about Puder being in the Rumble though. I'm not excited about Taker/Heidenreich next week though. Ugh. I will be reviewing next week's show though, just as if it were a regular edition of SD!

All Wrestling Posts Back Up + Some Unpublished Reviews

2004-12-16T17:04:00.000-06:00

All wrestling reviews and other wrestling-related posts are back up now. Also, here are some unpublished reviews that have been sitting on my computer for a while now. Sometime this month, expect some DVD reviews, as well as the debut of my webpage with all my match ratings. In early January, I'll do a post with the top ten matches of the year, determined partially by my ratings.

Planned DVD reviews for this month:
WWE Royal Rumble 2004
WWE No Way Out 2004
WWE WrestleMania XX
WWE Backlash 2004
WWE SummerSlam 2004
ROH World Title Classic
ROH Joe vs. Punk II
And whatever else I can fit in.

Now, on to the reviews!

Heat 10/24/04

1.Rosey beat Steven Richards (5:14) with a top rope legdrop.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Entertaining match, starting off with some good comedy stuff, and then following it up with some great intense legwork by Richards. Nice comeback by Rosey at the end too. Overall, a fun match in which Steven Richards brought the best out of Rosey.

Highlights of Jericho & Orton vs. Flair & Batista from RAW, followed by still pics of the post-match show of respect from Orton and Flair at Taboo Tuesday. We also see the voting results of the IC Title match and still photos of Benjamin and Jericho after their match at the PPV.

Still photos of Kane vs. Gene Snitsky from Taboo Tuesday.

2.Rodney Mack beat Mike Mondo (5:21) with a DDT.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: A bit long for the total squash it was, but Mack had some very good intensity here. Mondo had some good basic offense but didn't really get to show much of it. Not much in terms of moves was going on here. Overall, a somewhat entertaining squash, but still just a squash.

Our new IC Champ, Shelton Benjamin, urges us to vote! I know I will!

Highlights of the Survivor Series press conference, plus WWE's tour of Europe.

Highlights (we've sure been having a lot of those so far!) of Benoit vs. HBK vs. Edge from RAW. I hope they include that match as a bonus on the Taboo Tuesday DVD (since there's no Heat match, due to it being on a Tuesday). We also see HBK being helped to the back after the match, plus still pics of HHH vs. HBK from Taboo Tuesday, including Edge's interference. You have to hand it to HBK for his courageous performances last week, both in the triple threat on RAW and against HHH at Taboo Tuesday.

Grenier sings the Canadian national anthem in French, as usual! They should include a recording of Grenier singing it on the new ThemeAddict CD. Unfortunately for those of us who are fans of Sylvain Grenier's musical talents, Maven interrupts! I wonder if Grenier ever had the problem Ashlee Simpson had on SNL.

3.Robert Conway beat Maven (6:47) with a Sylvain Grenier-assisted Au Revoir.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Good basic nicely paced match. Good use of Grenier on the outside, not overdoing it but bringing him in to tilt the odds a bit in favour of Conway. Conway's chinlock was very good and really looked more painful than the usual chinlock looks. After that, it heated up well with a nice intense comeback by Maven, and I liked the way they pulled off the ending. Good but not spectacular main event for Heat.

Good show tonight, with all three matches being good for the most part, and nothing really bad here. A bit heavy on the highlights and light on the matches (three instead of four), but it's understandable coming off a PPV. Heat provided a decent hour of entertainment, and that's all I ask for out of a weekend show.

SmackDown! 10/28/04

Backstage, Al Snow leads the pumped up Tough Enough guys for their first night on SD! They go to the locker room, where the guys look pissed. Big Show says that everyone in the locker room has paid their dues and demands the TE guys get out of the locker room. He pushes one of the guys around while kicking them out. Al Snow has them leave their stuff in the hallway and go out to the ring. "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach is the new TE song, playing as they walk out! Al Snow introduces the seven TE finalists to the crowd, who gives them a mixed reaction.

They are:
1.Chris Nawrocki
2.Mike Mizanin
3.Ryan Reeves
4.Daniel Rodimer
5.Nick Mitchell
6.Justice Smith
7.Daniel Puder

Snow tells us voting doesn't begin until next week. This week is their first challenge. They each have 20 seconds on the mic to tell Big Show exactly what they think of him. Chris cuts a pretty decent promo. Mike runs out of time before he's finished. Ryan's is a bit disappointing. Dan R. tries for a cocky heel promo and wasn't too horrible. Nick gives a Diva Search quality performance. Justice shows some potential. Dan P. finishes us up in somewhat underwhelming fashion. But now they get to tell it to Big Show's face! Big Show tells them to get against the ropes and brings out Dan R. and swings at him, missing closely! Big Show says he's going to bodyslam each and every one of them and see how tough they are. Ryan takes the first one! The Miz is #2! Nick gets a slap in the face followed by another scoop and a slam! Dan P. is #4! Chris is next up. Justice gets poetic justice with a scoop slam on him AND an elbow drop! Dan R. gets a slam and a knee to the chest! This was kind of stupid. They should have just had Big Show come in and slam them without telling them. As much as I love scoop slams, especially seven of them, thumbs down for this opening segment.

Video highlights of last week's Champions Showcase match, ending with Booker pinning JBL! I didn't see SD! last week, but this seemed like a pretty decent match.

1.Chavo Guerrero beat Nunzio (5:52) with a Gory Bomb.
Rating: *
Thoughts: Good back and forth match with some good offense by both men and not just a squash for Chavo. They were obviously grounded and held back a bit, as this match was mainly used as a backdrop for the feud with Kidman, but they did have a good match anyway. Good finish teases, including Chavo rolling out of the way of the SSP and counters of each other's finishers. Not as good as it could have been (thought that wasn't the wrestlers' fault), but an overall nice match, and they should have considered actually opening the show with this.

Josh Matthews interviews JBL about being pinned by Booker T, pinned for the first time since WM XX. JBL says he lost to Booker T in a tag team match. The last time he lost was before WM, also a tag team match. Booker may be a great tag team wrestler, but one on one, he's not in JBL's league. JBL is the greatest singles wrestler of all time. The WWE Title is a singles title. He defeated Eddie and Taker in singles matches. Booker then comes up to JBL and says he's afraid. He can see it in JBL's eyes! He beat JBL last week, and he'll do it again, but next time, it's going to be for the title. OJ says he's not even in his league. If he wants a piece of JBL, he has to go through OJ! OJ says he's the greatest athlete on SD! Booker tells OJ to make him a sandwich! JBL starts arguing with Booker, and Long tells them to stop it and show him some professionalism. Tonight, it will be Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T! Last week, Long asked Booker to step up, and he did it. If Booker wins tonight, he will earn a shot against JBL at Survivor Series for the WWE Title!

Backstage, Heidenreich is on the phone with Heyman, saying he needs the match against Taker. He's begging Heyman to get Taker to sign the contract. He says "That's what I wanted to hear", so I assume Heyman is going to do it.

Highlights of WWE at universities for the Rock the Vote tour.

We see Heyman at an "undisclosed location" with the contract. He thanks Taker for agreeing to meet him today. He knows he does things in his own way on his own time. After all, he's The Undertaker. He wants him to know that this contract is not his idea, it's Heidenreich's, and it's against Heyman's best judgment because he knows how mad Taker must be. At No Mercy, Heidenreich rammed the truck right into the hearse Taker was in and cost him the chance to be WWE Champion again. That wasn't Heyman's idea, that was Heidenreich's. Right now, Taker must be consumed with rage, and he's the last person on Earth that Heyman wants pushed to that limit. He knows they've had their problems and differences in the past, and he's hoping they'll let bygones be bygones. He brought Taker the contract and has even taken the liberty of signing the contract on behalf of Heidenreich, who he has power of attorney for. If Taker chooses to sign the contract, he'll respect his judgment and wishes. He leaves the contract on the table for Taker. Taker reaches out, grabs the contract, and signs it. As Heyman grabs it, spooky music hits, Taker grabs Heyman, and Taker says he gave him a pass with Paul Bearer, but don't think for one minute he won't take him out. Taker wants Heyman to witness firsthand what happens to those souls who think they can look into the eye of the dragon. What the fuck? This contract is not for a match. It's the execution of Heidenreich. Heyman runs off, and Taker laughs. Geez, how corny.

Highlights of Mick Foley at a public school in Harlem.

2.Rey Mysterio beat Kurt Angle (10:27 shown of 13:59) after a frogsplash by Eddie Guerrero.
Rating: **3/4
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 3:52 to 7:24.
Thoughts: Very good match until all the run-ins ruined it. Some very good competitive wrestling from these two as usual, with Angle using good technique to work the back, and Rey providing some nice high flying offense in his comeback. The beginning part was good too, with some nice comedy, especially well done by Angle. But it ends up making the great wrestling feel worthless when all the run-ins like this divert it from building to a conclusion, especially when the match was building as well as this one was. This would probably have been *** with a real ending.

Backstage, Kenzo walks in on Torrie getting ready for the costume contest.

Highlights of Big Show filming an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise.

A big argument erupts in Long's office over all the run-ins. Long books an old school style match for the PPV, a Survivor Series elimination match! Kurt and Eddie will each choose a four man team for this match. Long tells them to take this nonsense out of his office! That sounds pretty cool. The match, not taking the nonsense out of his office.

Josh Matthews interviews Carlito! Carlito is talking with some guy, who attacks Josh when he asks about Cena. Carlito introduces his associate, Jesus (prounounced "Hey Zeus", not "Jee Zuhs"). Anything he wants to say to Carlito, he can say to him. Josh asks if there's any truth to the rumour that Carlito was in the nightclub when Cena was stabbed. Carlito doesn't like rumours. They're not cool! But Carlito doesn't have anything to hide. Carlito was at the club that night, having a good time too, dancing with the ladies and celebrating his title victory, and that's when Cena showed up. He was acting like a thug. He upset a lot of people that night. He guesses somebody did something about it. But he didn't see anything. When Cena showed up, Carlito left. Cena is a thug, and thugs, they're not cool. Just like Josh. Josh tries to be cool, but he's not cool. Carlito bites the apple (twice!) and spits in Josh's face. Best non-Rey/Angle part of the show so far. Carlito truly is cool!

It's time for the Halloween costume contest! Oh boy! That was sarcasm, folks. Torrie comes out first dressed as an angel or something. Her opponent (fortunately not in a wrestling match) is Dawn Marie, dressed like a nurse. Each woman will have 30 seconds to show the fans their costume. This has been way overdone by now. Why does Torrie even bother wearing skimpy costumes? We've seen her naked! Dawn grabs the mic on her turn and says that her nurse's outfit is not a Halloween costume. This is what she wears while she's nursing her Charlie back to health! Ewww. She says hi to Charlie, and don't worry, she'll be on the first plane back home as soon as SD! is over (which I hope will be soon), because she knows how much he loves her bedside manner. Miss Jackie storms out and spears Dawn, then strips her to bra and panties.

Big Show comes up to Eddie to make sure he makes the right decision. He knows Eddie, RVD, and Rey will be on the team. Nobody has any more issues with Angle, Luther, and Jindrak than Show. He's not asking, he's demanding to be the fourth man. Eddie says he doesn't come and demand it. It's not about Show's personal issues, it's about four men coming together as a team! Eddie says the fourth member is... Big Show!

RAW Rebound gives us Bischoff letting the inmates run the asylum, Evolution declaring themselves in charge, Maven challenging and upsetting Batista, HHH booking Orton/Flair, Flair defeating Orton, and the roster kicking HHH's ass! I missed it, but this looked like a damn good show.

Angle complains to Luther and Jindrak backstage. Spike offers a member of the Dudleys. Angle says Eddie picked Big Show, so they have a very big problem on their hands. If the Dudleys eliminate that big problem, there will be a spot on the team for a Dudley. Spike tells Bubba and D-Von that he has a plan.

Highlights of the Tough Enough contestants from earlier tonight.

3.Booker T beat Orlando Jordan to earn a WWE Title shot (15:17 shown of 18:53) with a scissors kick.
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 5:52 to 9:28.
Thoughts: At this point, I got really tired due to some sleeping problems, so I didn't watch this match very closely, certainly not enough to rate it. It seemed okay but not great from what I saw.

Overall, pretty dull show for the most part, and it certainly didn't keep me awake!

Velocity 10/30/04

1.Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Carlito Caribbean Cool beat Shannon Moore (6:30) with a spinning modified neckbreaker.
Rating: *1/4
Thoughts: Very good singles match, with some good babyface offense by Shannon Moore and great technique by Carlito. Carlito really has a very good sense of how and when to apply holds and utilize moves, as well as how to pace a match. They did a good job of allowing Moore to get some offense in too and bring some suspense to the match, rather than making this a straight squash. Overall exciting match, and Carlito has a lot of heel charisma to make his style work well.

Highlights of the sucky Tough Enough segment from SD!

2.Luther Reigns beat Mike Mondo (2:53) with a spinning neckbreaker.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Total squash, but a very intense one. Reigns has some very intentive offense, and I especially liked his modified half crab. Reigns doesn't go for making a match beautiful and just beats the shit out of the guy, but he comes up with some great stuff in doing it. His squashes always leave you cringing and glad you're not the other guy!

3.Hardcore Holly beat Doug Basham (5:49) with an Alabama Slam.
Rating: 3/4*
Thoughts: Surprisingly good match, as these two really seemed to be on tonight. These two were a bit more charismatic than usual, and they pulled out some good moves and had a nicely flowing match. Doug's slingshot elbow is really great. Not a classic, but a good solid match.

Highlights of Booker T vs. Orlando Jordan from SD!

4.Rob Van Dam beat WWE Tag Team Champion Rene Dupree (6:27) with a Van Daminator.
Rating: **
Thoughts: Another great match from these two, who really know each other so well! I love Dupree's arrogance and how he would pose after every move, and he has some great technique as well. It seemed like he did that more tonight, which made sense, since he was kind of worried when Kenzo was ejected and had to tell himself he's still the man. RVD also had a great comeback. I was shocked to see Dupree move out of the way of the ***** frogsplash, and the ending sequence after that was great. Well paced match, as usual from these two!

Awesome edition of Velocity tonight, with some good matches and a GREAT main event! Nothing bad here at all, and they gave us a good amount of wrestling. I can't say enough for how awesome Carlito and Dupree are. Maybe they should team up. Actually, that would seriously be a cool team. Of course, it's got to be cool with Carlito in it!

RAW 11/1/04

Video package of Evolution taking over RAW last week, Flair/Orton II, and the locker room kicking Evolution's asses!

Backstage during Snitsky's entrance, Regal tells Eugene that everything is legal in a hardcore match. Regal says he's coming with Eugene, but Eugene says he has to do this by himself. Regal tries to convince him, but Eugene insists on going out by himself.

1.Hardcore Match: Gene Snitsky beat Eugene (3:52) with a pumphandle slam.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Not much to this one, but an energetic if too random hardcore match. Obvious squash by Snitsky, but Eugene got some good shots in too. A little fun, but no real substance to it at all, and they didn't get crazy enough to make it a true hardcore match.

After the match, Snitsky tries to do to Eugene what he did to Kane with the chair, but Regal (with knucks!) makes the save.

In an promo apparently taped at WWE headquarters, HHH says he was ganged up on by the locker room in a violent display of jealousy and envy. Anyone that was involved in that attack needs to ask themselves if they did the right thing when they attacked the World Champion. Did they do the right thing when they attacked the biggest star in this industry today? The man whose name is on that marquee, the man bringing the people in the arenas. Did they do the right thing when they attacked the man who is putting the damn food on their family's table? He'll give them some time to think about it, because he will not be in that arena live tonight. Let's see how RAW does without its #1 attraction, its franchise player! And next week, when HHH returns, he expects to be treated like the star that he is. Attitudes had better change, because if they don't, then HHH and Evolution are going to change them. It's in everybody's best interest to realize there is only one diamond in this business, and you're looking at him. And without HHH, RAW is nothing.

Maria from the Diva Search is our newest member of the backstage announce team, and she is interviewing Tajiri! Tajiri says the locker room is mad as hell about HHH's statements, and they're not taking it anymore. They don't care if they never see HHH again, but it's nice to see Maria! Ric Flair comes in to interrupt and tells Maria to leave. Flair says there's no hard feelings about last week, even if Tajiri is one of the guys who jumped HHH. He says let bygones be bygones, and then Batista attacks Tajiri from behind! Batista and Flair then come down to the ring.

Flair says what happened to Tajiri is just the beginning. Last week, he repeats, last week was unacceptable. Whether you like him or don't like him, you all need to respect HHH! He is your World Champion! He is the leader of Evolution! And either Bischoff will restore order to RAW, or Batista and Flair will walk back there and destroy the entire locker room! Bald Bischoff comes out and says he's here for two reasons: business and personal. On the business side of things, with Survivor Series just two weeks ago, he wants to announce the RAW side of the card:
-WWE Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Christian
-WWE Women's Title: Trish Stratus (c) vs. Lita
-Survivor Series Elimination Match: Evolution (World Heavyweight Champion Triple H & Batista), World Tag Team Champion Edge, & Gene Snitsky vs. World Tag Team Champion Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Maven, & Randy Orton

Flair asks if Bischoff left his name out of there by mistake. Bischoff says no, he simply didn't announce his name because he's not on that team. This brings Bischoff to the personal part. Flair may not have liked the way things happened last week, but Bischoff did. So unless there's a match that Bischoff wants to see, like Eugene getting totally decimated by Gene Snitsky, he'll continue to let the inmates run the asylum. Flair comes out and orders Bischoff to do something about last week, and normally he would, but as he was sitting getting his head shaved, he was thinking about where Evolution was. The answer was nowhere. He asks exactly what kissing Evolution's ass for the last two and a half years has gotten him. Absolutely nothing! That's also what war is good for. So from now on, Bischoff answers to no one but himself. After the PPV, he's giving himself a one month vacation, but the winning team will win absolute control, because each week in his absence, control will go to the individuals on the winning team, and they can make any match they want, no questions asked. Batista says if Maven, Jericho, & Benoit were in charge of RAW, all they'd do would make title matches for themselves against HHH, but Orton can't do that, because of his loss to a very famous man, but he'd stop at nothing to see HHH lose so he can get his title match. Batista strongly suggests Bischoff reconsider that stipulation. Bischoff asks if that's a threat, and Batista says it's whatever he wants it to be. Bischoff strongly suggests Batista concentrates on making sure his team is the winning team, because HHH may say that without him, RAW is nothing, but without the World Title, HHH is nothing. Bischoff finally going against Evolution is an interesting twist here. This could set up some pretty intriguing stuff.

2.Christian beat The Hurricane (4:03) with an Unprettier.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Not much to this one due to Edge's distraction, but I still had to laugh at how they kept wrestling. They had a decent match too, and then got about a minute to wrestle without Edge's distraction at the end. Not much going on due to the length and Edge, but still a solid match.

After the match, Shelton comes out and scares Christian off. Christian says if Shelton wants a piece of him, it won't happen. He stole Christian's vote, but if he really wants to go, Tomko is hurt, but Christian has a one night only problem solver: Viscera! Viscera hits a corner splash and a front slam on Shelton, and Christian and Viscera emerge victorious. I've gotta admit, that was a cool little surprise.

Backstage, Todd Grisham interviews Edge and asks if he'll team with Benoit against La Resistance. Edge says baby, he's a star! Did you see that? And he's back better than ever, and ready to defend the title. Grisham brings out Edge bailing on Benoit, and Edge says he guesses that it should be an easy title defense. If Benoit can beat La Resistance on his own, imagine what he can do with a partner, especially an 11 time World Tag Team Champion. Chris comes up to him with the belts (which still have La Resistance's names on them), and Edge takes one. Edge pimps his book and says that if Benoit doesn't watch himself, he may be defending the belts by himself tonight.

Also backstage, Maven enters Evolution's locker room and asks if they need to be reminded what happened last week. Flair says nobody walks into Evolution's locker room and talks to them like that, but behind them are Orton and Jericho! Jericho says Evolution was right about strength in numbers. Orton says they need to worry about the PPV match, and after that, Evolution may not even have a future.

We see the newest sponsor of RAW, Simon Dean! Simon says for the past few weeks, we've seen his commercials, but he's here to introduce himself personally! He's chosen Peoria, IL, for his first live infomercial! And tonight, he'll choose one lucky person to receive a one year supply of his patented Simon System! He points to a guy in the crowd and asks if he stands up or sits down when he urinates. Either way, it's been quite a while since he's actually seen his own penis! If he uses his Simon System Fitno-Powder, he'll have him seeing his own penis in 90 days, guaranteed! He tells a woman that with all that fat on her arms, can she even shave her own armpits? He can smell her from here! It smells kind of cheesy! What kind of cheese is that? Fromunder cheese? His product is the best product on the market, but it's no miracle cure! There's no hope for her! He then points to another guy. From the looks of his horrendous dental hygeine, he spends too much time eating and not enough time brushing his own teeth! He asks if it's hereditary and if his mom and dad are cousins. The guy tries to jump the rail and is blocked by security, and Simon tells them to let him in. Simon says he has a background in amateur wrestling, so that guy should wipe that look off his face. He asks what his name is, and he says Matt. He asks where he's from, and he says right there in Peoria! Matt has never tried the patented Simon System! Simon asks if he'd like to try it, and Matt says no. Simon thinks he should, and he'll prove it! He tells Matt to take off his shirt, and Matt tells him to take off his. Simon will take his off in a minute, but Matt first! Simon says he could use some Lean Dean Cream for his skin condition! If he uses his patented Simon System for 30 days, it'll help him get rid of the jiggly man-boobs! Matt knocks him down, and Simon comes back with an amateur takedown and a submission hold! Awesome segment! Simon Dean rules!

3.World Tag Team Title: La Resistance (Robert Conway & Sylvain Grenier) beat Chris Benoit & Edge (c) to win the title (6:58 shown of 10:01) when Grenier pinned Benoit after an Au Revoir.
Rating: *1/4
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, form 3:08 to 6:11.
Thoughts: This was more of a storyline match than an actual match, so they mostly did some basic stuff to fill time, but it was still a good match overall, with Benoit starting out good but getting beaten down and making his usual good comeback. The stuff with Edge and Lawler was a distraction but helped establish Edge's heel character, so it's forgiveable. Not a bad match, but as with Christian/Hurricane, the focus wasn't on the match very much, so that hurt it. On the one hand, I don't like when they do that, but on the other hand, they're doing some good stuff with Edge, so it balances out.

After the match, Edge hits Benoit with a Tag belt. I'll be honest, I'm loving Edge's heel stuff tonight. Edge continues to pummel Benoit, leaving him bloody. Benoit makes a comeback, and Edge spears him. But that's not it! Edge keeps attacking Benoit. I've got to ask where Jericho, Maven, and Orton are to help Benoit. Edge locks Benoit in his own Crippler Crossface, and he taps out!

Moments ago, Edge hit Benoit with a Tag belt and locked him in his own Crippler Crossface. Edge is really pumping up the heel intensity tonight, and I love it! During the break, Benoit walked out on his own, bloody but to a standing ovation.

Bischoff is talking with Coach in his office when Flair comes up to him. Flair asks if he's crazy with the stipulation at the PPV. Bischoff says it doesn't seem like Flair is confident in Evolution. Flair is confident in Evolution, but he says guys like Jericho and Orton need to be punished. He can't imagine that team running RAW a week at a time. Bischoff says he won't repudiate his stipulation. Bischoff says he's giving power to the superstars, and they want to give it back to him! His vacation plans are set in stone, so the stipulation stands. Tonight, it will be Maven, Jericho, & Orton vs. Evolution! Batista says HHH isn't here, and Bischoff says he's not buying it. If HHH shows up, everything's even. If not, Batista & Flair are in a handicap match!

Promo vignette for Muhammed Hassan, an Arab-American who grew up in America. Since 9/11, we tend to generalize and stereotype people like him. He implores us not to confuse him with acts of terrorism here in America and around the world. He's asking us to give him the opportunity to represent us in WWE. Praise Allah! They're about three years too late for this gimmick. He asks to please be respectful as his manager translates for his Arab brothers.

Survivor Series card rundown:
-WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) vs. Booker T
-The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich
-Classic Survivor Series Elimination Match: Eddie Guerrero's Team (Eddie Guerrero, Rob Van Dam, Rey Mysterio, & The Big Show) vs. Kurt Angle's Team (Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, & a fourth man of Angle's choice)
-WWE Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Christian
-WWE Women's Title: Trish Stratus (c) vs. Lita
-Classic Survivor Series Elimination Match (winning team has each member run RAW for a week): Evolution (World Heavyweight Champion Triple H & Batista), Gene Snitsky, & Edge vs. Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven, & Randy Orton

Earlier tonight, Christian unleashed Viscera on Shelton Benjamin! Up next is Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera!

4.Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin beat Viscera (4:23) with a Dragonwhip.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Viscera sucks, and Shelton couldn't do a damn thing with him. It would have been awesome if Shelton had T-boned Viscera. I would have given this at least 1/4* for that. Viscera should be used only in a bodyguard role and not as a wrestler.

After the match, Christian attacks Shelton and tries the Unprettier, but Shelton counters into a T-bone!

SD! Rebound shows us the Tough Enough segment and nothing else, not even Booker T's win over OJ which gave him the title shot against JBL. Basically the whole show except Angle/Rey sucked anyway, and even that was ruined by the ending.

In a nice touch, one of those little commercial type highlight segments is brought to us by The Simon System!

Trish comes out and says she's here tonight to address her friends and family who have just been worried sick ever since they found out she'd be facing Lita. The concern that her title and career, and her life, may be in jeopardy. They may be right. She presents to us Lita, the walking kiss of death, and we see a highlight video narrated by Trish. Starting with Essa Rios, who was eventually never seen again. Then Lita was with The Hardy Boyz, who broke up. Lita guest starred on Dark Angel, and afterward, it was immediately cancelled. She came back to RAW, and Matt Hardy was sent to the hospital, his career in jeopardy. Then she got married to Kane, and later on, ding dong, the freak is dead! Awesome segment, including getting to see Essa Rios and Jeff Hardy! Trish says Lita is more than a walking kiss of death. Lita, above everything else, is a loser, and come the PPV, she'll lose to Trish just like she lost her nerve and just like she lost her BABY! Haha! So since she won't be getting her title, chubby, she can get a box of donuts... but Lita's music hits! Lita attacks Trish, but Gail Kim comes out, and Lita fights her off until Trish goes for the double team. Gail holds Lita for a Trish kick to the gut and Chick Kick.

Highlights of the SmackDown! Your Vote campaign. The election is tomorrow, so get out and vote!

5.Handicap Match: Chris Jericho, Maven, & Randy Orton beat Evolution (Batista & Ric Flair) (10:44) when Orton used an RKO on Batista.
Rating: **1/4
Thoughts: Fun main event with the babyfaces finally turning the tables on Evolution! Not a classic or anything, but a good, fast-paced, entertaining match. The faces pulled some classic Evolution tactics to get back at them, and Orton and Flair were the MVPs here, with Flair at his best and Orton the same. Fun way to end the show with a very energetic main event.

After the match, Batista shoves Flair down! Between this and HHH not even showing up, could Evolution be totally breaking up?

Overall good show, and although there wasn't much from the in-ring aspect besides the main event (and I guess the Tag Title match), this was a very intriguing show that set up some good stuff for Survivor Series and feuds in general. It's starting to get a bit unpredictable, and that's exactly what they need. RAW seems to be heading in an interesting direction, and only time will tell exactly what happens. But tonight was fun!

Turning Point 12/5/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-14T22:09:00.000-06:00

Video package hyping the six-man tag match, including Jarrett, Hall, and Nash dressed like Elvis! Pretty well-done video highlighting the various feuds involved. Also a pretty cool lights and fireworks show to start live in the arena. In what is a pretty good idea, the announcers discuss the card, including the X Division Title match, the Six Sides of Steel match, and the six-man tag match.

We go outside to a limo arriving, with a fake Vince McMahon! He and a fake HHH are greeted by Abyss carrying balloons.

Tag Lines:
-Rematch from Victory Road
-Can Canada handle The Truth?
-Will youth be served or will experience rule?

BG James does his usual intro, saying this is where we play, and we play for keeps. He does some of Konnan's lines since he couldn't be here and says let's kick that old school poopoo with a little new age swing! He does a modified New Age Outlaws intro for the 3 Live Kru!

1.NWA World Tag Team Title: Team Canada (Eric Young & Bobby Roode) beat 3 Live Kru (Ron Killings & BG James) (c) to win the title (8:30) when Roode pinned James after Johnny Devine hit him with a flag.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: Fun, energetic opener. Killings did some great athletic stuff here, and Team Canada are a good heel team. BG James was entertaining here and actually pretty solid, and these two teams combined for a fun, well-paced match. Marred a bit by the ending, but the match as a whole was pretty good, though not a technical classic.

Shane Douglas interviews Dusty Rhodes about what he has planned for tonight. Dusty says this is the most electrifying night in the history of television, in the history of PPV, if you will, in public! When we take a look at the Kings of Wrestling, and at the young AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy, with "The Macho Man" Randy Savage, it's going to be a night to remember! Dusty says the fans have spoken, hit the Internet like it's a crazy machine, and he just heard that a limo from up north in the Evil Empire pulled into his parking lot. He's going to walk outside, and if they want some of it, they need to come get some of it! Hilarious interview as usual by Dusty.

Video package highlights leading up to the next match, including the Piper/Snuka segment from Victory Road.

2.Sonny Siaki, Hector Garza, & Sonjay Dutt beat Kid Kash, Michael Shane, & Kazarian (11:01) when Garza used a Tornado on Kazarian.
Rating: **1/4
Thoughts: Very good X Division tag match with some great fast-paced technical wrestling between Sonjay and Kash at the beginning, great psychology with the heels working on Sonjay's left arm, and a good comeback with some great spots. A good mix of the inventive action of the X Division with some basic wrestling psychology for an interesting match. And Traci is hot. Hector's HHH ripoff tights are weird though.

Scott Hudson interviews Randy Savage backstage, who says the six-man tag will be the turning point for his team. They won't be beaten down on his watch!

Scott Hudson does another interview, with Petey Williams and Scott D'Amore. He says that he and Sabin trained together and had the same coach, but now he's not a one move wonder, he's the X Division Champ, and he'll find that out the same way AJ Styles did. D'Amore says no one knows a pupil better than the teacher, and when he decided who to keep training, he looked at the fact that Petey is a winner, and Scott D'Amore only backs winners.

Video package highlights of the Monster's Ball match from Victory Road and Jarrett/Monty from Impact!

Monty Brown calls Abyss "Obese", and says he's going to say this real slow so he can keep up. He doesn't know how they do it in Parts Unknown, but wherever The Alpha Male is, so is the Serengeti, so he's got an idea for the Hungry Hungry Hippo. Why doesn't he come down there and take some of the Serengeti right now?

3.Serengeti Survival: Monty Brown beat Abyss (12:16) with an Alpha Bomb onto thumbtacks.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Fun brawl at times, but it also lagged considerably at times. Not a very good flow to this, but some great-looking spots. This match would have been better with a few more minutes shaved off, but not bad overall. Kind of like Kane vs. Gene Snitsky in some ways, and this is generally the type of match you get when you book two big men against each other and give them a lot of time. Still some nasty stuff with the chair, table, and thumbtacks, and the stipulation allowed them to have a better match than they probably would have had without the weapons, but this felt like more of a collection of spots than a competitive match.

The fake Vince orders the fake HHH to smash a tape, but sees that it's only a "Best of D-Ray 3000" tape.

4.Pat Kenney & Johnny B. Badd beat The New York Connection (Glenn Gilberti & Johnny Swinger) (8:00) when Badd used a TKO on Gilberti.
Special referee: Jacqueline
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Decent and somewhat solid match, but pretty unexciting and ran too long. Not a good idea to put what's basically a jobber match in the middle of a PPV like this. It doesn't help that these guys all have shitty gimmicks right now. Overall a pretty forgettable match, but not horrible.

Backstage, the Kings of Wrestling kidnap Randy Savage.

Video package of the DDP/Raven feud.

5.Diamond Dallas Page beat Raven (11:59) with a Diamond Cutter.
Rating: **1/2
Thoughts: Good match, but not the classic I was expecting. There was a nice sense of competition between these two, trading some good moves, but the interference of the hooded guys and Erik Watts hurt it. I preferred once this match went in the ring and away from the weapons, and they had a good few minutes there. Nice ending too, with DDP reversing the Raven Effect attempt into the Diamond Cutter. The near falls of both men hitting their finishers was a good touch too. Overall a good solid match, but it could have been more with a little more actual in-ring time and without the heat-killing interference. The physical limitations of both men now compared to their time in WCW also played a factor, however.

Traci offers cookies to the fake Vince and fake HHH.

X-Factors:
-Ex-champ challenges for "X" Championship
-Now we go to school
-Can Sabin's counter destroy the Canadian?

6.NWA-TNA X Division Title: Petey Williams (c) beat Chris Sabin (18:11) with a brass knucks shot.
Rating: ***1/4
Thoughts: Great match up until the disappointing ending with D'Amore's interference and the knucks. This is the type of match that did not need an ending like that. This match helped tell a very interesting story, of Petey proving that he's about more than the Canadian Destroyer with an array of moves. This match was different from the usual X Division match, as a lot of the moves were just basic moves jazzed up X Division style, but it was still very effective. Great athleticism here with the usual X Division innovation, and this actually got a very good amount of time. I wish the finish would have done more with the Canadian Destroyer vs. counter issue instead of just a cheap knucks shot, but overall great competition between these two.

A midget beats up the fake Vince.

Video package hyping the six-man tag.

7.AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, & Randy Savage beat The Kings of Wrestling (NWA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett, Kevin Nash, & Scott Hall) (17:56) when Savage countered a Jarrett sunset flip.
Rating: **
Thoughts: A better match than most people give it credit for! Despite Savage's shitty performance at the end (including the worst sleeperhold ever), this was actually a fun mayhem match. The best stuff was between Styles and Jarrett, but Nash and Hall actually weren't too bad here as well, not having to do much but still putting on a decent performance. Well, decent by Nash's standards. Not much out of Hardy, but he wasn't in much anyway. This was about as well booked as you could get with some of these guys (Nash, Savage), and while it wasn't a technical wrestling classic, it was a mostly fun match. Savage should never step in the ring again though. Still, not the horrible match I was expecting.

Pretty funny commercial for Final Resolution next month.

We finally see the video footage of TNA welcoming WWE. All WWE employees were blurred out, including Rey Mysterio! Extremely uncontroversial stuff.

Video package leading up to the AMW/XXX match.

8.Six Sides of Steel: America's Most Wanted (Chris Harris & James Storm) beat Triple X (Christopher Daniels & PrimeTime) (21:06) when Storm pinned PrimeTime after a Powerplex.
Stipulation: The losing team can no longer team in TNA.
Rating: *****
Thoughts: This match makes the original AMW/XXX cage match look like Tyson Tomko vs. Steven Richards. Totally fucking awesome match from start to finish. Amazingly incredible intensity from all four men in a bloody and brutal match. And they actually used the cage a lot to wear each other down and tear each other apart, something you don't always see nowadays. I loved the segment where they had Harris in the handcuffs and were teasing him with the key, and even using it as a weapon! And they had a nice thing at the end with Daniels, the man who had the key, getting locked in the handcuffs at the end! And of course, the totally awesome spots, including the FUCKING HOLY SHIT headscissors by PrimeTime off the cage! The greatest match in TNA history and one of the best matches of the year. This is what wrestling should be about, when you can literally feel the brutality and hatred. These two teams really showed the fact that they were fighting for the right to team together and really sacrificed it all to keep their teams together. If you haven't seen this match, SEE IT, DAMMIT! I may have overrated a couple of matches (Benoit/HHH Iron Man, Jericho/Christian ladder) at *****, but I feel this one is truly a ***** match. Congratulations to TNA and all four men for an incredible match.

Not the best PPV of the year altogether (that honour still goes to WrestleMania XX, which also had a ***** main event), but wow, that was a fucking awesome main event. Solid undercard with some good matches too, for an overall great PPV. Not much crap here except for the jobbers tag and a few of the match endings, and they ended on a high note with that incredible main event, which is probably the third best match of the year behind the WM XX main event and the Rumble. Two thumbs way up to TNA on this one, and the main event alone was well worth the $30 and better than the entire Armageddon (or any of this year's SD! PPVs). Amazing.

RAW 12/13/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-13T22:10:00.000-06:00

"I'm Back" finally fits Bischoff again, as he's back after his vacation! He walks to the ring with the World Title belt, which for some reason STILL has Triple H's name on it. He complains about coming back to this: new Tag Champs, a new Women's Champ, and a vacated World Title. He recaps for those of us who don't know how it occurred. Two weeks ago, there was a very controversial triple threat match where all three competitors could lay claim to the title. One man clearly made his opponent tap out, and that man is Chris Benoit. But one man clearly had Benoit pinned, and that man is Edge. But the man who was really not part of the decision itself, but traditionally, when there is a tie, the World Title goes back to the man who held it at the time, that man is Triple H. Vince wants Bischoff to decide who the champ is, and that's actually what he will do. But we see a backstage segment with HHH, Benoit, and Edge standing together. HHH says that to be the man, you've gotta beat the man, and he didn't get pinned or submit, so the title is his. If Bischoff awards the title to either Benoit or Edge, it's only a matter of time until he beats him. Benoit says the only thing HHH has proven lately is that he's damn good at hitting someone with a chair from behind. Edge says HHH and Benoit have fought over the title all year, and he hasn't had the opportunity. They've blown their opportunities, the title should be his. Edge attacks Benoit, and HHH gets in the mix for a three-way brawl backstage! Referees and agents (including Dean Malenko!) finally break it up. Bischoff says they'll have a rematch from last week: HHH & Batista vs. Jericho & Benoit. Bischoff says Edge wanted to start the fight, so his match with Orton is next! Once Bischoff gets control of the show, he will announce the decision regarding the World Title. Well, that wasn't a very good start to the show. What's the point of having that tag match again?

1.Randy Orton beat Edge (15:14 shown of 17:47) with an RKO.
Rating: ****
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 3:28 to 6:01.
Thoughts: Awesome, totally competitive match. Starting off with an awesome beginning with Orton dominating Edge and telling the story with his facial expressions, continuing with some good well-executed holds on the part of Orton and Edge, and a very suspenseful last few minutes with some good counters of each man's moves. So many little details added to the match, and it really felt like a personal contest, serving the dual purpose of letting each man gain revenge on the other and showing Bischoff why each one of them should be the champion. Totally awesome match with a hot crowd and tremendous psychology (which is what makes a match like this ****), and I'm glad it actually had a clean finish, which I wasn't expecting.

Flair tells HHH he has to explain to Bischoff that he is a movie star, a bestselling author, and the greatest wrestler today. He is the only Real World Champion. Batista says he wouldn't do that if he was him. HHH asks if he'd have him go into Bischoff's office begging and pleading. Batista says he wouldn't tell him to beg to anybody, but to be The Game. Big deal if Bischoff wants to book a rematch. HHH needs to dominate as only he can. He needs to not tell him who should be the World Champ, but show him. And when he's in the ring with his hands held high, they'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt who the real champion is.

Video package highlighting recent RAW house shows.

Christy, Melina, and Maria are in the ring, and Christy has a T-shirt gun. Wow, what a way to follow up a **** match. Apparently they aren't going to do anything with them, which is a good thing, as the announcers talk about what's going to happen tonight. Actually, they are, as Gene Snitsky gets in the ring! YES!!!!!! Snitsky says don't be scared, girls. He doesn't want them to be like everybody else on the roster who's too scared to face him in a match. They're just afraid he's going to do to them like he did to Kane, or worse yet, Lita's baby. Man, Snitsky is fucking awesome. But don't get him wrong, he likes to have fun. He loves having fun! And tonight, he's going to have some fun with them. But don't worry, he's not going to hurt them. He just wants to have some fun. Shoot the gun a little, dance a little, come on, play that music again! Snitsky asks Christy to show him how to work the gun and grabs her by the throat! He forgot to tell her, he's not having fun unless somebody's suffering. And that somebody is her! But the new Women's Champ, Lita, comes out! She says Snitsky is so tough. Last week he intimidates Lita, this week Christy. Picking on women must make him feel like a really big man, so he must be kind of frustrated after last week, because despite all his efforts, she is the new Women's Champ! I think they should have Snitsky vs. Lita in a match. But since Lita wants to fight so bad, she does have some good news for him. She got a message from her husband Kane. He wanted her to let him know he's coming back, and when he does, Kane is going to beat the holy hell out of him. Snitsky throws Christy down, letting us get a glimpse of her undies. Snitsky runs after Lita, but a big wall of flames representing Kane stops him. Snitsky is the man. He plays his role so perfectly. And the only thing Christy is good for is to be used to let segments like this happen. And to show her undies.

Segment on Blade: Trinity. Jessica Biel continues to be hot.

Christian bitches to Tomko about how he could have been IC Champ last week, but Jericho made him look like a moron. Tomko says he thinks no one will remember, but when Christian runs into Eugene, he remembers him as Captain Charisma! He asks for his autograph, when out of nowhere, Mick Foley shows up! Eugene goes crazy for him. Eugene names his four favourite wrestlers: Mick Foley, The Rock, Papa Shango, and "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton (because he's from right here in Huntsville!) Christian is livid over the lack of respect.

Bischoff gives Simon Dean his RAW contract. Simon says he knows exactly what he's doing, because he couldn't think of a better way to promote his patented Simon System than competing on RAW. Benoit barges in wanting to talk about the World Title. Two years ago, Bischoff literally gave that title to HHH, and he hopes he isn't thinking about doing that again. It's the World Title. Benoit waited EIGHTEEN YEARS for the opportunity to win that! He suggests a triple threat rematch tonight. But if Bischoff goes out there and gives that title away to anyone, it'll just prove to Benoit that Bischoff is just as spineless as everyone says he is. Who says Benoit can't cut a good promo?

Lillian Garcia plays it smart and, this time, doesn't announce HHH as "the former World Heavyweight Champion"!

2.Evolution (Batista & Triple H) beat Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho (13:53 shown of 16:54) when Batista used a spinebuster on Benoit.
Rating: ***1/2
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 6:59 to 10:00.
Thoughts: Awesome, well-paced, hot tag team match. Some great stuff here, including those tremendous whips into the turnbuckle, HHH's cheating antics with the abdominal stretch, and a great tease of the hot tag. Everyone was very intense and on top of their game here, and Flair added a lot to the match, going crazy right before the commercial. Very interesting and exciting tag team match with a great ending, and a good detail after the match with the look on HHH's face seeing that Batista was the one with his hand raised at the end.

Mick Foley comes to the ring! What would the holidays be without a cheap Mick Foley book pop? He has an important announcement to make, but his book is not it. He's not saying it wouldn't make a great Christmas gift idea, but what he's saying is that, even though he's been known off and on as a RAW guy, next week, he's going to make a temporary jump over to SD! The fans, in a very revealing moment, boo SD! I don't blame them. We see highlights of SD! in Baghdad last year to show the special SD! this will be. The fans cheer that. Foley might seem like an unlikely candidate to go overseas in support of our troops, since he wouldn't be called a pro-war person, and he still has a few cases of John Kerry bumper stickers in his garage (which gets booed), but he mentions that this is a red state to get the pop back. He knows that supporting the troops goes beyond any type of political affiliation, and he looks at it as one of the greatest privileges of his life to entertain the brave men and women who put their lives on the line for us every single day. Some Arabic music hits, to obviously bring us Muhammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari. Oh joy. The fans respond with "USA" chants. I just know this is going to be something tremendously offensive (like Ivory's comments on Heat last night). Daivari speaks in Arabic, and Hassan says he has had enough. He's had to listen to these lies, and now we're going to listen to him, like it or not. He used to be just like Mick Foley, and just like all the people. He used to blindly support the troops, and he used to blindly support this country, right up until 9/11. After 9/11, he was forced to open his eyes to the truth. This is no longer the land of the free, and this is no longer the home of the brave. He is a prisoner in his own country, and he feels our patriotism at every airport, on every corner, and especially right now. The fans don't give a shit about all this and instead respond with "What?" chants. Hilarious. Foley says he can see some sense in a couple of things he says, but by and large, he disagrees with every word, but isn't it wonderful he lives in a country like the US where he's free to express his views no matter how stupid they sound? Foley says they annoyed him a little bit, but what really gets him is that they chose to come out and interrupt his mic time after an eight month absence. Hassan is glad he interrupted Foley, because he's sick of hearing his support for the troops, who he calls gutless cowards and infidels! Wow, this is horrible. Foley says those troops fought and died to give him the right to shoot his mouth off. Foley and Daivari argue, with Foley giving names of individual troops throughout history. Hassan says Foley supports an evil and unjust war (he doesn't even support the war, dude!), and Foley says he supports the land of the free, except for one place, one 20 foot by 20 foot ring! Some call it the squared circle, he calls it Foley Island, and should they step inside Foley Island, democracy no longer reigns. Should they choose to wander into Foley Island, they have the right to feel his fist in their mouth. And they have got the right to feel his boot in their ass. So if they're feeling gutsy, come on, walk on ashore, Foley Island awaits them! Hassan takes off some clothes, and Daivari tries to stop him. Hassan says no, he doesn't think he will, because he will not fight a man that he doesn't respect. Hassan and Daivari walk off. Wow, this angle is just horrendously offensive. Great job using 9/11 for your own personal benefit, Vince! At least Foley showed some great emotion here, but this segment was just totally asinine. If I rated segments, I'd give this -*****.

Video package highlights of Trish vs. Lita from last week. One of the best women's matches I've ever seen. Todd Grisham interviews Trish and asks her how she feels about losing the title. Trish gives the stock answer "How do you think I feel?" She calls him Tom, and he corrects her. She threatens to slap the glasses off him, and she says that Lita had to almost kill herself just to beat her. She's the greatest women's wrestler ever, and she will get her title back.

Bischoff talks with Rachelle, who is from Los Angeles. They talk about where she's from, but Edge comes in to interrupt. He says he deserves the title, and Bischoff asks him what makes him think he deserves it. He goes back to Taboo Tuesday, where he should have been voted in. Bischoff says the fans voted, and Edge asks what the fans know. Edge says Benoit's feet hit first in the battle royal, but Orton made it into a triple threat match. Bischoff says let's talk about Orton, but Edge says that match doesn't count. He ended Orton's IC Title reign and left him in the dust. Bischoff says after the next match, he'll make his final decision, and he's going to give Edge something he never had before. Well, Elimination Chamber is now totally obvious.

3.Maven, Christian, & Tyson Tomko beat WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin & World Tag Team Champions William Regal & Eugene (7:19) when Maven used a schoolboy on Benjamin.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: Fun little match, with Eugene's usual antics, including Mr. Socko! Christian played a great heel here as well, and Benjamin provided for a nice babyface comeback. It was weird that Regal had almost no involvement. Still, a good solid and fun tag match overall, though not a classic or anything. Nice upset victory by Maven, which could lead to an IC Title match.

58% of fans polled think Bischoff should arrange a triple threat rematch. It's obvious what match will happen though, and I'm calling it now: Elimination Chamber match with Triple H, Batista, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Randy Orton, and Edge. Bischoff prepares to walk to the ring with the belt, and HHH comes up to him and tells him to please make the right decision. He looks like he's about to cry. HHH knows they've had their differences in the past, but the World Title is his life. Being World Champion is all that he is. He's asking Bischoff to make the right decision. He's a 9-time World Champion, and RAW's his show. He seems to be fighting back tears this whole time. Benoit and Edge are just wrestlers, but HHH is a household name. Bischoff says he'll take everything HHH told him into consideration. Whenever someone says that, it means they haven't even listened to you at all. Trust me, I know from experience.

Commercial for Best of RAW 2004 next Monday night. Lawler says we'll see the main event of Survivor Series, Lita vs. Trish, and more.

Bischoff is once again back, and he once again is carrying the belt. Bischoff asks who's going to be the World Heavyweight Champion. It's time to make that decision. He would like the three men who were involved in the controversial championship triple threat match to come down to the ring right now: Edge, Chris Benoit, and HHH (who comes out with Flair and Batista). Bischoff says he asked HHH to come down to the ring alone, but HHH says it's okay, Evolution and he are one and the same. Evolution is a part of him. When Evolution succeeds, he succeeds, and vice versa. It doesn't matter whether it's Batista, The Nature Boy, or The Game, together they have more wins than both of those guys combined, and above all else, the World Champ should be a winner. The choice is pretty obvious. Bischoff says that's interesting, but a different approach than the one he had in his office. Bischoff talks about the choices. The first choice was Benoit's idea, a triple threat match, but that's just not what he wanted to do. Edge's choice was to just hand the belt over, but from a business point of view, that would be too risky, given that he never held the title before. Which brings him to his third choice. HHH says that a win for Evolution is a win for him, right? On January 9, 2005, we're going to have a PPV called New Year's Revolution, and at this PPV, there will be a match that's a proven commodity, that will prove without a shadow of a doubt who deserves to be World Champ. It's something that he likes to call the Elimination Chamber. Well, we all knew that was coming. The World Title will be vacant until then, when we have one of, if not the, biggest title matches in RAW history, featuring Chris Benoit, Edge, Triple H, Chris Jericho, and Evolution's own Batista! And last, but not least, RANDY ORTON! Bischoff's music hits, as Evolution is not happy with the result. Flair runs down to try to argue with Bischoff. Benoit attacks HHH and Edge, and Batista joins the brawl. The heels beat down on Benoit, and Jericho joins in. HHH backs out on the ramp, but Orton is here! Orton brawls with him down the ramp and puts him in the ring. Now it's just the two of them! Orton is about to hit the RKO, but Batista attacks him, and Orton RKOs Batista! Orton stands tall to end the show.

I can't really argue with a show that provides two ***1/2+ matches. Despite the shitty Muhammud Hassan segment and the totally obvious World Title solution, we saw some great wrestling tonight, and that's what it's all about in the end. Great show, but mostly just for those two matches.

Heat 12/12/04 Results and Thoughts (Match Only)

2004-12-12T20:43:00.000-06:00

1.Akio & Billy Kidman beat Chavo Guerrero & Paul London (5:45) when Akio used a spinkick on Guerrero.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Good fast-paced cruiserweight match. This didn't have the personal intensity of the recent tag matches on the past few weeks on Velocity, but it still showcased some good action and great moves. Nice hilo over the top rope by London, assisted by Chavo to give him a boost. The ending was a shock, with Akio getting a rare victory, but it worked well. WWE is doing some good stuff with the cruiserweights, but they need to give it more exposure than just Velocity and Heat.

Velocity 12/11/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-11T23:07:00.000-06:00

Video package highlights of the Kidman/London feud, including highlights from No Mercy. This big rematch takes place on a weekend show nobody watches, instead of the PPV the next night (which will also be watched by nobody)! Another example of WWE's great booking! And it isn't even getting main event status! It's the opener! Wow, what a fucking waste of what could have been a very hot PPV or at least SD! match. Hell, if they had held this feud off for a few months, this could even have been at WM 21! So much for that idea.

1.Paul London beat Billy Kidman (6:18) with a 450 splash.
Rating: **1/2
Thoughts: Awesome cruiserweight match, just as I expected. Way too short, but still a totally great match. London was EXTREMELY INTENSE at the beginning of the match, probably as intense as I've seen anybody be in the ring. Kidman had some good heel offense too, working on London's ribs to set him up for the SSP. That abdominal stretch was one of the best of those I've ever seen, due in large part not only to Kidman's great execution, but London's awesome selling, making it really seem like he was in anguish. Nice ending, perfect for a big blowoff match, with the SSP missing and London hit the 450 in a big way! Totally great match with some awesome moves, but 1/2 to 1/3 of the time it actually needed, and on the wrong show, as I said above. It's bad enough that they broke up the awesome team of London & Kidman way too soon, but then they put the big blowoff match on fucking VELOCITY! How cocksuckingly stupid is that? If they had held the team over for a few months and then done this, maybe broken them up around this time and had the No Mercy match at Royal Rumble, then they could have had this blowoff match at fucking WM 21. In a way, this match was very disappointing, but ONLY because of the lack of time and totally wrong placement of the match, and not in ANY way due to Kidman and London, who put on an awesome match with what little time they had. Very well-done blowoff match as far as the actual wresting in the match, if not the booking.

Highlight video for recent SD! house shows. Then we go to a Tough Enough highlight video to hype up tomorrow night's Dixie Dog Fight.

2.Non-Title: WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley beat C.W. Anderson (5:53) with a Dudley Dawg.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: Geez, this is probably the best show of the week as far as in-ring wrestling! Not only is this a good novelty ECW reunion match, but it was actually a very good match on its own, and C.W. did a great job of selling Spike's offense and making it look realistic despite the huge size difference. When C.W. got on offense, he pulled out some great moves, including a WICKED spinebuster! Some good near falls teasing an upset by C.W., but Spike got the win in the end. Very good and competitive match. WWE should hire C.W. Anderson full-time. Actually, they probably shouldn't, since they'd fuck him over like they do every other good wrestler they have.

Actually, I probably could just turn the TV off right now, since the only other match is going to be Luther Reigns vs. Hardcore Holly. Actually, that could be entertaining if Holly wants to get stiff with Reigns. Reigns could tear that little dipshit apart. It won't be as good as the previous two matches though, that's for sure.

Highlights of JBL, OJ, & The Bashams vs. Undertaker, Eddie, & Booker T. I've got to be honest, JBL plays the shit-scared heel pretty well.

-WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) vs. The Undertaker vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T
-WWE Tag Team Title: Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree
-Dixie Dogfight: Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin
-WWE Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley (c) vs. Funaki
-Special referee Charlie Haas: Dawn Marie vs. Miss Jackie
-Handicap Match: The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, & Mark Jindrak
-WWE United States Title Street Fight: John Cena (c) vs. Jesus (no, not Christ! It's not even pronounced the same! Although wouldn't it be a cool gimmick if Jesus changed the pronounciation of his name to that? But seeing how well Mordecai's gimmick worked, I don't think religious characters actually work very well in wrestling. They might work if they don't have a lisp.)

With the amount of time left, it looks like Reigns/Holly will be over ten minutes. Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

3.Luther Reigns beat Hardcore Holly (7:13 shown of 10:46) with a reverse spinning neckbreaker.
Rating: *
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 3:06 to 6:39.
Thoughts: Suprisingly not a bad match at all! Both men were on top of their game, with Holly pulling a performance above his average, and putting together a solid competitive match. Not a ton of excitement behind it, but not really boring, with some good back and forth wrestling and good armwork by Reigns following up on the shots to the ringpost and steel steps. Reigns brought out the best in Holly for a main event that was much better than I expected. No matter how many people think Luther Reigns is boring or sucks, I think he's not bad at all and has a lot of potential.

Overall, an awesome edition of Velocity, with two great matches and a suprisingly good (considering the length and participants) main event. The fact that they're putting all the awesome cruiserweight matches on Velocity is bad for WWE in general, as they could be using those much better, but great for Velocity. Velocity is actually much better than SD! at this point. I'd rather miss SD! every week than miss Velocity once, with the quality of matches they've been having lately. If this keeps up, then no matter how shitty your week is, you can always enjoy a good match or two on Saturday night!

Impact! 12/10/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-10T16:07:00.000-06:00

Highlights from Turning Point of a fake Vince McMahon ordering a fake Triple H to smash a tape with a sledgehammer, only to find it was a D-Ray 3000 tape, not the WWE footage.

1.Christopher Daniels beat Mikey Batts (5:00) with an Angel's Wings.
Rating: *
Thoughts: Daniels had a lot of intensity and really showed the aggression he felt after losing to AMW. He had some very intense offense, focusing well on the midsection and back. This match was very one-sided, and the offense that Batts did get wasn't very impressive, but Daniels did a great job dismantling Batts and showing his anger with some very hard-hitting offense, including the brutal whip into the turnbuckles and the awesome STO.

After the match, Daniels hits the Last Rites on Batts.

Backstage, Hall and Nash confront DDP and talk about each other's performances at Turning Point. Nash tells DDP to stay out of their business, and they'll stay out of his.

Highlights of Turning Point, in which they freeze the frame before showing you any of the good stuff.

Shane Douglas interviews Scott Fatass and Team Canada. Johnny Devine says he's back, and the rumours of his demise were greatly exaggerated. Bobby Rude tells the DOA to line 'em up, and they'll knock 'em down! Petey Williams tells Sabin he had more than one move up his sleeve... or in his trunks, rather! D'Amore talks about how it's been a party 24/7 back home. I guess donuts were served! D'Amore says the one title they don't have is the NWA World Title, and it's about time we get a Canadian NWA World Champion.

2.America's Most Wanted (Chris Harris & James Storm) beat Michael Shane & Kazarian (6:29) when Storm pinned Kazarian after a Death Sentence.
Rating: *1/2
Thoughts: Effective formula tag team match, with Shane & Kazarian doing great heel doubleteam tactics and zeroing in on Harris's injured ribs. Some of their blows seemed a bit weak, but they executed the submission holds well and kept on Harris's ribs with good focus. The comeback was good too, with AMW highly energetic as always, and a nice top rope neckbreaker by Kazarian in the mix. A fun and energetic match with a nice tough of psychology.

Highlight video of Monty Brown's Impact! match against Jeff Jarrett and his Turning Point match against Abyss.

3.Monty Brown beat Glenn Gilberti (0:28) with a Pounce.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Thanks for keeping this one short, TNA! I owe you one!

Tenay interviews Monty about how close he came to the NWA World Title. He says that coming close isn't good enough, but what does count is that Jeff Jarrett now knows who the Alpha Male is, and he can't stop him. In the last two weeks, he's had cracked ribs, hit with 2x4s and chairs, and he still stands! He won't be stopped. That is the truth (not Ron Killings). He's a true survivor, and he even survived the interference from Scott Hall. And speaking of the Kings of Wrestling, they're nothing more than animals on the endangered species list. He says Final Resolution is his destiny, and someone will get the Pounce! He may not be very good in the ring, but he gives an energetic interview.

Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring with the guitar and the NWA World Title. He says that as he stands here before us, the TNA fans, he just has one thing to say: he is still King of the Mountain, Planet Jarrett is still the biggest thing in the TNA universe, and he is still our NWA World Heavyweight Champion! Every second of every hour of every day, we have hated the fact that he is our NWA World Champion. I know I sure have. From Hulk Hogan to Sting to AJ Styles to Monty Brown to Ron Killings, the list goes on and on. He has either run them all out of TNA or pinned their shoulders to the mat 1-2-3. So with Final Resolution only a few weeks away, he has a question to ask each and every one of us: Who is there left to face the King of the Mountain? Here's a hint: It won't be Randy Savage. He walked out on TNA! Jarrett gives us the answer. Nobody is worthy enough to step into the ring to challenge for the title. At Final Resolution, he will not defend his title. There is not a contract that says he has to... that brings out Dusty Rhodes! Jarrett says TNA is his world, and he better back out of it. Rhodes says this is not his world, he doesn't have to back out of it. We've seen the greatest PPV in this industry's history! He tells Jarrett to shut up! At Final Resolution, Dusty has a contract that Russo signed. Dusty controls his destiny! Jarrett will be there, and when he gets a call from the right person in a few days, the whole world will know who Jarrett will wrestle! Dusty is good at laying down the law. Jarrett's promo was a bit too long for what it was but not bad.

Video package highlights of DDP vs. Raven from Turning Point, after which Shane Douglas interviews DDP, leading to Raven confronting him. After some commercials, Raven and Erik Watts discuss how to deal with DDP's lack of respect.

4.Hector Garza beat AJ Styles to earn a non-title match against NWA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett (6:03 shown of 8:40) when Garza cradled Styles as he was going for the pin after a superplex.
Rating: *3/4
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 1:04 to 3:41.
Thoughts: Good back and forth, competitive match with some impressive moves pulled off. The dual language commentary ended up being distracting, so hopefully they don't use that again, but the match itself was quite good. Interestingly, Garza's size didn't really factor into the match very much. Good surprise ending too, with Garza using excellent strategy, although it's a bit weird that anyone would be able to get up like that after a superplex, even just enough to cradle someone like that. The pace they were wrestling at would have worked better if they had gone a longer time, but still a good solid TV main event.

Overall, a good solid afternoon of wrestling with three good matches. Everyone really only watches TNA for the matches anyway, so that's good enough for me. I may get a replay of Turning Point sometime next week and review it. Hopefully I'll be able to watch Impact! every week now that I have more time with the semester being over.

Quick SD! Thoughts

2004-12-09T21:00:00.000-06:00

Actually not a bad show this week, with a pretty good Tag Title match and a fun main event. Not to mention that I racked up (according to my calculations) 111 points from my Fantasy Team, courtesy of Jesus (23 points), Kurt Angle (9 points), Rey Mysterio (40 points), and Rob Van Dam (39 points)! Looks like I had some good picks, except for Angle, who I thought would squash a jobber like usual. I should hopefully rack up a few points from these guys at Armageddon though, so it's all good. But now I have some work to get done!

No SD! Review Tonight

2004-12-09T18:59:00.000-06:00

I'm tired, I'm pissed off, I hate SD! anyway, and I have shit to do for class, so no review tonight, although I will be watching the show, so if you're lucky, I might throw up some quick thoughts. If all goes well, I'll do a rare Impact! review tomorrow. And no, I'm not wasting my money on Armageddon, although I'm considering getting a replay of Turning Point whenever I get the chance.

RAW 12/6/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-07T18:04:00.000-06:00

We kick off with the Highlight Reel, where Jericho announces he is tonight's General Manager of RAW, and as he promised, tonight will be the biggest party in the history of WWE! And no big party would be great without everybody getting laid! Well, actually it's leid, as Hawaiian leis drop from the ceiling to the fans! Jericho makes jokes about getting leid and says this is his party, his show, and he wants to get leid too! He says they can get leid in public, and they won't get arrested! The leis came direct from Hawaii, and when you think of tropical islands, the first thing you think of is Charlotte, NC in December. Tonight, Trish Stratus defends the Women's Title against Lita! And on top of that, the lovely RAW Divas come out for the first ever Chris Jericho rock and roll limbo-a-go-go, with music provided by his band, Fozzy! But before the party can start, he wants us to check out the Jeritron 5000 to see the controversial ending to last week's triple threat match between HHH, Benoit, and Edge. We see several different angles of that ending. Jericho says we don't know who the real World Champion is, and not even the GM can answer that. Only one man is as wise with the decision making power to decide what's going to happen, so Jericho's guest is the Chairman of the Board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon! Vince comes out with the World Title over his shoulder, bringing back memories of his six-day WWF Title reign in 1999. Will he award himself the World Title here tonight? Probably not, but that would be pretty funny. HHH's name is still on the belt. Vince says it seems like everyone has reviewed the footage, and Jericho asks for the answer. Vince says it's obvious to him that after reviewing the footage, Benoit's shoulders were clearly down for a count of three. It's also obvious that Edge tapped out. As a matter of fact, Edge tapped out at exactly the same time Benoit's shoulders were counted down. What Vince suggests is that we have ourselves a tie. He doesn't like ties either. Traditionally speaking, whenever there are two contenders who cancel each other out, neither one would normally be named the World Champion. Therefore... but before Vince can finish, HHH comes out, bearing a striking resemblance to Greg "The Hammer" Valentine tonight. Vince says HHH knows he doesn't like being interrupted, but there's only one word that's appropriate for HHH right now, and that would be congratulations! Vince congratulates HHH on being a best-selling author! He pimps HHH's new book in bookstores tomorrow, Making the Game. But he knows that's not why he's out there. Vince again congratulates HHH for being a certifiable movie star, because this Wednesday, Blade: Trinity debuts, and that is an ass-kicking film! Vince has seen it! HHH finally grabs the belt off Vince's shoulder, but Vince snatches it away. Vince says he didn't name HHH World Champion and gets livid at HHH interrupting him. He hasn't named anybody World Champion, and he's not going to! He's dumping the title in Bischoff's lap, and whether he likes it or not, Bischoff will have to make the decision! But he will make a decision tonight. As far as Vince is concerned, the World Title is vacated, which means one thing, as of this moment, HHH is no longer the World Champion. Vince walks to the back with the belt. I assume they're setting up something for New Year's Revolution, trying to do something that will actually get people to buy that unnecessary PPV.

Backstage, HHH destroys shit backstage as Flair and Batista try to calm him down. HHH argues with Batista over whether or not he's mad and brings up how Batista shrugged his shoulders and walked off with a big smile on his face after Orton threw him out. Batista says it was him running down there to save HHH's ass, and it was him pulling Benoit out of the Crossface. If it wasn't for Batista, there would be no controversy, and Benoit would be World Champion, period. He then says "You're welcome." Flair tries to calm HHH down, but he throws a big table over.

Jericho celebrates backstage with women after HHH being stripped. Christian comes in and shows a bag he found in his locker room with some weird stuff Jericho wants him to wear. Jericho says this is his office, and he doesn't come in and tell him what to do, unless he puts on a lei. Christian is Captain Charisma, and Jericho runs down the famous captains in history: Captain Hook, Cap'n Crunch, and Captain James T. Kirk! Jericho says if Christian wants a match against Shelton, he has to wear that mask, and tonight is a match that no one will eeeever forget again! Benoit comes in, and Jericho knows he's angry, but Benoit says that'll depend on what Bischoff decides. Jericho says he'll give Benoit a change to get some revenge on the man who cost him the title, Batista, so it's Batista & HHH vs. Benoit & Jericho! The former WWF Tag Team Champions reunite!

Highlights from May 10 of Trish scaring Lita into thinking Kane was behind her and Lita attacking Trish until Matt Hardy broke it up. This stuff is good to show how long this match has been building up (about seven months!)

1.World Tag Team Champion Eugene beat Maven by DQ (4:10) when Maven continued choking Eugene past the referee's five count.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Not much of an actual match here, since this was more to just set up a full heel turn for Maven. Maven did well here though, with that spot where he intentionally tripped and claimed Regal did it. Pretty smart heel strategy there, and then his heel antics at the end. Eugene was pretty funny here but didn't get to bust out much actual wrestling, except a good northern lights suplex, although he also threw in the overhand wristlock, which I'm a big mark for. Well done to serve its purpose, but not much in the way of an actual wrestling match.

Immediately after the match, Regal runs back in, and Maven wusses out... or does he? When Regal turns his back, Maven comes back in and hits him with Eugene's belt! Maven poses with a big smile on his face.

Jericho is back in the ring (Man, I really should have had him on my Fantasy Team for the appearance points!) for the rock and roll limbo-a-go-go! The RAW Divas come out, led by Christy and Stacy. The ladies remove their shoes as Fozzy plays. Jericho allows one of the girls holding the limbo stick to play and takes her place holding it. Candice is eliminated when she crawls under instead of limboing. Melina is eliminated, and so is that one girl Jericho let in, then Stacy. Maria is the last one eliminated, leaving Christy the winner. The women then dance to Jericho's song from Originals, "Don't You Wish You Were Me?", played by Fozzy. Fozzy sucks live. In the middle of the song, the arena goes dark, and Mohammed Hassan and Shawn Daivari appear on the Titantron. Despite their shitty gimmick, I'm glad they interrupted Fozzy's substandard playing. Hassan compares this to 9/11. This rivals Katie Vick for the most offensive wrestling angle ever. Hassan promises his debut for next week. What a waste of a segment. Are they going to be wasting time on the Divas like this every week, or will this finally end when Bischoff comes back next week?

Simon Dean comes out with his jar of powder and his bag of shit. Tonight, he wanted to talk to us about his patented Simon System, but the only way that GM Chris Jericho would allow that to happen is if he competed in his first actual wrestling match. So, before he beats the bejeezus out of his opponent, he's going to talk about his patented Simon System, which will turn flab to fab. But The Hurricane's music hits! Meanwhile, Simon still keeps talking.

2.Simon Dean beat The Hurricane (3:58) with a schoolboy.
Rating: *1/4
Thoughts: Very impressive debut by Simon Dean (Nova from ECW)! Some great technical wrestling at the beginning, and then Simon had a good period on offense with some very crisp moves and hilarious heel posing and taunting. Nice ending too, with Simon getting a good old fashioned cheating rollup. It's good that they put him in there with Hurricane instead of Rosey for his first match, since Hurricane was able to work with him much better and help him impress everyone. Of course, those who watched ECW know how good Nova is, but those who didn't got a small glimpse here. He wrestles a bit differently here than he did in ECW, but his character really requires more technical wrestling than all that "fancy professional stuff" (to paraphrase Lawler). Nice fun match here.

Highlights from August 16 of Trish's "bridal shower" for Lita.

Coach interviews Randy Orton, who has got to be pleased with Vince's announcement. Orton says hell yeah, he's pleased that HHH is no longer the champion, because now he can compete for the title. He did everything to make sure HHH didn't walk out with the belt, and he succeeded. He couldn't be happier, and now that we know why Orton has a smile on his face, he knows why Coach has a frown on his face. Jericho had a big party, but Coach still can't get leid! Edge interrupts by making his way to the ring. Appearance points for me! He came here tonight ready to defend his World Title, but the World Title, the holy grail in our industry, is being held up. The fans chant "you tapped out" at him. The World Title is being held up until Bischoff decides what he wants to do with it next week. That is a travesty, a crime against Edge! And the fact that all the people are fine with the fact that Edge isn't World Champion, that makes them all a disgrace! I'm not fine with it. I wish Edge had won, so I'd get the match win and title win points from it. Last week, he won the battle royal. Benoit's feet hit the floor first, and everyone knows it. And from there, in his first ever World Title match, he won! Preach it, brother! He did not tap out. He pinned Chris Benoit 1-2-3 in the middle of this ring. And then, the World Title, it was his, he held it in his hands, he dropped to his knees, and he's never felt anything so good in his life. But it was ripped away from him. He was screwed again! And he blames one person for that: Randy Orton. Randy could have done the right thing. He saw the footage, he could have made it a singles match. But instead, he made it a triple threat. He can't help it if Randy's World Title reign was a complete and utter failure, but that doesn't give him the right to ruin his dream! He suggests Randy get his ass out here, because he's calling him out, and Orton's music immediately hits. Orton gets in the ring and says if Edge wants to blame Orton for his problems, he could have made it a singles match, and Edge would have had nothing. He could have let Evolution run all over, but Orton came out and got them out of there. Orton says Edge is nothing. Edge knows that would happen if they got in the ring. Edge has kicked his ass, but Orton has kicked it back. If Edge wants to blame somebody, blame himself. Edge figured he might say something like that, and Orton says hell yeah, because unlike him, he's been World Champion! And if there's a failure in the ring, it is Edge! Edge says Orton can stand there and say that to him when he has his number? He's beaten him so many times, he can't remember. He ended his eight-month IC Title reign! Orton can come out and say that he bitches every week, but when it comes to them, Orton is his bitch! They slug it out, and referees and backstage agents all come out to break it up! Every time they get broken up, they start fighting again! AWESOME segment! Edge is getting fucking awesome on the mic, and this brought out the best in Orton as well! They really brought forth a sense of anger and hatred that felt real, which will benefit any future match they have. This is what you need to do in wrestling. Not shitty Diva Search segments or Tough Enough sex tests, but feuds where you can literally feel the hatred! Edge and Orton were awesome here, and dammit, I want to see Edge as the World Champion! And I'm not just saying that because he's on my Fantasy Team. Edge has seriously improved since his major heel turn.

Behind the scenes segment for Blade: Trinity, featuring the FORMER World Champion, Triple H! Jessica Biel is hot. I think I said that last week, but it bears repeating. And she can bear my children.

3.WWE Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin (c) beat Christian (5:28) with a T-bone suplex.
Rating: *3/4
Thoughts: Very good TV match with a mostly fast pace, and some nice psychology, with Christian trying to counter Benjamin's moves, and Benjamin changing things up on him. This was too short and really could have used a few more minutes (like as long as their Survivor Series match went), but overall a good match for what it was, with nice quick back and forth action, good heelness by Christian, and Tomko's interference causing a good near fall but ultimately backfiring for a good ending. But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Christian's hilarious outfit!

Jericho comes out and says that he's sorry things didn't work out for Captain Charisma, but next week, he's making a match: Edge vs. Randy Orton! But right now, since CC doesn't want to leave the ring, he and Fozzy will get him out of the ring by sing "Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye"!

SD! Rebound shows JBL & OJ vs. Taker. It's weird seeing OJ with hair. They then show the post-match stuff and nothing else, not even the Tough Enough segment.

Highlights from August 23 of Trish showing up at Lita's wedding to Kane. I've got to hand it to Trish, despite the stupid shit with that Kane angle, she's been awesome with her heel character, especially with her insults to Lita. We then go live to Snitsky getting in Lita's face backstage. It's a shame her husband Kane couldn't be there on her big night, but unfortunately for her, he ended his career, and it's also a shame her baby won't be there to cheer her on either. And we all know what happened there! It wasn't his fault! And one more thing, Snitsky wishes Lita good luck. Snitsky is fucking awesome.

Highlights of Vince's confrontation with Greg "The HHHammer" Valentine and his holding up of the World Title earlier tonight. We go backstage, where HHH is still pissed off, and he calls Bischoff on the phone but gets his answering machine. He leaves a message saying when he left, they weren't seeing eye to eye, but he needs to look at the title situation from a business standpoint. HHH is the franchise player, and Flair adds that he is on the cover of RAW Magazine! Plus Flair adds that HHH has written a book! Sad to see that the greatest wrestler of all time has been reduced to cheap plugs for someone else's shit. Flair continues to suck HHH's dick by pimping Blade: Trinity. HHH tells Bischoff he needs to do the right thing and hand him the World Title. He already did that once, why not do it again? He is interrupted by Batista, who says he doesn't have a problem, but he's stopping him from making a huge mistake. He realizes he's upset, but what is he going to do? He's the Cerebral Assassin, so he's going to threaten the guy that controls the fate of the World Title? Huge mistake. HHH is asking if he's saying he doesn't deserve to be World Champion. I'd say that. Batista says as far as he's concerned, there's only one real World Champion. Flair tries to reassure HHH he's talking about him.

Creed "One" video that we've seen a million times. WWE wants to suck up to the troops because pretty soon, no one will be paying to get into their shows, so they may as well fill them up with troops for free. To be fair, that's also why TNA brought in all those troops at Turning Point.

Lillian Garcia introduces HHH as the former World Champion, and he chases her out of the arena! That was pretty fucking hilarious.

4.Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho beat Evolution (Batista & Triple H) by DQ (8:44 shown of 11:45) when HHH hit Benoit with a steel chair.
Rating: **
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 3:38 to 6:39.
Thoughts: Good but not great (considering the participants) tag match. Nice period at the beginning with the Chrises dominating HHH, and although Evolution's first period on offense wasn't very exciting, Benoit brought a great comeback, and the ending sequence was good, with the double submission on HHH and the WICKED chairshot on Benoit! Still didn't amount to much overall as a pure match, but good storyline advancement.

After the match, HHH hits the ref with the chair too! Then he hits BATISTA with the chair, (supposedly) aiming for Jericho! Then he successfully hits Jericho.

Trish stretches backstage, and Lita comes up to her. Trish calls Lita the "walking kiss of death" and asks her whose career she's going to end next. Lita says "yours" and kisses Trish, "kiss of death" style.

I guess Lillian didn't run too far, since she's back to ring announce the Women's Title match!

5.WWE Women's Title: Lita beat Trish Stratus (c) to win the title (7:13) with a moonsault.
Rating: **1/4
Thoughts: Very good women's match, with a lot of intensity that built up throughout the match, and some great moves. Trish took a big bump to the outside only to be topped by Lita's SICK landing! They busted out some big stuff with the superplex and the moonsault here, and the drama got very heated in the last couple of minutes of the match. One of the best women's matches I've ever seen, with awesome pacing, getting more and more heated, some great psychology, and these two stopping at nothing to get the win! Lita was at her best here tonight, and so was Trish. It's rare that a women's match gets Match of the Night, but this did it! Also, it's notable that the first time Lita won the Women's Title, it was also in the main event of RAW, for which I was personally in the audience.

This RAW started out kind of disappointing, but it started to pick up with Simon Dean's match, and it got really awesome once the IC Title match hit. Some great stuff here, including a Women's Title match that's much better than you'd expect! It's always a risky decision to put a match like a women's match as the main event, but it worked, and they pulled it off.

Free JAPW Wrestling VHS!

2004-12-05T21:29:00.000-06:00

Jersey All Pro Wrestling is giving away a free VHS and catalog to the first 1,000 fans that e-mail them. This federation has wrestlers such as Vader, Mike Awesome, Jerry Lawler, Raven, Christopher Daniels, and more, and hey, a free tape is a pretty damn good deal! Go here for more information. I've already sent off for mine!

(EDIT 11/26/07: Both the deal and the link are obviously long dead. And in a pretty cool twist, they ended up sending DVDs instead of VHS tapes!)

Velocity 12/4/04 Results and Thoughts

2004-12-04T23:04:00.000-06:00

1.Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak beat Nunzio & Funaki (5:38) when Jindrak used a Mark of Excellence on Funaki.
Rating: 1/2*
Thoughts: Decent match, but Reigns wasn't as good on offense as he usually is, and he ended up on offense for most of the match. Nunzio & Funaki got in very little offense, yet they didn't really make this a total squash like when they face no-name jobbers. Not really that exciting and kind of underwhelming, although I did like Nunzio's hilarious selling and Funaki's very short comeback, plus Jindrak showed some good stuff here. I still think they need to give him the Reflection of Perfection gimmick again though. But I am glad to see that the Mark of Excellence is back!

Highlights of Ryan Reeves being eliminated from Tough Enough and the ridiculous segment of the remaining three dressing up like women for Hardcore Holly. What exactly does this have to do with wrestling? Although it was pretty funny to see Hardcore trying to cover up the fact that he was laughing.

WrestleMania Recall: Hulk Hogan wins the WWF Title from Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania V. I guess WWE and Marvel reached some sort of deal over the Hulk name, since Hulk's name was all over the commentary in those highlights.

Highlights of SD! in Iraq last year to promote their return trip to Iraq this year.

2.Paul London beat Akio (5:52) with a flying DDT.
Rating: ***
Thoughts: Fucking awesome match! Some very inventive technical wrestling at the beginning, the sick spot with London's head hitting the mat, that awesome exchange of kicks, this was more like an ROH match than a WWE match! You just do not see a match like this in WWE. I probably would have rated it higher than *** if it wouldn't have been so short. Just a great match, and one of, if not the, best matches on Velocity ever. Brutal, original, and exciting! This is the type of match that WWE needs every once in a while to shake things up.

Highlights of Undertaker vs. JBL & OJ from SD! I didn't see SD!, but looking at the highlights, Taker and JBL were pretty intense here, including after the match (since only the last minute or so of the actual match was shown).

Rundown of the Armageddon card:
-WWE Title: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) vs. The Undertaker vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T
-WWE Tag Team Title: Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree (c) vs. Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam
-Tough Enough Dixie Dogfight: Last two of Daniel Puder, Mike MIzanin, and Justice Smith face off
-Dawn Marie vs. Miss Jackie (special referee Charlie Haas)
-Handicap Match: The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, & Mark Jindrak
-WWE United States Title Street Fight: John Cena (c) vs. Jesus

Segment on HHH in Blade: Trinity.

3.Billy Kidman beat Chavo Guerrero (6:40 shown of 10:24) with a double leg takedown and his feet on the ropes.
Rating: **1/2
Note: One commercial break was taken during this match, from 2:05 to 5:49.
Thoughts: Good main event, with nice psychology and a good extended sequence of Kidman working Chavo's arm. Chavo had a nice comeback, during which he continued to sell the arm and let it affect his offense. They did a good job of making it seem personal at times, with Chavo even doing a couple of things like pulling Kidman's hair. Kidman's heel attitude continues to be great. My only complaint is that this match really should be at Armageddon, since this should be a big-time feud. Hopefully they set something up on SD! to give us a rematch of this at the PPV. Then again, more people probably saw this match on Velocity than will watch Armageddon.

Awesome edition of Velocity, with an unbelievably good match by WWE standards, plus a good solid main event. This could be one of the best Velocitys ever, actually. The opener and the highlights weren't that great, but the other two matches more than made up for that. Terrific show tonight!